arghh I think a little piece of me died inside from watching the season finale. :( I suppose that I will have to live off of fanfiction now to feed my House/Cameron obsession. haha in any case, here's another one-shot. Hope you like. =]
Cameron leaned against the glass doorframe of House's office, willing herself to walk in and say her farewells. She and Chase were going to move to Arizona, and her plane was leaving the next morning. Chase had asked her to follow him there two years when House first fired him, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Princeton Plainsboro. So he followed her back. This time though, she knew that the move was the right thing to do. Chase had gotten a great offer at a hospital there, and the administrator had sounded eager to fill a recently vacated position in the immunology department as well.
Cameron had already exchanged hugs with Cuddy, who promised that she would always be welcome back if she decided to return, and Foreman, who said that whatever they were (friends, colleagues, or maybe a bit of both) he appreciated her kindness and would miss her. She thanked both of them and later ran into Wilson, who had seemed especially sorry to see her go. She knew how much he cared about people and felt a slight tinge of regret when she realized that she had never invested much into developing a friendship with him. She had always run into him head-on whenever it came to House, probably because they were the two people in the world that the most cared about him. Cameron's slight regret at having to say goodbye to Wilson however, was nothing compared to the wave of emotions she felt at having to say goodbye to House.
She didn't know what to say after all these years. Thank you? I'm sorry? A part of me will always love you? She internally cringed at the last one and knew that if she offered House a confession of love he would beat her over the head with it. Her other options for a last exchange with him weren't much better though. I'll miss you? That was a slight improvement, but she hated the uneasy sensation of déjà vu that accompanied the thought. I know that you don't care, but I am sad that I will probably never see you again? That was honest, but she knew that House would mock her pitiful display of emotion. She would lie to him instead. She would make it clear that she had moved on and that the possibility of never talking to him again was not going to affect her. After all, she had been telling herself this lie for longer than she could remember.
"House," she finally said softly. "Chase and I are flying out tomorrow. I just wanted to say that if this is the last time I see you, I wish you the best of luck. With everything."
Hmm. That didn't sound as confident as she would have liked it to, but then again, it wasn't as much of a disaster as it could have been either. When House didn't respond, she turned to walk away, slightly stung that he didn't bother to say any last words to her but maybe even grateful that perhaps he recognized that he would make it easier on both of them if he let her walk away.
Then again, it really wasn't in House's character to let her get away that easily. When she was almost a safe distance away, he asked sharply, "That's it?"
Cameron groaned silently to herself and whirled around. "What?" she asked in disbelief when she stepped back into his office. She tried to end things on a note that he would appreciate… detached, unemotional. Of course, being House he would have to give her hell for it anyway. It was just like him to toy with her until the very end.
"I don't even get an 'I miss you'?" he asked in mock hurt, turning around in his chair to face her.
She looked coldly at him. "You don't get one because it's not true." She tried to sound believable as she told him icily, "I will miss the hospital. I will miss most of the people here, and I don't regret the three years I spent as your personal lackey. But I won't miss you." She was done giving him chances to play with her, to push her to see how far she would break before she shattered completely.
He rose from his seat though and took a step closer to her. She hoped to a God she didn't believe in that he couldn't hear how fast her heart was beating right then. His blue eyes burned into her guarded green ones. "You're lying."
Everybody lies, she thought wryly, and she almost smiled at the familiarity of it. She knew better though and watched him expectantly, keeping her expression intentionally blank.
"Why else" – another step closer – "would you have stared at me for ten minutes before declaring that you wouldn't miss me."
Cameron's face flushed, and she glared at House defiantly. Oops, bad move. Glaring at him required looking up into his eyes. If his proximity hadn't already been enough to send her heart into cardiac arrest, his breathtaking blue eyes were certainly getting the job done.
"I – I…" Her paranoia told her that this was just another game. That if she gave any indication of weakness, he would drop the act of being an actual human being and laugh in her face. She told herself to lie to him, but she realized that deep down, she didn't want to. Not now, when this was possibly the last thing she would ever say to him. Not after years of lies and half-truths. Her head told her to lie to him. Her heart refused to obey. "I… didn't want to say goodbye," she whispered, holding his gaze.
He nodded almost imperceptibly. Without thinking Cameron pulled him into a tight hug. He tensed and she mentally kicked herself for losing her resolve to prove that she was over him, but she liked the feeling of being in his arms too much to pull away, especially since he was now stiffly hugging her back too.
God, this just felt so… right. But they both knew that it couldn't last. They were both too damaged, and together they would have been a beautiful disaster – impossibly perfect and strangely poetic, but a disaster nonetheless. This was all their relationship was made of… small moments and things left unsaid. Perhaps someday, they'd be able to make something of the small moments and say the things they had only told each other in their dreams. As for now though, House told himself that he would only miss the puzzle, and Cameron told herself that she would move on. Everybody lies.
Cameron reluctantly stepped back. "Goodbye House," she said softly. When she was almost out of the door, she turned around one last time and said, "I know it doesn't matter to you, but for what it's worth… I will miss you."
He held her gaze. "You're right, it doesn't matter."
Unsure of how to react, she bit her lip and walked away.
When she was almost out of earshot, she heard him say, "Then again, everybody lies."