Spring Break Secret:
Lunch, T.K's POV:
A/N: I thought my use of Zugzwang was clever, if a little out of character for T.K, who probably doesn't play chess. I've spent a lot of time on this story, please review. I REALLY want to know what people think.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.
Kari was beautiful. Not just this, she was… something more.
I didn't know how or why I hadn't noticed this before, but now it was really, really clear to me. And now that I did, I was starting to fall in love with her. To think, I had known this girl for almost eight years now, and then, suddenly, I fall head over heels for her. She was the one person who I could rely on to understand me.
All this was a mixed bag, though.
On one hand, if I asked her out and she said no, it would make this awkward between us. Even worse, if she said yes, and we fought and broke up, there would be no one who would truly understand. Only she and I had seen both sets of horrors, and both of us relied on the other to be there whenever sanity started to slip away.
And that happened a lot. My mental battle scars manifested themselves as an ego and a hell of a temper when I thought someone was doing something immoral. Hers, ironically, caused an inferiority complex.
If I lost her, I would have no one left who would be able to catch me when I fell.
On the other hand, these same traits made her ideal. She was always there for me. I knew I could trust her, no matter what. And really, if these feelings survived, it would make everything awkward for as long as I knew her.
Especially if she felt the same way about me.
It was like a chess term I'd heard when listening to Ken and Yolie talk.
Zugzwang. It meant that you had no right move, and that any move they had lost material, or the game. And in chess, you had to move. Just like I now had no choice but to fall in love with her. My choice of moves was simply to tell her how I felt, or not.
"T.K, why are you staring at me? Do I have something on my face?"
"Not staring at you, you happen to be where I'm looking, but I'm thinking." I lied.
Well… Half lied. I WAS staring at her, but I also WAS thinking.
She seemed… Disappointed. Which was weird, since I couldn't imagine why she would WANT me to be staring at me. I decided it must have been something else.
"Is something wrong?"
I could tell she was lying. I knew her well enough to know when she was lying and when she wasn't.
Of course, she probably knew I had been lying. And neither of us would pry, and so we would get absolutely no where._________________________________________
"Hey, Kari!" Davis said, running up to me as if he thought I was more likely to like him today than I had been yesterday.
For some reason, this seemed to irritate T.K.
It had never irritated him much before, but I was starting to see a pattern.
First, at lunch, T.K. HAD been staring at me.
Second, he responded not out of irritation, but out of jealousy when Davis acted as he usually did.
It could be that T.K. was finally starting to feel the same way about me as I felt towards him.
Or it could be wishful thinking. Probably was, I saw no reason that he should suddenly change from showing no interest in me to feeling as strongly for me as I felt for him.
Either way, he had no idea how I felt for him.
But I had all spring break to change that.
And I realized that this was probably the one chance I would ever get at being with him as more than a friend.
So I would give I would tell him how I felt.
But not right now.
"Hey, Kari?" T.K. asked, "Isn't your apartment back that way?
"Your right, it is!" I said, feeling like an idiot. "Thank you." I said, waving goodbye.
It must have been the first time I'd ever seen him look pained when I left.