I'm Done With Everything

A/N: Warning this will have spoilers for Season 4 of Supernatural. This takes place after Metamorphosis. I'm hoping this will clear my writers block. This got inspired by a documentary I saw.

Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Kripke and the WB (or CW). Either way I'm not getting anything from this. Although I will gladly accept a gift wrap Sam and Dean Winchester.

Chapter 1: Done

All Sam could think about were the words his brother said to him. Not even the punches Dean threw hurt as much compared to what he said or the way he looked at him. Everything he had feared would happen when Dean learn the truth did. It may have gone smoother if he had revealed the truth but in the end Dean's reaction would have been the same. He knew how Dean would react just from thinking back to when Andy made Dean tell the truth. How much Dean was freaked out about what he could become.

Then the relief Dean showed when he said he was giving up his powers, like that would change everything. He still had the demon blood coursing through his veins, the powers simmering below the surface just waiting for something to trigger them.

It seem Sam could do nothing right. He failed in having a normal life when he went to college, he failed being a good son to his father, he failed in being a proper hunter with his questioning the need to kill, he failed in keeping his word and his biggest failure of all not keeping Dean out of hell.

Well he is going to put an end to it. He will not have failure of not becoming a monster added to his list of mistakes. He just had to be patient and wait for the right moment and Dean will be none the wiser. He doesn't want to leave Dean with the guilt or any more burdens then he already has. So with his decision firmly in place he begins to plan.

It is two weeks before he has the opportunity to put his plan in motion. Dean has gone home with the waitress from the bar. He now has the time to do what must be done. Calling Ruby she agrees to pick him up. While he waits for her to arrive he packs all of his belongings. He doesn't have to worry about removing anything from the Impala having taken care of that earlier. By the time Ruby arrives he is all packed. Double checking that he has the demon killing dagger, he grabs his stuff and gets into her car.

Ruby stares at Sam's duffle bag "Sam, why are you bringing your belongings?"

"I will be no longer hunting with Dean." Sam's face is emotionless but inside he is facing a raging torrent of emotions. He pulls out his phone staring at it for a second before shutting it off and removing the batteries. "So are we going to get going or are we going to sit here all day."

Ruby stares at Sam for a minute worry building inside her but Sam says nothing else and so she starts the car. As they drive off Sam throws his phone out the window. Ruby snatches glance at Sam as she drives, unable to get rid of the uneasy feeling she has developed. It has been a couple hours already and they have long past the city limits. Having had enough she pulls the car over to confront Sam. "Alright what the hell is going on?"

Sam says nothing at first but he then sighs and looks at Ruby. "Well as you are aware of Dean wasn't too pleased when he found out what I was doing. He told me that the angels said to him that if he doesn't stop me then they will. He also said that if he didn't know me that he would hunt me." Ruby stares as Sam's emotionless mask starts to crumble. "So I have decided to do what needs to be done. I'm not going to let myself become a monster. That's why I'm here, I needed you to fulfill the promise you made when I started using my powers."

Ruby's face of concern turns to horror. "No Sam there has to be another way."

"You promised Ruby and you know my feelings on this. Please don't back out now." Ruby stares at Sam's eyes already knowing that she was going to fulfill her word even if it breaks her heart.

"Alright Sam but you have to realize Dean is going to come looking for you."

"I know but he won't find me and I don't want you to reveal anything ether. He can never know the truth."

Ruby nods her head and starts the car again. They continue until reaching the next city. They pull over at abandoned looking warehouse. Grabbing his stuff Sam looks around until he spots an empty barrel and moves towards it. Placing his things inside the barrel Sam soaks his belongings with lighter fuel. Striking a match Sam sets his things on fire. He stands there watching the flames consume everything until there is nothing left. Once the last ember dies out he moves back to the car where Ruby is waiting.

Handing over an address he had looked up earlier Ruby starts up the car and heads to the next destination. Trepidation builds in Sam as they get closer. He is not sure he can go through with this but knows that it has to be done. When they pull up to there destination Sam can't help feeling a sense of relief, soon it will be all over.

Picking the locks on the doors takes but a second. Taking care of the alarm proves also to be no challenge and once inside Sam is happy to see that there are no security cameras to worry about. Looking around Sam finds the room he needs immediately. Turning to Ruby Sam hands over the demon killing knife, "So do you think you can handle all the equipment with no problem?"

"Of course, remember you had me learn ahead of time so I know what to do just in case you decide to have me keep that stupid promise," Ruby answer with a hint of annoyance but it quickly disappears. "There is still time to change your mind Sam," Ruby asks hopefully.

"No there isn't." Giving Ruby a sad smile, "I'm sorry to put this on you. Be sure to take care of yourself and continue being good. Also if you can somehow get the demon killing knife back to Dean with out him knowing."

Ruby leans into Sam kissing him passionately. As they kiss Ruby grips the knife tightly and in one swift move stabs Sam in the heart with it. Sam pulls back when the knife enters his heart. He gazes down on the knife but no sparks emanate from around the wound.

Ruby smiles ruefully, tears welling up in her eyes. "See you big idiot not a single spark. You are no monster." Ruby can see the relief in Sam's eyes at that last reassurance, before all the life from them vanishes and he dies.

Getting to work Ruby moves Sam body into the chamber. She seals the door shut and sets the furnace on. As she waits for Sam body to be cremated she breaks down and collapses on to the floor, letting out the tears she had been holding back. Before she knows it the furnace shuts down and with it comes the second worst thing she has to do right after having to kill Sam.

Opening the door to the furnace she stares at what remains: ash and bones. She sweeps out the remains from the furnace and places them in the sifter. Sifting it through until all the ash is gone. She then picks through the bones and removes any pieces of metal and teeth fillings. Taking the bones she places them in the grinder until they are dust. Combing the bone dust with the ash, she cleans up the place to look like nothing happened. Grabbing Sam's remains and checking she has not left anything behind Ruby leaves the crematorium.

Driving off Ruby goes to fulfill the last part of the promise. To scatter Sam's remains and leavening nothing of him behind that can be used to bring him back. As she stares at the sunrise she can only hope that he can finally have the peace that life seem to deny him.

A/N: So the documentary was on different methods people deal with the remains of the dead and what happens to the body after a person dies. I found most interesting the one where they turn the ash in to a crystal.