Vertibirds swarmed around the Jefferson Memorial like flies around a corpse as more and more Enclave troops in power armour poured into the building in search of their target. The science team were completely taken by surprise as they found themselves looking down the barrels of deadly plasma rifles.

'Okay, you ragamuffins,' bellowed a young grunt, 'we believe you're harbouring a wanted man by the name of Player Name. We demand you hand him over immediately.'

'Why, what has he done?' asked Liam Neeson.

'That's not your concern. All you need to know is that we're looking for him, and that we have big guns that we're prepared to use.'

'Are you going to hurt him?' asked Amiable One with a Heart Condition, 'because that would stress me out which isn't good for my heart.'

'I'm afraid we're going to kill him,' said the Enclave trooper with an apologetic sigh.

'Urk,' gasped Amiable One, clutching his chest.

'Oh my God, are you okay?' asked the trooper.

Amiable One stooped over, drawing deep, gasping breaths. 'I'll be fine in a moment...you bastards.'

'Look, if it were up to me we'd all give Player Name a big hug and tell him everything's okay. But orders are orders so instead we're going to have to blow his brains out.'

'I won't talk,' said Nervous One Who'll Probably be the First One to Die, and was immediately hit by a burst of searing plasma, reducing her to a pile of green goo.

'You murderer!' yelled Liam Neeson. 'You won't get away with this.'

'I beg to differ,' said a voice with a southern accent, belonging to a man in a brown officer's uniform. He was tall and thin, with greying, sandy-coloured hair. His expression was grim and his eyes were ice-cold.

'Permit me to introduce myself,' he continued. 'I am Colonel Augustus Autumn of the United States Army.'

'Colonel?' said Liam Neeson.

'Yes, colonel,' said Autumn. 'It's a well-known fact that all officers in the US Army have southern accents. Now, I aim to find this cotton-pickin' Player Name character and you're going to tell me where he is.'

'I hate his guts, but I don't know where he is,' said Snooty One with a Superiority Complex.

'It's true,' said Dr Li. 'None of us knows where he is.'

Just at that moment, Player Name emerged from the men's bathroom amidst a cloud of steam, with only a towel around his waist.

'Ah,' he said, 'nothing like a refreshing hot shower for that all-over radioactive glow.' He caught sight of the power armoured men and squinted.

'Hey, are you from the Brotherhood of Steel? You look like them, only a bit more intimidating.'

'We ain't the Brotherhood,' said Colonel Autumn, 'but I'm guessing you're Player Name?'

'Why yes, I am. What can I do for you fine gentlem...'

A stream of plasma bolts fired in his direction sent Player Name sprawling to the ground, jolting his towel loose.

'Quickly,' said Liam Neeson, 'we have to get out of here. Follow me.'

The science team ran for their lives, only pausing to help Player Name off the floor.

'Hey wait.' yelled Player Name. 'I need to find som clothes.'

'No time,' said Liam Neeson, 'we need to get out of here!'

'You son of a bitch,' called Colonel Autumn. 'I'll kill you, and your little goat too. Get him!'

The team sprinted ahead, with the clanking sound of a dozen power-armoured troops close behind. 'Quickly,' said Liam Neeson. 'I know how we can escape.'

He directed them to a floor grate which they heaved open before scurrying down the rusty ladder one-by-one into the dark depths below. Player Name looked around in dismay.

'Well this is just great,' he said. 'We're in a sewer, and I'm naked.'

'Well if it's any consolation,' said Dr Li, 'I'm actually a lesbian.'

'Ah, well, at least there'll be nothing for Goatmeat to nibble on,' said Amiable One, 'but I guess we'd better press on before those Enclave maniacs find us. What say you, Liam Neeson?'

'Say, where is Liam Neeson?' said Dr Li.

'Dad?' said Player Name.

Uh oh, looks like he didn't make it,' said Slightly Shifty One.

'Oh no! We have to go back for him,' said Player Name.

'There's no time,' said Dr Li, 'we have to push on, otherwise we'll lose more people.'

'Liam Neeson. Nooooo!' called Amiable One, and was immediately struck by chest pains.

'Are you all right?' asked Player Name.

'Yeah...I'll be fine in a minute.'

'Come on!' snapped Snooty One. 'We need to move!'

And so the scientists, Player Name and Goatmeat advenced through the sewers, with the loss of Liam Neeson heavy on their minds. The way ahead was dark, and they were only able to see by the light of Player Name's Pip Boy, its light casting long eerie shadows against the filthy walls.

They trekked on for what seemed like hours through the cold damp labyrinth of corridors; at least Player Name found it cold.

'Do we even know where we're going?' asked Player Name.

'I do,' said Dr Li. 'Just follow my lead.' Suddenly she froze.

'What is it?'

'Up ahead. Look.'

It was difficult to make anything out, but by the Pip Boy light they could just about spot a human shape in the distance. As they squinted in the dim light they saw more figures; at least four.

'People live down here?' said Player Name.

Slightly Shifty One scowled. 'I wouldn't call them people.'

Suddenly, one of the figures appeared to turn in their direction. It paused to utter a blood-curdling scream before charging in their direction. The other figures, alerted, turned towards the group, uttered similar blood-curdling screams, before sprinting towards them. As they drew close, the group could see they were naked except for loincloths around their scrawny waists. Horrifyingly, their bodies appeared to be rotting away, giving them a zombie-like appearance.

'Feral ghouls!' called Dr Li as one of the creatures lunged at her throat. 'Help me!'