A/N: This is a kinda old idea of mine - just thought of posting it today. Let's admit that we need for fluff. Angst is driving Bleach nowadays.
I was just curious and partially sure enough that Ichigo didn't take a moment to tell his human friends about Rukia's new residence, ne?
He SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. If there's ONE single THING that he had overlooked in their current set-up, it was THIS.
It was how to BREAK IT to his.. friends.
How did he fuckin' get himself to this trouble?
Right - Rukia proposes to do her awesome acting skills and throw that drama at his family, who accepted her wholeheartedly, half-thinking that she IS Ichi-nii's girlfriend, or something. But "no malice intended", as Isshin Kurosaki so giddily put it, they will help Rukia-san no matter what. After all that she's been through-...
Shit. Ichigo swore again.
He totally overlooked this.
"Ichi-nii, Mizuiro-san and Asano-san are here!" Karin called out from the doorway, and Ichigo had nonchalantly climbed down the stairs to face the guys. He casually eyed them - it was decided by draw-lots that the group study will be scheduled at Ichigo's today, so he was really expecting them.
Truth to be told, he was only after copying Ishida or Chad's notes.
"Oi." was his greeting.
"Morning, Ichigo! We're fifteen minutes early, isn't that totally cool?!" Keigo beamed and gave up his idiotic thumbs-up signs.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Ichigo shrugged dryly. "Let's go upstairs. I'll fetch some snacks later."
Of course they went upstairs like the usual. Like they always did on study groups or mere hang-outs. Straight to the room where a '15' sign on the door hung. Ichigo opened his room's door and...
The orange-head SCREAMED AND SLAMMED HIS HEAD AGAINST THE NEAREST WALL. No, he looked like he had seen pigs inside. Or Don Kanonji in a hawaiian costume jumping on his bed, or things like that.
But no, the previous paragraph was utterly wrong. Ichigo simply looked, shocked at his room. He didn't scream or slam his head against a wall - he was feeling too 'shitcrap-i-am-doomed' to do that.
Keigo and Mizuiro, however, had both blinked repeatedly.
Rukia looked up from her comfortable position on the bed and withdrew her eyes from her manga. The raven-haired woman blinked.
Then like a bolt of lightning, Ichigo slammed the door shut and leaned against it, blocking access to his guests. "Ah..hahahah...! I've changed my mind! Why don't we go watch TV while waiting for Chad and Ishida?!" he gave them a toothy smile.
Who would believe Ichigo with a toothy smile?
Get real, berry.
But Mizuiro stepped forward. "Kurosaki-kun," his expression bore his usual one of understanding and kindness and... amusement? His tone however, was clearly stating 'For-Your-Very-Limited-Information', as he followed up, "You have a very pretty girl in your room - in your bed. I saw it with my own two eyes."
Ichigo cursed inwardly. How could he FORGET that first thing in the morning Rukia had occupied his bed reading one of his manga? HOW COULD HE- HOW DARE HE.
"Oh?" was what the strawberry shinigami said, laughing nervously. "Come on, you're hallucinating. Rukia's not in my room! There's nobody there-! Hahahaha!"
So unlike yet so like Ichigo. Mizuiro beamed. "So you call her by first-name basis now? You're close. We all know that you two were close, but we never knew that you two were this... close, Kurosaki-kun."
Thinking back, Ichigo had always thought that, like Chizuru, Mizuiro is... scary. And like Chizuru, Mizuiro is scary in a weird manner.
"It's really early in the morning and she's in your house already, Kurosaki-kun. And she's treating your room as if it's hers. I feel a little bad that you didn't tell me, one of your bestest friends, about this earlier, but dismissing that, congratulations." the playboy took his hand and shook it.
Ichigo could only stare back, one eyebrow raised.
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" he finally was able to shout back, withdrawing his hand from his 'bestest friend'.
Keigo was in the corner, crying silently.
Oh. Ichigo rolled his eyes. Great.
And because Ichigo was leaning on the door, he fell backwards when said door opened.
Rukia looked down at him, sprawled quite ungraciously on the floor. "Why are you leaning against the door anyway?" She said, looking at him funnily, then turning to Mizuiro, the raven-head smiled warmly. "Good morning, Mizuiro-kun, Asano-kun! Is something the matter?"
Last sentence was directed to Keigo, who was poking his index fingers together, still crying for his broken heart. "I never knew... Oh, I never knew..!"
"Ah, nevermind him, Kuchiki-san!" Mizuiro waved it off, nonchalant. "He has issues."
"Why are you still standing there? Why don't you come in?" Rukia dragged the protesting, horrid, desperate Ichigo to stand up and led their visitors inside Ichigo's small room. "Have you had breakfast yet? Should I go fetch some snacks?"
"No problem! I'm still full!" Mizuiro shook his head. Ichigo fought the urge to hit both of them with a baseball bat. He couldn't help but flinch at the fake sugarry exchange. He even felt like changing their background to sparkles and bubbles.
The room's owner simply made a grunt-induced comment about sitting down on the floor or sitting on the bed as long as he sat on the chair by his desk. Keigo, now partially recovering, sat loosely on the floor while Mizuiro settled himself on the edge of the bed. Rukia leaned on Ichigo's desk top.
Mizuiro, ever-smiling and ever-curious, decided to push Ichigo's hated subject though. "So, may I ask-"
But before he could continue, there was a knock on the door. Rukia automatically walked to fetch it and opened the door, smiling at the newcomer. "Good morning, Ishida-kun! Come in!"
