Disclaimer: i dun own Naruto or any refrence to Gintama's Madao. I'll be posting a Madao refrence page for all those Gintama fans who were wondering about the differnt types of Madao.
Yeah, so, new story....haha...DON'T KILL ME!
"Team 7: Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura," Iruka started.
"YES! Take that Ino-pig!" the pink haired Kunoichi shouted.
"And Uzumaki Naruto." Iruka continued on as if Sakura didn't interrupt.
"Why that loser" Sakura whined.
"What the FUCK!"
Everyone went silent and turned to the orange wearing genin. The blond haired shinobi stood and his sapphire blue eyes flashed angrily. The suns rays hit the mid-back golden-blond hair that was tied in a low ponytail. His short but slender stature radiated anger waves that had Akamaru whimpering in fear.
"I did not become dead-last so that I could be stuck with the walking Pepto-Bismol Ad and the duck-butt-emo-king as my fucking teammates! I became dead-last so that I wouldn't be stuck with them for the rest of my genin life!"
"Who are you calling a 'walking Pepto-Bismol Ad'?!" Sakura shouted. Sasuke just glared at Naruto.
Naruto sneered at her.
"What, are you deaf? Kami just looking at you makes me sick. Ugh, isn't Pepto-Bismol supposed to be a laxative?" he put a hand over his mouth and looked away from Sakura who was being held back by Iruka for trying to throw a kunai at him.
"Pepto-Bismol only treats minor upsets in the digestive system. It's not a laxative." Shikamaru stated from besides him.
"It's not like you are going to be stuck with them forever Naruto," Iruka started after Sakura calmed down somewhat. "It'll only be for a couple of months until you reach the chunin exams."
"Don't try to sympathize with me Iruka-sensei. You are not the one that's going to be stuck with them, I am! Besides, you need to be recommended to be in the chunin exams. Our sensei could be some kind of lazy pervert who only reads porn and comes late to every single freaking meeting only to teach nothing!" Naruto nearly screamed.
'Maybe I shouldn't tell him…' he thought.
The Hokage office…
"ACHOO!" Kakashi sneezed.
"Ah, someone must be talking about you Hatake-san." Kurenai stated.
"Sou ka…" he replied absently and continued to read his porn.
"As I was saying, Kakashi, would you give your students a chance before you fail them?" the old Sandaime asked.
Kakashi sighed and nodded.
"So, introduce yourselves. It can be anything from likes, dislikes, to dreams." Hatake Kakashi drawled. His silver hair swayed with the light breeze while his uncovered eye was reading the lines of his "Icha Icha Paradise" book. There was a slight blush that the genin could detect from under his face mask as he giggled perversely.
"You've got to be kidding me." Naruto deadpanned.
It seemed Naruto's prediction of their sensei was correct.
Perverted: Double Check.
Porn: Triple Check.
Late: Check x100.
"You can't be serious." Sakura moaned.
Kakashi looked at his students confusedly.
"Am I missing something?" he asked aloud.
"That better be a rhetorical question you ero-sensei." Naruto growled.
Team 7 was on the roof of the school building and getting ready to introduce themselves…3 hours later then the rest of the genin who already left.
"I'm not an ero-sensei." Kakashi defended.
"Then what are you?" Naruto demanded.
"Well—" Kakashi started.
"Ah, I get it. You must be depraved. Is that why you're reading porn, because you can't get any? Che, then all you are is a (ma)tomo ni (da)karetakunai (o)toko: a man no one wants to date. In short, a Madao." Naruto sighed and turned away.
"Since you feel like talking, why don't you introduce yourself first." Kakashi demanded as his hand twitched towards his kunai pouch.
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. For the past 3 fucking years, I pretended to be a stupid idiot to get the reputation of 'dead-last'; all so that I didn't have to be stuck with Pepto-Bismol over here and duck-ass over there. But as you can see, it backfired so now I'm stuck with the worst teammates in the history of existence. Why, you ask? Because there is no team. Duck-ass over there thinks that team is spelled with an 'I' and Pepto thinks that the sun shines out of his ass. And you, you lame excuse of a jounin-sensei, all you are is a freaking MADAO!" Naruto yelled, standing. He took a calming breath and sat back down. "Anyways, I like ramen, training, and my friends. I hate you all, so jump off a freaking bridge and die. My dream is to find a hubby and settle down after a long career of chaos and destruction in the ANBU corps."
The rooftop was silent as everyone, once again, stared at the supposed dobe of the entire genin class.
'I have a psycho on my team!' was the collective thought of the three.
"O—kay then. Pinky, you're next." Kakashi pointed to Sakura.
"My name is Haruno Sakura. Not Pinky. Not Pepto-Bismol. Sakura. I like-looks at Sasuke-eep! I dislike Ino-pig but I hate Naruto! My goal is-again, looking at Sasuke-eep!" Sakura blushed. Naruto and Sasuke moved away from her and tried to ignore the squealing girl.
'A psycho and a diehard fan-girl…Kami save me. Well, the Uchiha can't be that bad.' Kakashi thought.
"Broody you're last now speak up." Kakashi teased only to get a glare in return. He could've sworn he heard the word 'Pedo' coming from the blond but dismissed it.
"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I have no likes but many dislikes-he glared at his teammates and jounin-sensei-my dream, no my ambition is to kill a certain man and revive my clan." Sasuke stated.
Once again it was silent. Sakura was on Cloud 9 while Naruto and Kakashi just stared at him.
'Great a psycho, a diehard fan-girl, and an avenger. Minato-sensei…WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOO?!' Kakashi yelled in his mind.
"Aren't you supposed to be a genius you idiot? Dream and ambition mean the same thing you dumb-ass. Read a freaking thesaurus. Also, it doesn't take a freaking mastermind to figure out who you're talking about. It's not like nobody knows who caused the Uchiha Massacre. Kami and you call me 'dobe'. And everyone wonders why I didn't want to be stuck with Pepto and duck-ass." Naruto mumbled the last part.
Sasuke was ready to jump at Naruto along with Sakura when Kakashi interrupted to keep the peace.
"Anyways, tomorrow is the survival test to see if you guys will become official genin." Kakashi said only to get glared at by his three soon-to-be students.
"What do you mean? I thought we were already genin." Sakura asked.
"The test you took at the academy was to weed out the idiots. There is a 66% chance failure and those who fail goes back to the academy for remedial training." Kakashi chuckled darkly.
Sasuke gritted his teeth and glared at the floor while Naruto sighed and Sakura worried about her self-image. Kakashi handed out three scrolls and leaned back against the rooftop railing.
"Meet me tomorrow morning at 5 for the survival test. Oh, and don't eat if you don't want to throw it back up. Ja!" he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.
"Che, I'll bet that Madao is going to be late tomorrow." Naruto said as he stretched and let out a soft moan when his back cracked. He glared distastefully at his detested orange jumpsuit.
"I can finally get rid of this crap. Not that I don't like orange but this is a little too much for my tastes." Naruto muttered to himself as he jumped off the academy roof and headed home.
Sasuke stared at the retreating blond, a little bit disturbed by the fact that he enjoyed hearing that sound. Sakura winced when she heard Naruto's spine pop and shivered before turning to Sasuke with adoring eyes.
"Sasuke-kun do you want to have dinner with me?"