How did one go about professing their unyeilding love for another casually?
Say, at about six o' clock, dinner time?
Raven didn't think there was a simple answer to such question. It was so sudden, her feelings of passion. She was never able to feel such emotions before, never had been allowed. Friendship, love, and kindness were all frivolous things that weren't mandatory in one's life---that was her train of thought growing up. While other girls brushed the blonde-headed dolls in pink plastic houses and dreamt of marrying a handsome, tall man, Raven had been exiled from society. When not even your mother felt comfortable hugging you in private places, one knew when they weren't cared for. Arella fed her and clothed her, but that was all she could have supplied. And as much as Raven appreciated her efforts, she did not love her. If Raven ever had, she would surely have shredded the dimension of Azar into pieces by the age of seven. While other girls had temper tantrums, Raven was hiding in hallways as she escaped from daily training, forced to surpress any feelings. While other girls were complimented by their adorable charms, Raven was constantly reminded that she was evil. Oh, the other girls grew to be young women; as did Raven. But the trends continued. As the other girls began wearing more showy make-up and tight clothing, Raven hid behind her hood and any leather-bound book she could find. As the other girls began kissing boys in secret behind pillars and hugging in public, Raven would watch in disgust. What would cause these girls to act to outlandishly silly over the opposite gender?
Then she had met the Titans, whom saved her from herself. As other girls gossiped and squealed over prom, Raven used her demonic powers to join a team of superheroes, all freaks like her. She faught along side them, defeating evil and bringing forth justice. She tried to redeem herself by fighting crime. She had also met Him, the man of her dreams---well, when they had met, he was still a boy. She hadn't known it yet, however. He was reckless and immature; he was naiive and stuborn; he was thick-headed and idiotic. But as the years dragged on, she realized what those traits really were. He was brave and imaginative; he was sweet and honest; he was devoted and humorous. He was, in a way, made for her.
He was her first real friend.
She had been picked up from the gutter, so to speak, by the Titans, but she had been brought into the arms of a saint when he befriended her. At first, they had argued constantly. Raven would always prefer silence and peace if she ever left her room, and he of course was not capable of either. He was loud and obnoxious when they had first started as a team, but for some strange reason, Raven was the only one who thought this about him. He had called her a freak, she had called him an idiot, and they would both end up hurt by words not meant to scar. She wasn't used to interacting with people, you see. All the attention he would shower her with was just simply too much for her, a girl who was accustomed to being ignored when in a crowded room. But he finally accepted her with open arms, forgiving of all her hurtful words and actions. Every time she would lash out, he would still be there with those stupid eyes, full of love. It had made Raven sick at first. Why would he not fight back with her anymore? Why would he no longer try to rip at her heart with harsh words that spit from a silver tongue?
Because he all of a sudden started to care.
Raven, still new to the business of showing emotions, would be unable to relate to him at times when they would talk. She didn't know what to say when he ended a sentence with, "I just feel different things, you know?" And the fact that she couldn't talk with him frustrated her, making her aggitated. If he would question her moodiness, she would snap at him, only to regret it later. Slowly, she began to see what friendship was like. She was warming up to his strange ways, and he was forcing her to taste emotions in a way she never had experianced them before. He had his faults, of course. He didn't know when to leave well enough alone, and he could sometimes be quite stupid, to a point where Raven wasn't sure it was believable. Of corse Raven had hers---much to many to list now---but he pretended as if her random bursts of rage and inability to communicate with others was natural, making her feel less socially awkward. She even managed to start a conversation with three of the Titans without him there at some point.
That was when blonde-haired, blue-eyed Terra entered the scene. She had the body of a foreign model, the face of an ancient work of art, and the happy-go-lucky personality that made it easy to be in the same room with her. She was the reason why Raven's mornings were torment, the person who tore up her world and caused reality to tear by the seams. Raven saw the look on his face when he first saw her. When her wind-chime laughter was the response to one of his unfunny jokes Raven never liked, she knew he had fallen for Terra. She was everything Raven wasn't and then some; she was like the other girls Raven had seen all around her, but better. Raven saw her in the halls with Beast Boy, and her heart would ache. She would see them hold hands, and her stomach would clench. She had caught them kissing, and for the first time in years, she had felt tears grace her cheeks. It was too late for her; even after she had realized that she was in love with him, Terra got to him first. She would clench her fists and revert back into her shell whenever he was near---taking several giant steps backwards from the three hesitant steps he had made her take. She grew angry with herself constantly. Why should he have to suffer? If Raven could never find true happiness, then why shouldn't he try to? He deserved a shot at happiness for all he had been through, all that he did for others.
And Terra, who had his heart wrapped around her little finger, was gone. Just like that---poof, you can't find me. He had, of course, been heartbroken. Terra had been his love, his one and only. While Raven was happy she had gotten lost, he hid an inner pain that tore him apart from the inside out. He skulked about and grew angrier with the other Titans, mainly Raven because of how easy a target she was. She took the abuse without a comment, allowing him to let out his pain. At night she could hear him scream and kick at his walls, and she could almost picture him trying to break his knuckles. She talked with him when she could, and he began to come to his senses, the original jokester shining through the murky fog. He had hugged her and told her that she was like his younger sister, and his best friend. Raven was so happy then, that she meant so much to him. She wanted more, but she took what she could. She wasn't allowed to be greedy now. After all she had seen and been through, she couldn't afford to be greedy and want more. She was lucky enough that she had one friend, let alone four of them. She ignored the constant ache in her chest when he smiled, secretly wishing that he would be smiling because of her. But, she lied to herself, she was happy.
But she was so horrible, so disgusting, so greedy.
She had to tell him she loved him. She would watch him sometimes when he wasn't aware, and she would realize that he was hers. He wasn't a posession of hers, nor was he a boyfriend (ugh, she hated that word; it sounded so juvinile.) He was her angel, as cliche as it was. How ridiculous! she would laugh silently to herself. A guardian angel for Satan's daughter! But who else but her needed one? It was about time she had been blessed with one of God's gifts, even if it had taken a while to reach her. As she looked at him more often, she knew she had to tell him. She had to take a chance and tell him because if she didn't she would spontaneously combust. She deserved happiness, even if it meant taking one the risk of losing her best friend, her gaurdian angel.
She would tell him tonight after dinner, then, if she couldn't figure out how to bring it up during the meal.
I've decided to start a collection of mini, non-related short stories filled with BBRae fluff that I've thought up late at night.
This one was a bit long, but oh well~