"Okay Keith...I want you to start at the beginning." My eyes had gone lazy at this point as I slowly looked up at the bald Dr. Hartman. "The beginning of what?" He leaned forward in his seat as if about to scold a small child for breakin' somethin'.
"Well....everything, I suppose. Tell me anything that has ever affected you in a major way that might explain why your friends and family are worried about you so much." I turned my head back up as I tried my hardest to relax on the comfy red couch that crazy people lay on while they bitch about their problems. I ain't supposed to be here....but I am. And I had a feelin' that I'd end up somewhere much worse if I told him the whole truth.
"Well....a couple of years back....my pops ran out on me, my mom and my sis. Of course...not long afterward, he came back to us...but hardly any of my friends know that. I try to keep as much of my personal life to myself as possible. My friends....they don't really know as much about me as they think. I'm usually the really laid back guy that sees everything as a great big joke.....but I could only wish that that was the whole case. Believe it or not, I'm just like everybody else and I have things that I worry about. I ain't some kind of alien that has to ALWAYS be happy, ya know." He looked up from his pad and nodded. I took it as a sign to continue. "Anyway....what else......I can't really think of anything else that may have affected me, doc."
He raised an eyebrow and leaned forward again. "Are you currently having any problems at home?" I shook my head "no". "Not really. Just my dad sometimes gets on my ass about different things...nothin' I ain't used to."
"What about friends?" I shook my head again. "Nope....things are goin' great." Then came the one that I was really dreadin'...
"What about your girlfriend? Surely a handsome young man like you has a lil' lady waitin' for him at home." Should I tell him? I dunno if I should...... "Um...yeah. My girl's doin' swell and we're happy together."
Fuck, coulda at least tried to put a little bit more effort into that lie, Keith! The doc gave me an odd look as if he knew I was lyin'. He totally did. "Keith, I-"
"Please man...call me Two-bit." He raised his eyebrow. "I much prefer to call you "Keith". It was the name your parents gave you and the name you'll forever be remembered as." I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever you say....of course not even my teachers remember my real name." He rubbed his temple as I could hear an audible groan. I'm good, huh? He looked back up at me.
"Anyway...Keith, I know you're lying. I've been a psychiatrist for thirty-seven years now. Believe it or not, I've worked with a lot of compulsive liars over the years. I see all the symptoms of you not being true about your word....so please be honest. I won't broadcast anything you say in this office unless it's something very serious." Damn....sonuvabitch is good. I sighed in defeat and looked up at him with pathetic eyes. "......Would me bein' with a guy count as somethin' serious?"
His eyes widened and he started scribblin' like mad on his little notepad. Welp....looks like the jig is up. I'm goin' to the funny farm.... "They're gonna take me away, ain't they?"
He looked up from his pad. "What do you mean?" I sat up and turned to face him. "You heard me. They're gonna come to my house and strap a straitjacket on my body because I'm in love with a boy, ain't they?"
He remained silent. That ain't real promisin'... I began to shake my head viciously. "No....t-they can't lock me up, doc!"
He crossed his arms as I went on. "D-Do you actually think originally intended to be this way?! Believe me, I've tried to convince myself that I liked girls before.....but doc....you can only fool yourself for so long. It took drastic measures for me to finally realize that I didn't like women! I-I'm sorry if that ain't what society likes...but I can't deny who I really am. I'm gay, Dr Hartman, and I always will be. There ain't nothin' you can do to fix that. You could strap as many fancy lil' jackets as you want on me while you inject me with some drug that makes me see flyin' lambs while I sit cross-eyed and gigglin' in a yellow padded room.....but that won't change the fact that I'm gay and that my heart belongs to a boy." My heart wouldn't stop beatin' and my breath was runnin' out....what the fuck?! This ain't even the first time this has ever happened, either!
He widened his eyes, leaned closer, and put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay, Keith?!" So...much...trouble....breathin'... "*huff* I'm...*huff*...fine, doc."
Funny, a doctor who works with crazies was askin' me if I was "okay". He raised an eyebrow and came back with, "Just calm down, okay? Does this happen often?" I shrugged. "Only sometimes....why?"
He nodded and scribbled more on his notepad. "A-Anyway....tell me: These dreams you've been having lately...and yes, your friends have told at least a little bit of what had them worried. Tell me....what're these dreams consisting of?" I cringed at the request.....that was the real reason I was here in the first place. "Um...well....it started like after a few days of datin' my guy."
He gestured for me to lay back down on the couch and I did as I was told. "I had a dream that he tried to kill me because he didn't think I was tellin' him the truth about how I felt about him. Then....I eventually stared havin' this one dream that didn't ever really end....it just kept goin' on and on everytime I'd go to sleep." He nodded and replied with, "Oh really? Well tell me....how'd this reoccurring dream go?" I sighed and laid my head back.
