NEW CHAPTER UP! Thank you for all the reviews and messages! So things are unfolding one by one but... the real trouble hasn't showed up yet.
I would especially would like to thank those that has been following from the start, thank you so much for sticking guys, sorry things progressed slowly :)
''Where are you? I want to speak with you...'' Shizuru was inside the cab which was for the moment driving aimlessly through the city. The night had fallen rather beautifully. Stars were watching down the earth, and the tiny creatures that occupied it. Every story unfolding in front of them so delicate and beautiful because it was mortal and would end in the blink of an eye.
A laugh was heard from the other side of the line.
''Why? Bored with your Snowqueen Sugar so soon?''
This was good, Shizuru thought. Nao was in her usual mood. Or at least it sounded like so...
''Ara... It's Snowflake. How come you always get that wrong? ''
''Because it's not important for me to get it right.''
''Touché. Can I see you? Where are you?''
''Where I was for the past years Shizuru. Shouldn't be so hard, since that was where you spent your miserable days as well ne? Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders one wise man said, indeed he was right. Though I shouldn't be surprised. Did your ephemeral ecstasy gave you a short term memory loss, want me to text you the address? Oh whatever.. just look for the highest hotel in town and then take the top floor on the elevator.''
''I didn't forget a single thing. Stay put, I'll be there in ten minutes.''
''Well this will be a first... me opening the door for you...''
''Just stay there Nao.''
''Would you like me to spread my legs here or do you wish for me to assume another position?''
''Stop it Nao.''
No. She was not in a good mood. Shizuru looked around the desolate room that was dimly lit by the city lights. Nao was sitting on the table her light green eyes piercing through Shizuru. She didn't know how to approach the girl. Nao had aways been there for her, she was the only person in Shizuru's life aside from Natsuki. No way in hell did she plan of loosing her, only friend...
''So how was it? Does it match with what you dreamt for the past five years? Is she everything you dreamed of? Or better yet don't answer. I don't think my stomach can stabilize itself and I sure wouldn't want to gag on our carpet.'' she acted as if she was about to throw up and then smiled, averted her gaze and fast yet elegantly threw herself off the table, now standing on the other side of the room close to the windows.
''Nao. You know me better than anybody else in this world-''
''Yes. Even better than her even. That's the irony.'' the red head cut her short. Her insides were boiling. Tonight was the night. Tonight Nao was going to break loose.
''I thought we had a deal.'' crimson eyes retorted.
''I welched. I'm a welcher. Didn't I tell you? ''
''No, what you told me was, we would forever be friends... in ups and downs... and take care of each other till one does not need so.''
''I lied. '' the red head shrugged.
''Ara, well you could've fooled me. ''
''And I did. ''
''Tell me Shizuru why are you doing this?'' a single brow was raised.
''What am I doing?'' Shizuru asked genuinely. Something was off. Of course she expected some hostility since Nao did hate Natsuki but there was something else and Shizuru had just began to feel it.
''This. You already have her. Your lifetime desire, hope... It's achieved. You don't need to explain me anything... Both of us knew this day would come. Sure you hoped, I dreaded but still that doesn't change the fact that whatever bond we have- sorry, had- is gone now. We were we because we were incomplete. And now that's not the case.''
''What will complete you?'' Shizuru asked quickly.
''Huh?'' Nao was taken aback.
''You said we were we because we were incomplete. What is missing in yours?'' now it was the latter's turn to raise a brow.
''Hah... Well, that my dear is somewhat more complicated. You see, you lived with the chance of your dreams coming true... and as long as you lived, mine would never come true.'' the smile never left Nao's face but Shizuru knew well the women in front of her felt nothing of a happiness.
''So you wish I were dead? Is that it? You certainly had many chance to fulfill your dream, and I certainly was in no shape to object. What stopped you?''
''...Because the moment I took your life... mine would loose it's meaning as well. And having a meaning however pathetic it may be is much better than not having one.''
At that moment Nao turned her back to stare out to the city, while Shizuru's crimson orbs widened with the revelation.
''Why didn't you ever tell me?'' Shizuru began to understand... A pang of guilt and pain stammered her chest. How could she be so blind.
''Why, would you come running to my arms Shizuru? Would you?'' Nao shifted her head to look at the brunette but her body stayed put.
''You know that I couldn't...'' she shook her head sideways under the intense green gaze.
''Then why should I have told you?'' the voice was calm. Just like the silence before thunderstorm.
''Because... Because she might be the one holding my heart, but you'll always be the one I trust the most, the only one who knew the worst in me, and accepted me as I am.'' The two woman stood locking eyes. Neither moved for couple moments, neither averted their gaze, until Nao broke contact and started walking towards the blond.
''Tell me, does she accept you Shizuru? The full you? But I guess she doesn't have to. She is worse than you anyways. Perhaps I should ask, do you accept her? Knowing she fucked hundreds. Knowing she hated you for five years. Knowing... Pretty fucking well you'll never have the trust you're talking about! Lovers like you only play Shizuru. You fucking act and play, one never shows their true face exactly because they are in love! They say 'I'm a better person with you!' Lies! Lovers are, just a mess of sadness and phobias covered in whip cream with a cherry on top. Nobody ever becomes a better person, they just master the art of acting to each other, to themselves without even realizing. And that my love, is why people say love is blind. With all the masks and phony acts even one does not realize, how can you see the person in front of you?'' there was a sly smile on the red head's face which didn't go unnoticed by the crimson.
