Smash Genesis: Many thanks to The Scarlet Sky for letting my use her idea.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon. Natsume does.

Ninjas vs. Pirates

Ah, yes – summer. Overusing sunscreen and getting all slimy, under using sunscreen and getting all burnt, the constant threat of some darned kid's volleyball landing in your ice cream, model airplanes that run out of batteries in midair, plummeting to an untimely demise – yes, summer is a truly magical time.

But not for Rick.

No, for Rick, summer was a bloodthirsty duel, defending all that was right and holy from the Snack Shack Menace.

Rick and Kai had feuded for many years. Most of the townies would assume that the feud was about protecting Popuri –

Those people would be wrong.

If only Rick could find that brainwashing machine Kai had hidden away behind the counter – then Popuri would see the truth!

That ninjas ruled supreme over pirates!

The young man and his sister waited anxiously as Kai's ship pulled into the dock. He was also freaked out when he saw it was made of pancakes and maple syrup. There was also had a hint of bird poo coming from the cargo hold.

"Hey, Popsi!" Kai greeted. "I got you a present!"

"Ooh! A present!" Popuri squealed in delight. "What is it? A kitty? A gorilla? A feline-mammalian genetic hybrid?"

Kai looked stunned for a moment, as if to say "I'm dating a nut job." Then he smiled and said "How'd ya know?" Turning to a sailor on deck he said "Okay boys, bring'er out!"

The crewmember ran below deck for several minutes. He, and several other sailors, came back up pushing a large cage down the boarding plank, containing what can only be compared to a six-breasted alien on crack. "Her name is Debbie."

"Debbie and I are going to go play checkers now! Bye!" And so, Popuri and Debbie galumphed off into the setting sun.

Two weeks into the summer, the feud between Rick and Kai was at a stalemate. While Kai's naval assaults had been brilliantly planned, Rick's super awesome ninja-ness had granted him the ability to evade most of the projectiles launched by Kai's fleet. The same couldn't be said for Manna though, but it's not like anyone actually liked her.

Kai and Lillia were talking in the lobby of Poultry Farm, both agreeing that algebra homework should be abolished.

Long live recess!

Little did they know, Rick had been using his ninja training to spy on them from the safety of the ceiling. Rick released his grip on the paneling gracefully landing on his nose. "I think I broke my spleen!"

"Egad!" Kai gasped. "You were spying on us weren't you?"

"I think I'm losing consciousness."

"A confession!"

"Could I at least have some ibuprofen?"

"Scoundrel!" Kai was horrified. "If it's a duel to the death you want, then it's a duel to the death you'll get! En garde!"

Rick jumped to his feet, just barely dodging Kai's scabbard.

"Okay, you two!" Lillia said, stepping out. "You can play, but I just cleaned the floor, so be careful!" The sickly woman closed the door, leaving Rick and Kai alone.

In an instant Kai's sword clashed with Rick's kunai. Rick quickly countered, leaving Kai on the defensive. "You're not going to make a Naruto reference, are you?"

"No," Rick replied in mid-swing.

"Really?" Kai was gleeful.

"Believe it!"

At just that moment, Popuri and Karen came in, only to be amazed at just how hot their boyfriends were when they were bloodthirsty.

"Pirates!" Kai insisted.

"Ninjas!"

"PIRATES!"

"NINJAS!"

"Whoa! Back up!" Karen said. Rick and Kai stopped what they were doing and faced their girlfriends.

"That's what this whole rivalry has been about – ninjas vs. pirates?" Karen sighed and turned to Popuri. "We just had to date nerds, didn't we?"

"Agreed. Besides, everyone knows that dinosaurs are the best," the pink haired girl commented.

"I know right?" The two knuckle-touched.

Kai and Rick turned to face each other. "Rick?" Kai said.

"Yes?"

"What do you say we eliminate these pitiful nonbelievers?"

"Finally! Something we can agree on!"

Popuri's and Karen's faces were never quite the same.

Yes, they are all idiots, aren't they?

Author's Notes: Review please!