"Well....it took place about a year from now. My guy and our best friend were dead in my dream.....I completely lost it. I gave up on everything....eatin', bathin', my family, my friends.....everything. In the dream, my friends tried to help me and I didn't listen. I kept tryin' to convince myself that I was better off without anybody.....and I saw him.....the love of my life....even though he was dead. We fought and made up....and he just disappeared after that. Next bit kinda happened fast....I just remember that I tried to shoot my myself and-" At that point, Dr. Hartman stopped me. "You tried to commit suicide?" Ugh...no fuckin' shit, dumbass.
"Yeah....I did. But Ponyboy, one of my other best friends, stopped me and.....e-everythin' else is kinda blurry. That's all I can remember. And then afterwards, I'd been havin' these really scary daydreams that I feel like is really happenin'....but it ain't. That's why I'm here today..." He stared at me for a second before he started scribblin' again. "So tell me, Keith......what is your relationship with....Ponyboy? Was that his name?" I nodded and replied with, "Yeah...strange name, I know. His parents were real original folks, that's for damn sure. He also has a brother named Sodapop and another brother named Darrel....but we all call him Darry. I'm pretty damn good friends with all three of them. Sodapop was one of the first people that found out about me likin' men. He was real supportive...and I'll always be grateful for that. Ponyboy knows, too.....but then again...he's gay, too. He's datin' his best friend now, actually."
My eyes widened and I sat up again and faced the doctor. "I-I didn't just say that! I-I...umm....oh god..." Damnit... "Doc.....don't send Ponyboy to the funny farm, please? He's too young to go through somethin' that terrible. And don't send his boyfriend, either. And....for the love of God....don't send my boyfriend."
He smiled weakly. "I won't say anything about any of your friends....hey...wait a second....you're not talking about Ponyboy Curtis, are you? The one that saved all those kids from that burning church?! Holy...that kid's a real hero." I smiled back. "Yeah...and Johnny Cade's his boyfriend."
His mouth dropped. "My word....is everybody in your circle of friends gay?" I shrugged. "Not sure, really."
He nodded. "How many people know that you're gay, Keith?" I had to think for a minute. "Well....there's my guy, Sodapop, Ponyboy, Johnny, my sister, this one guy named Buck, a couple of cops, you....I can't really think of anyone else."
He wrote something quickly on his notepad. "Nobody else?" I shook my head. "Nope."
"How's that make you feel?" My face lowered. "Like shit. I used to feel very depressed hidin' it from everyone....thought about killin' myself a few times because of it, actually. But I wasn't about to let anyone else know that, no way. So I showed them a side of me that I only truly am anymore around my friends who know about me....and that's the happy mask that I have to wear for everyone. The one that shows that I ain't got anythin' to hide.....but I do. Probably more than anybody'll ever know. It....hurts. Badly..." I looked up at him finishin' up his notes.
"Hmm...well Keith, it doesn't really look like anybody'll be locking you up for anything. From I can conclude by listening to you today, you suffer from minor anxiety...major depression....homosexuality..." I rolled my eyes. "Of course..." He looked back at me.
"But other than that...I don't see much of anything wrong with you. The dreams are just signs of major stress. I suggest you start relaxing more often. Take a walk, go see a movie, go on a romantic date with your boy....just anything to ease your nerves a bit." I smiled weakly. "So...what do I do about my depression and anxiety?" He looked down at his pad and started scribblin' somethin' else down.
How much do you wanna bet that he's sketched a picture of my head screwin' off my body? I'll bet you five bucks that his is. "No problem, all I suggest is that you just stop by here about once a week for a little counseling and you'll be fine in no time. That is.....if you'd rather I asked a doctor to prescribe some medication for you..." I waved my hands in a dismissive matter.
"No, thank you! I've heard all about what that shit does to you!" He chuckled and nodded. "Very well. Let's see...how about after school every.....Wednesday? That okay with you?" I nodded as I lifted myself up from the couch.
"Yeah...thanks doctor." He nodded as I headed for the door. "Hey, Keith?" I turned back to face the bald man.
"Yeah, Dr. Hartman?" He leaned forward. "If Ponyboy Curtis and Johnny Cade are a couple.....who's Dallas Winston with?" I gave him my famous grin as I stepped back in front him.
"He's mine, doc."
Woot, woot! It feels great to be writing this storyline again! :D!!
Now, there's a couple of things I should inform everybody on before this continues. Of course...this'll be rated M again. XD Sorry!! Anyway.....the story will be through Two-bit and Dally's POVs again.....but also you're gonna get a little insight on what everybody else in the group is thinking (pretty much....Two-bit and Dally aren't the only characters whose POV will be explored). Also, as you may have noticed already, there will most certainly be some OOCness (which I also apologize for....:(...)
Anyway....I hope everybody enjoys this!! :)