Disclaimer: I don't own TNA.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. They were lacking a little, but to those who bothered, it was much appreciated! Sorry if this chapter blows.
Chapter 4: Ghosts of the Past
I sat in the airport at my gate, waiting for my flight to Austin to begin boarding. I was dreading this. I desperately wanted to just stay here in Florida and avoid Lance forever. All he was going to do was yell, drink and brood when I got there.
I could have an abortion. That would be the easy way out. And do I really want to raise a child with Lance? He's not exactly father material in my eyes. This is going to put my whole career on hold too. But who am I kidding? When has anything ever been simple for me?
I was going to have to stick this one out. I was going to have to try to make Lance warm up to the idea of starting a family. And I was most certainly going to have to keep distance between Chris and I at all costs.
I sighed thinking about him. I think he wants to be the father. How can he though? There could never be a healthy relationship between the two of us ever again. I was always too dependent on him and he had been too obsessed with me. It's almost his birthday again. This was the time of year almost eleven years ago when I realized things between Chris and I were going to get intense. I probably should've just ran like Joey did from the old man next door...
"I dare you... to go next door, ring the doorbell, and moon Old Man Curtis when he answers the door." I cringed at the dare given to Chris' friend Joey, but the redhead jumped up and set to it, the rest of us going over to the kitchen window, which faced the elderly grumps house.
It was Chris' sixteenth birthday, to which he only wanted a small gathering of his friends over his house for the night with movies and junk food. He really wasn't a high maintenance guy. His parents had even left us all alone, taking this opportunity to go out on some kind f romantic date.
We all laughed and bolted back to the den when we saw Old Man Curtis chasing after Joey with a cane, running away with his pants down at his ankles. We were collapsed all over the room, cracking up when he ran in, red in the face and hitching his pants back up around his waist. "Dude, that guy was gonna cane me!" he exclaimed, winded, which only made us all laugh harder.
Once the commotion had died down a little again, Joey picked the next unfortunate victim, who happened to be me. "Blue, truth or dare?"
Being the only girl here besides Joey's sister, who was two years younger, I was afraid I'd fall victim to having to kiss someone. "Truth." It was the safe choice, after all.
I saw Joey's pale blue eyes glance over at Chris, a malicious grin spreading over his thin, pink lips. "Are you a virgin?"
My heart thumped in my chest and I saw Chris whack Joey in the arm. "Dude!" he hissed, clearly finding the question inappropriate.
"What? I just asked if she was! I'm not fishing for details or anything. Besides, I thought you'd wanna know!" A few of the guys snickered and Chris' cheeks got a little pink as he threw a pillow at Joey.
"Shut the fuck up," he told his friend, but it's not as if they don't tease the two of us constantly anyway. We haven't done anything at all, not even kiss since that night I crawled into his room through his window. Things had been sufficiently awkward the next morning too.
"Yes. I'm a virgin." I wanted this spotlight to be off of both of us, and quickly. The uneasy feeling hadn't settled though, even as the game continued and was now focused on concocting something gross for Richie to eat.
"Dude, would you stop?" Alex's voice made me look up from my cell phone, which was sitting in my palm. I still wanted to call her so bad. "You're borderlining pathetic here man. Seriously, she's just a chick."
I frowned at Alex's words. He just didn't get it. He didn't understand how close we'd been. Sometimes, I think I'd give up my wrestling career to have what Blue and I used to have back again. But that would never happen. Let's face it; we were doomed from the start...
Everyone had gone home by now except for Blue, who was going to sleep on the couch in the den. She'd just get her ass kicked if she showed up home this late. My parents were still out on their date, so we settled for watching a movie in my room, or had at least planned to.
I glanced over at the blonde on my bed and saw how tired she looked. "Do you wanna just go to sleep Blue?" I asked.
She looked up at me with her sleepy, blue eyes and shook her head. "No. It's your birthday. I wanna do whatever you wanna do." I froze for a second, not sure if she would actually be up for what I wanted to do if I suggested it. Which reminded me...
"Hey, I'm sorry if the guys made you feel weird. Joey's an idiot." I don't know why he had to ask her about her sex life in front of everyone like that. Blue's just starting to get used to all of them.
"It's okay," she assured me, sitting up on the bed and stretching her arms out. I know we'd messed around last week, but I think she just wanted it for comfort. Is it wrong for me to be thinking about my best friend like this? I can't stop staring at her right now.
Get a grip. "But, you know, you shouldn't feel weird. I mean it's okay. I'm... I mean... I've never... done it." I scratched the back of my neck as I admitted that I was still a virgin. I think most of the guys are under the impression that I'm not, but I kind of have little interest in girls around here. Well, excluding the obvious.
Her eyebrows rose and she suddenly looked a little more awake. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'm a guy so I don't really advertise it. But I'm a... um... yeah." I shrugged and avoided her eyes. She probably thinks I'm a loser now.
A smile spread over her lips when I finally looked at her. "I never gave you my present."
I didn't do it, but I wanted to sigh in relief. "Oh really? And what's that?"
"Me." Yeah, I wish.
"Oh, what a treat," I grunted sarcastically, thinking she was just fooling around. When I looked back at her though from my movies, I froze.
Her shirt wasn't on anymore, and she was just lying there. "Chris, I'm serious."
I must've looked like a fucking idiot, standing there with my jaw hanging. She was seriously just there, topless, no bra, no nothing. I didn't know what to do. She's really serious?
