Divided Loyalties

Castiel looked down at Dean who was standing in the middle of the junk yard, screaming his name. He could feel his heart break as he listened to the man's voice grow more hoarse with each cry. He had been down there for hours, determined and unrelenting. He would not give up. He knew the angel could hear him.

And Castiel wanted nothing more than to block his ears and never hear again.

This was not how it was supposed to be.

Castiel was afraid. He was terrified.

He was an angel of the Lord. Had been an angel for over three millenniums. He had seen wondrous creations his Father had wrought. He had seen the destruction evil could bring. And he had always had faith that all would balance out in the end.

Now he could not be sure.

They had torn him from his vessel's body. It had been a vicious and painful act. He had tried to fight, but there had been too many. Too many of his brothers and sisters against him. They tore him away and brought him back home. They had not been pleased with him. Had not been pleased with the new emotions that he had recently begun to show

Had not been pleased with the choice he had made that had interrupted their plans.

The choice they had given him was quite clear.

"Follow our orders, or watch Dean Winchester die."

Castiel's newly formed will was crushed.

He made the choice, but not freely. He could not let Dean die. Not after everything he had done to save him. Not when he was the last hope for human-kind.

But the angel could no longer help him.

"CASTIEL!!!!! You son of a bitch I know you can hear me!!!! Get your holy ass down here!!! CASTIEL!!!!! Damn it, get down here!!!!!! I will stay here all fucking night if I have to!!!! CAS!!!!!!"

"Go to him, Castiel."

Castiel flinched. He didn't have to turn to know who was speaking to him.

"No," Castiel whispered.

"Yes, Castiel," Zachariah replied patiently. "He is asking for you. He needs your assistance. Go and help him. In exchange, you demand his loyalty."

Castiel closed his eyes, guilt tearing through him. "I can't do this to him."

"Castiel, do I need to remind you what is at stake? Or should I go assist him? I could solve this problem quite easily for you-"

Castiel shook his head furiously, the fear rising in him. "No!"

"Then follow your orders. Obtain his loyalty. He will do it for you."

Castiel felt like an abused animal. He cowered before Zachariah and reluctantly did his bidding. He didn't know if Dean would ever forgive him for the things he was going to do to him.

Castiel wasn't sure if he would ever forgive himself.