night was dark. It seems like an obvious statement, but this night
was so utterly dark that even I was afraid. My wolf senses seeming
desperately lacking in the fierce wilderness that surrounded me. I no
longer had any idea where I was. I no longer knew what day it was.
All I knew was that it was night, and this was the first time I had
stopped running since breaking from Sam's pack.
I felt like a complete idiot. A rash, foolish, immature idiot! A part of me wanted to run back home and beg for forgiveness... but pride wouldn't allow such a thing. Grovelling? That so wasn't my style.
So now I was at a loss for what to do. I had no ties to bind me. No pack... no Bella. She had just come back from her honeymoon. Even Charlie had given me his not-so-subtle 'stay away' talk. She was happy now, apparently. She no longer needed me.
I howled into the blackness. Long and loud. Mourning for her in my human mind, and crying for her with my wolf's body. Remembering her acceptance of me, the way she ran her fingers through my fur, the way she kissed me that first time even if it was a ruse... I blocked these painful memories as my paws started to run of their own accord. At least there was one positive with being away from the pack, my mind was my own again. I almost couldn't remember what it felt like not to have others shouting at me for thinking inappropriate thoughts. Though, without the mixture of voices... I was beginning to get lonely.
I growled as I skidded to a halt. I couldn't go on like this. Even if I didn't beg for forgiveness, running away from my problems wasn't the way to go. It wasn't the way I'd been brought up. Thinking of Billy caused another howl to erupt from my throat. I hated to imagine what my absence was doing to him. How much I must have disappointed him made me feel even more guilty.
I hung my head low as I searched the void around me for a speck of light, for any sign of life at all. At least if I knew where I was, I might be able to start heading in the right direction. Home.
Seeing nothing amongst the trees, I had to hold my head high. I sniffed the breeze, then headed towards a distinct scent. Humans. People. Something I wasn't anymore. I hated thinking like this, like the outsider; if only it weren't true.
My sign turned into a growl as something rustled in the bushes beside me. A rabbit. No bother. I wasn't hungry anymore. Even though I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten anything. Ignoring my odd behaviour, I continued toward what I hoped would be civilisation.
knew it... I was there. It wasn't much, but at least it was
something. A little town in the middle of nowhere. So desolate, not
even street lights marked the winding path the road briefly followed
through the small town. Some of the houses reminded me of the Rez,
but I didn't want to be reminded of home right now. Not when I was so
close to chickening out and continuing to run away like the coward I
Instead, I changed. Quickly. Then snuck into the nearest backyard. Luckily, a few spare clothes had been forgotten on the washing line overnight. I helped myself to a pair of khaki shorts and a black shirt that wouldn't even button up across my chest.
Properly covered, I decided to wander down the main road. No street names marked the road, no sign posts told me where I was. So I simply followed the road that I thought would lead me south. The weather may not have affected me, but I did notice the chill in the air that told me I was much further north than Forks would be. Just as I had started my gentle jog, the snow started to fall. Perfect white crystals against my russet brown skin. I growled as I swatted the perfect, sparkling flakes away from my skin. Too great a reminder were they of the immortal that was chosen over me.
Just as my vision started to swim with the tears that threatened to flow down my cheeks, I heard a voice.
'Jacob?' The voice seemed unsure. Though it was timid, it startled me so violently I jumped. Then I cast steely glances around me. Where was this voice coming from?
'Jacob?' It was the same voice. I swear I recognised it from somewhere...
'Jacob?' The voice was more urgent, cutting off my own thoughts.
'Where are you?' I screamed at the blacktop as I spun in a circle, trying to penetrate the darkness to see whoever was following me.
'Jacob... I'm in your head.' As soon as it was said I knew it was true.
'But...' I didn't get chance to finish before I was cut off once more.
'Jacob,' the voice bit a little harshly. Reminding me even more of someone I was sure I knew. 'It's me... Leah.'
pain was excruciating. I was sure I must be dead. There was no
possible way I could have endured so much and still be
'Edward.' I tried to shout, but it came out as more of a whisper.
'It's okay, love, I'm here.' A gentle, cool pressure tightened around my hand. I whipped my head around. I could barely see him through the fog of anguish that surrounded me. Though I could have sworn that he looked as bad as I felt... but that wasn't possible. Not for my beautiful, amazing, perfect Edward.
'Did it really happen?' I forced the question from my lips.
'The wedding, the honeymoon... everything. Did it happen? Are you sure it was real? Are you sure you're real?' I attempted the last question as a joke, but it came out as more of a strangled cry. Edward looked utterly helpless.
'Of course it was real. And I am most certainly real. I'm the one that's done this to you...' he choked off. I stared at his face once more. If vampires could cry, I would swear my beloved Edward would have been at that moment.
'It isn't your fault. Honest... I'm fine.' The lie was futile. It was clear to all that I was very far away from being fine.
Ever since we had come back from Isle Esme, things had gotten worse. Ever since I had found out that I was pregnant. I knew that Edward would always blame himself for what had happened... but if I hadn't forced him then none of this would be happening. It was all down to me. I was breaking my brand new, perfect marriage apart. All for something that I didn't even know I wanted. But now that I had our child inside me, I knew it was right. However much Edward begged, I knew that I had to keep this child. And Rosalie was the only one that could help me do that.
'Where's Rosalie?' I asked, suddenly aware of her missing presence.
'She had to feed. She almost attacked you yesterday while you were asleep, it was getting too dangerous for her to go without. She made me promise not to move until she returned.'
That was when Carlisle entered the room. I was painfully aware of his appearance, but I couldn't do anything about it from my makeshift hospital bed in the Cullen's living room.
When I stared harder, I noticed he had a syringe. I started to panic. I looked at Edward, but even he couldn't hold my gaze. I knew something had to be going on. Something was wrong.
'Edward,' my voice was laced with panic. 'What is going on? You said you'd promised Rosalie...' I trailed off as another wave of pain came coursing through my abdomen.
'I know I promised... but... Carlisle... he didn't...' Edward couldn't finish. All he could do was tighten the grip that still encompassed my hand.
'Don't panic, Bella.' Carlisle instructed, though it was far too late for that now. 'This will all be over soon...'
I screamed as the needle approached my IV... more for fear of the needle than anything else. But then the real implications hit me. What about my baby? I knew they were going to do something terrible. I would never forgive them.
'Don't...' was all I could mumble as the drug dulled my senses and lulled me into a not so peaceful slumber.