A Saber Marionette J Fanfic
by Intrasonic
Valley of the Wind Productions


"What is it?"
"The clones!"
"THE CLONES?!? What's wrong?"
"They're... it's terrible! Come quickly! And get Lorelei!"

It took only minutes for a swarm of castle individuals to make their way inside the
laboratory and take in the scene. Everything looked immaculately clean as always, right down to
the almost fully developed clones in their individual test tubes. Except-
"Look at the clones!" the man cried. "They're..."
Gasps began to echo throughout the rom, courtesy all of all the human arrivals.
"...this is terrible..."
A diminutive figure began to slowly push through the crowd.
"What's wrong?" Lorelei demanded, still tying the belt around her nightgown. She had
obviously been sleeping only moments ago, but the thought of any possible threat to the
developing females had given her a queen-sized jolt of adrenaline for the instant.
"It's terrible!" one of the researchers wailed. "Look at the clones!"
Lorelei frowned, inspecting several before making a pronouncement. "I... don't believe
that I understand what the problem is."
"But... it's obvious!" the man insisted.
"Explain," she invited, still frantically scouring one of the clones for signs of any defects.
As far as she could see, they were developing perfectly...
"_There_!" another man pointed, his trembling hand managing to point towards the nether
regions of one of the clones. "It-it's _missing_!"
Lorelei twitched, quickly stifling a disconcerting thought before it could take root.
"_What_ is missing?"
"Their... you know... _thing_..."
That nasty thought resurfaced again, more insistent. "Genitalia?" she finally ventured.
The man nodded quickly.
She stared at him in disbelief. Then she realized that every single other human being in the
room was wearing a similar look of horror. "You... you can't be serious," she croaked.
"You can see for yourself!" another man stressed. "_It's_ missing! On all of them!"
Lorelei nursed a suddenly-appearing headache. This couldn't be happening. This was so
ludicrous that it bordered on surreal. This was positively _stupid_.
"She's in shock," someone whispered in horror.
"It's understandable. For such a development to occur..."
"Kino..." she whispered. "... do you have _any_ idea what _that_ is for?"
The aforementioned researcher, Kino, raised an eyebrow, briefly glancing in bewilderment at
his fellow researchers. "Well... to go to the bathroom, of course."
Lorelei looked desperately towards the rest of the room, her expression almost frantic.
"Does _anyone_ know what _that_ is for?"
"*cough* takin' a leak..."
"You... can't be serious!" she protested weakly.
Kino hesitantly placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Lorelei... perhaps you're
simply tired. But I assure you, that's what _they've_ always been for."

That night, collective Japoness was woken from its collective slumber by a single scream
of absolute and complete agony.


It was some time later that found two individuals sitting across from each other. A table
was between them, complete with a steaming teapot and two teacups. The first figure was a man,
with long blond tresses and a build to dwarf that of the average man. The second was a woman,
who was still breathing rather noisily, as though she had only recently stopped hyperventilating.
"That would explain the scream that Luchs detected."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make anyone worry. It's just..."
Faust nodded understandingly, lightly placing a hand on her shoulder. "It _is_ rather
bizarre, I must admit. But realistically, I don't think we should be surprised. Terra II has been
without females for three hundred years. When marionettes were created they were intended
sorely as assistants in an underpopulated world. I imagine they were made female because of
nostalgia more than anything. And since marionettes do not require food and were never intended
to create offspring... certain things were not included in their construction."
Lorelei shuddered. "You're right, I know. It's just so... unreal. So elementary that I never
even thought to question it. And to think that I was about to unleash these females upon the
"An honest error. I know of... these things only because I possess the memories of the
original Faust. Otherwise, I would be no wiser than any other man on this planet."
Both sat in silence for a time, but their minds were together in thought. An extremely
crucial issue had been brought to the forefront, one that could have ended in near-disaster had it
not been caught when it had.
Terra II needed Sex Ed.


Author's Notes:

This little ditty is something a I typed up after watching the Saber Marionette J series. I had
originally expected to be another Tenchi Muyo-esque piece of crap, but was beginning to notice
that a lot of the fan works coming out for it were of a surprisingly high quality. So I gave the first
few episodes a try. Then I saw the rest. Then I read any fanfics that I could find for it.

Somewhere along the way, I began to think what Terra II must be like after 300 years with no
women around. And well, this little piece resulted. While I've only seen the first two parts of SMJ
(up to the end of Again), I don't think the issue is ever clearly addressed. While I suppose it's not
entirely unthinkable that some marionettes might have been created simply for the role of
mechanical prostitutes, I don't think it's ever really stated for certain.