"Good morning, Kuchiki-san." Ishida smiled back, went in, and also sat on the floor.
Ichigo sighed in relief. At least Ishida wasn't surprised. After all, he knew.
Well, THAT was the problem. He KNEW - and if Ishida blurts it out-
"Kuchiki-san, what are you doing here in Ichigo's room this early?" Keigo asked nicely. Too nicely for Ichigo's opinion.
"I..." Rukia scratched his head. Is it not obvious? "I'm reading some manga..."
"What he meant is, why are you in this house so early in the morning?" Mizuiro asked.
At this Ichigo had to dodge Ishida's and Rukia's questioning looks.
"They don't know?"
"You haven't told them?"
Ichigo HATES raven-heads. He was about to say something when both Keigo and Mizuiro then interrupted and asked Ishida and Rukia...
"Don't know what?"
Ichigo was about to answer with the quickest escape route he knew- "Actually-"
"Kuchiki-san lives here." Ishida answered honestly, dutifully.
The two ignorant friends blinked. "Lives here?"
"I sleep with Yuzu and Karin." Rukia continued.
Ichigo sighed - HE IS DOOMED. At the silence that followed, he silently prayed that this will be over and he could throw Keigo and Mizuiro out his window. Now THANK GOD Kon wasn't around at this time...
Wait. They're still silent. And when Ichigo looked at both Keigo and Mizuiro, he inwardly shivered.
Why are THEY looking at him LIKE THAT?!
"Excuse me." The door opened a crack and Chad's head peeked in. "Sorry I'm late."
Yuzu's head popped up under the giant, smiling. "Rukia-nee, would you like to come with me to the groceries?"
"Sure, Yuzu-chan!" Rukia got up and let Chad in and then got out. "See you guys later!"
"Ja, Kuchiki-san!" Keigo and Mizuiro beamed at her.
When Chad entered the room and sat beside Ishida, he couldn't help but notice how Mizuiro was smirking and how Keigo was peering curiously at Ichigo's ever-scowling expression. Ishida was the only person sane enough to push them back to reality.
"Why don't we start already?"
But that smirk and that curiosity was still there.
The group were all sitting in a circle around a small table and idly writing down notes and reviewers. It was like nothing... strange happened that morning. They simply studied together like they always did.
"So how's Kuchiki-san as a housemate?" Keigo finally asked, not looking up from his writing. Nobody stirred at the question, though Ishida and Chad could feel Ichigo's tensed and heated reiatsu.
Pens and hands still busy with their works, they continued studying as if an idiot wasn't damned interrupting and asking killer questions.
"Is she a good cook?"
Ichigo raised an eyebrow as he continued doodling important ideas in his notebook. She cooks with Yuzu sometimes and it tastes like decent food anyway.
In the exchange of questions and answers, nobody dared look up and stop reviewing.
"Your sisters like her."
"You dad also likes her, right?"
"So you like her too."
All pens came to a halt. Ichigo mentally slapped himself. If someone would view the friends' reviewers, they would notice that four out of five had at least one deep, dark, big ink blot acquired when the writer abruptly stopped writing.
Then they all begane writing again.
"Are you going out with Kuchiki-san?"
Ishida seriously wanted to throw Keigo out the window. Or at the very least use the Seele Schneider on the idiot.
"No." came Ichigo's nonchalant answer.
"Does Kuchiki-san wear a sexy nightgown?"
All pens stopped midway again. Ichigo looked up, glared dangerously... "Keigo."
Mizuiro knew that tone. That was the 'don't-mess-with-me' tone, Ichigo version.
"Yeah?" Unfotunately, being the idiot that he was, Keigo still beamed and looked up to face Ichigo cluelessly.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!??!"
Ishida and Chad, who were in either side of Ichigo, had to grab either of his arms to stop the shinigami from going Bankai.
"Huh?" the brown-head didn't seem affected by the rise of Ichigo's temper, though. "I mean, look - Kuchiki-san's gorgeous and she's intelligent and sweet and mysterious, man. I'm sure you have hormones and you'll take advantage when she's lying in your bed, wearing a thigh-high black nightgown-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP."
"If I'm in your situation, I would have seduced her already... Well, maybe you already DID, 'cause she's so comfortable in your bed, hahaha..."
Mizuiro was inching closer to Ishida in case of emergency. He didn't want to get on bad terms with Ichigo.
"Well, it's true, hahaha~ I mean Kuchiki-san's really pretty. And don't DENY, Ichigo! We know that you two are, erm.. hm, a couple? Why else would your dad let her live her if you're not involved??"
Ishida, however, was pushing Mizuiro away and making a signal that says 'shut-him-up-please' while doing so. The playboy, partially afraid, had begun to tug on Keigo's shirt, to no avail.
"Keigo." Chad spoke up, a spectacle too seldom seen, so of course Keigo stopped babbling and listened to what the giant had to say. "I suggest that you consider not going anywhere near Rukia-san in a one-kilometer radius this whole week. If you want to stay alive, that is."
Mizuiro and Ishida shakily nodded. It was only then that Keigo tried to look at Ichigo who was glaring menacingly at him. "You better follow Chad's advice."
"Uh..." Keigo laughed dumbly, nervously. "Okay."
"Epic win, Chad." they heard Mizuiro mumble.
A/N: Ahahaha, this is some old fic in my old notebook. I thought it was hilarious to no end so I posted it anyway. XD Chad pwns. Chad saves the day. So Chad deserves some cookies!!!
Thanks for reading... and, review? :D