I saw her eyes roll and she crawled off the bed to stand in front of me, lifting the hem of my shirt with her small hands, breaking me out of the stupefied daze I'd been in. I slowly lifted my arms up so she could pull my shirt over my head and finally closed my mouth, ready to get a handle on this situation.
She seriously wants this to happen! I can't believe it! I don't know why I can't believe it since we did fool around that one time, but it's still shocking me. N way I'm going to be some nervous, stuttering idiot though. I need to get a grip. I have to take control. Blue expects me to know what I'm doing; I'm older, and I think she kind of depends on me a lot.
I felt a boost of confidence when her hands felt at my chest, thinking that my workouts had been paying off, thankfully. She was looking up at me, kind of unsurely. That made me smile a little. As if I didn't want her or something. Yeah right. I wrapped my arms around her torso, pulling her tight against me and leaning down to kiss her jaw.
Her arms were curled around my beck, her fingertips brushing my nape with one hand, the other combing though my hair. Her lips were right next to my ear and I almost groaned at the little gasps that were barely audible that kept coming through those gorgeous, perfect, full lips of hers. I remembered that time she'd gone down on me, thinking about the way her lips looked wrapped around my dick. My pants were definitely tight now.
Part of me wanted to savor this moment, but a stronger, much more... male part of me wanted to get to the best part.
I moved my lips over to her soft, delicious ones and undid the elastic in her long, beached hair, letting it loose down her back. Oh god, she smells so good; like citrus. I couldn't help myself. I was trying to be all slow and gently, but I lost it and grabbed a handful of her hair, breathing heavily against her lips. Blue was doing the same exact thing though, touching me to the point where I wasn't even sure I was going to make it to the sex for a minute as her hands hid below the waistband of my sweats.
I pulled her hands out before it was too late, her hands starting to rub against my chest and stomach again. "Chris, can we just..." She trailed off with a groan while I rubbed her breasts, flicking one of her nipples with my tongue.
Her hips pressed into mine and I suddenly realized she was just as urgent as me right now, so I undid the button and zipper of her pants and she shimmied them down her legs while she kissed my neck, going so close to my throat. That was my weak spot... well, apart from the obvious.
I started to pull her panties down over her nicely curved hips, but stopped when her tongue ran up the length of my throat and I moaned. Meanwhile, her hands were trying to get me out of my own pants, and I finally just stopped trying to slow this all down. I lifted her enough to get her on the edge of my bed, finishing the job of getting rid of her underwear before walking over to my desk where I hid my condoms. Hey, a guy's gotta be prepared at this tender age.
I got rid of my pants myself before going back to the bed, stopping short when I saw her sprawled out and touching herself. God, the sight was almost enough to finish me off right there. Why watch when I can join though, right?
Coming back to reality, I slipped the rubber on and crawled on top of her, one of my hands feeling up her thigh as I did. Her eyes opened when I moved her hand away and sucked her fingers clean.
God, I've never seen such a sexy girl in my life. She was just completely and utterly perfect. To me at least. And frankly that's all that mattered. I didn't want to be all sentimental and gay, but I was glad this was happening with her and not some other chick.
I didn't waste anymore time and just pushed in, not too fast, but not too slow. Ugh, she was so warm and tight. I think I probably gasped and I definitely closed my eyes for a minute and just sat there. I didn't want to hurt her, though I was a little surprised there was no popping of the cherry. I didn't feel any barrier break, but I wasn't going to complain. I'd heard horror stories about girls losing their virginity from some of my friends and I'd also heard if girls were sporty, then sometimes it wasn't there, which Blue was definitely athletic. I wasn't going to complain about less of a mess.
I stared to move inside her, enjoying the view I had of her fingers teasing her nipples and her parted lips as she let out a little whimper. I test my grounds a little bit to see if I could go a little faster, not much though. I wanted this to last for a while.
I pulled her thighs up so her knees were bent, giving me easier access while I leaned down and ran my tongue over her swollen bottom lip. Her lips moved against mine hungrily, and I was surprised at that little bit of aggression. She was always so shy and passive. I wouldn't expect her to be so eager, or at least show it. But I guess she's comfortable enough with me now... well... obviously.
Her hips rolled into mine and I held her thighs a little higher, moving at a nice, steady pace. I started to suck on her tits again, more rough this time. She liked it though, I could tell by the way her hands fisted my hair and she pushed her chest up. I'm glad I pushed my nerves back cause this was all coming pretty naturally. If I'd been over thinking it, it probably would've ended up being much more awkward.
I had to move my mouth away from her when I started to pick up the pace a little, feeling a familiar tingling. Suddenly, everything just got tighter around me. I didn't even think that it was possible. Everything was just so wet and tight and warm, I couldn't hold it any longer. Her chest was pressed up into mine, and I could feel her legs shaking a little as I squeezed my eyes closed, growling as my hips jerked against hers right before I saw stars.
"Chris..." her voice was hoarse when she moaned and I pulled back, panting for my breath and sweat beading my forehead. Sliding out of Blue, I pulled the condom off and tossed it in the trash near my bed, right before I collapsed exhausted onto the bed next to her.
I lay on my side so I could look at Blue, who had a pretty flush on her face that I was proud of. She only lay flat on her back like that, still writhing a little before she cuddled into me and I wrapped my arms around her.
I would've rather kept a little distance until I cooled down, but it's okay. If she wanted the affection, I'd give it to her. Blue's face was buried in the crook of my neck and I could feel her lips and breath against my skin, especially as she uttered the words I don't really think I was ready or expecting to hear. "Chris, I love you."