''You're wrong.'' It was short. It was stern.
''I'm wrong? How so? Tell me haven't you already started acting like nothing has ever happened. As if this past five years had been erased to no importance and life just begun the moment you held each other? Aren't you going to act as if you didn't drown in misery and committed sins for the past five years? Isn't she going to erase all other women and anger in her life, working unconsciously never to submerge those feelings ever again? Isn't it lying Shizuru? Smiling for the one you cried for so long and perhaps to never cry again because you do not want to loose her?''
That was it. Shizuru might have been blind in noticing her friend's true feelings but Nao hadn't been all seeing either. How could she possibly think like this when she, herself was the one that changed everything in Shizuru.
''You are wrong Nao!'' The read head was taken aback by the force and intensity of the crimson in front of her.
'' And perhaps the belief you hold today is my fault. Yes it is true that I hold a mask to the outer world and the person you fell in love for was nothing but a mask, at first. And funny it may seem I owe everything to you. I am no child. I no longer dream for a happy ending, a prince charming. And you are right. If Natsuki were mine five years ago, I would as you said, act. I would suppress any feelings that would jeopardize my relationship with her. I would do anything to make her happy and consequently change into a person I, myself, won't recognize. I was miserable, lost, desperate and then you came into my life. I knew well the only reason you were with me at first was because you loved to see me suffer. You wanted to see me in despair. And you know what my sadistic self said? It said well at least I can make one person happy. But that changed didn't it Nao? I truly didn't know your inner feelings for you're a great actress yourself. But what I knew was the fact that you no longer wanted to see me cry. You were the one that gave me strength to scream to the world go fuck yourselves! You gave me the courage to face Natsuki. Facing her as the real me, without doubts without being scared without acts-''
Shizuru couldn't continue when a pair of lips crushed on her own. She looked at the face in front of her, so beautiful, so crushed, so wet from the tears streaming down. She closed her eyes and let the woman hold her as if her life depended on it. Her own arms found their way around the warm body, stroking the delicate trembling back. Shizuru kissed the red hair in front of her, with genuine feelings. One side pouring the love it held so long and the other receiving in gratitude.
Lips departed, foreheads collided, Nao looked up, her tears slowing down.
''Loving you was the greatest feeling I ever had... Followed abruptly by the worst feeling I ever had.''
''I'm sorry. Truly.'' and then she landed a small kiss on the bridge of the read head's nose. The other closed her eyes, yet smiled.
''I hate you Shizuru Fujino. Go find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.''
''Ara.. I'll make sure to save you a seat next to me.'' Both let out a small laughter.
''Just promise me something?'' Light green orbs showed themselves once again.
''Don't act to her. And don't ever let her act to you. And don't ever be like couples we saw in restaurants okay? The ones we always joked about... The dining dead.'' a small smiled appeared on both faces.
''And don't you dare forget me.''
''Now that's not even possible. I do love you Nao, and I do not want to loose you.''
''You already know you won't. We'll be okay... We'll definitely be okay.''
''As long as you'll be by my side I know I will. I do need a true friend to tell me the ugly truths you know.''
''And one that enjoys while telling you so?''
''You can't fool me anymore Yuuki. Stop playing the villain already.''
''See I knew I shouldn't tell you my feelings. No matter what I do now, I'll be perceived as a softie won't I?''
''To tell you the truth all your though acts and stuff, I never really believed it once.''
''Oh great lord! If you tell a soul Shizuru! I swear-''
''Hai hai, you're secret is safe with me.''
''Do get lost now will you.''
''Will do so. Dinner tomorrow?''
''What about the snowflake?''
''Ara, the right nickname. She is my girlfriend but you're my best friend. So what do you say?''
''Better choose an expensive one! I'm a high-maintenance girl Fujino.''
''Oh how could I ever forget that... See you tomorrow, I'll give you a call.''
And with that Shizuru left the hotel room. Nao walked to the light switch and turned it on. She had left the room in dark on purpose, her mind thought it looked more serious, more angst. She smiled to herself.
''You've watched too many gangster movies Yuuki.'' and then she looked back to the door the blond just walked out of. She placed her fingers on her lips.
''She walked out of your life Yuuki... into a better one... but into a better one with you. Phmff..Talk about falling for the wrong woman.'' She walked towards her cell phone, not letting go of her smile and punched a few numbers.
''Hey, I'm really sorry to disturb you at this hour. But would you perhaps like to meet me for a drink?''
her eyes widened. She smiled and hang up after couple of minutes. Even she couldn't recognize her own voice, this softness was lost or more like new to her. She smiled again, reached for her purse and walked to the door, glanced back once again,
''Good memories, good memories indeed... but better ones from now on.''
And she shut the door, walked out of the hotel.
The room stayed vacant for the next 4 weeks, until Nao and Shizuru came over one day to grab their stuff out. It was a sunny Sunday, Natsuki was waiting in the car impatiently and Nao made sure to irritate her furthermore before leaving the vehicle with Shizuru...