AN: my first Star Trek fic EVER lol and I have to say Kirk/Spock was never far from my mind, but with the last movie that came out it was the last straw and I had to do something. And can I just say Spock now is just ridiculously hot lol loved him before but now its just silly.

Disclaimer: don't own Star Trek never will and it might just be for the best anyway xD

Warning: and if you didn't see it before yes this is Kirk/Spock fic slashy tendencies will soon follow, not saying there isn't any in this first chapter. But if K/S slash isn't what you want then by all mean go back the way you came. ;p oh and not beta'd don't have one and i really don't think i will be getting one sadly *never really seems to work out*, but by all mean see something blatantly wrong just tell me and I'll fix it. Well that should do it so enjoy... hopefully.


-almost a year after the Nero incident-



Ghosts and whispers, and overwhelming feeling woke Kirk from his sleep with a gasp, taking slow breaths he held his face in his hands. It was getting worse, ever since he had that encounter with the older Spock, and that mind transfer thing he did. He had been having strange dreams, it wasn't all that troublesome in the beginning, but after a few months it was becoming more frequent. And now it was starting to interfere with his sleeping. Jim got out of his bed and headed to the sink in his quarters splashing water on his face. He tried to remember the dreams, but it was no use he never could recall them, and only a few words stuck in his mind.

This was getting ridiculous if this kept up he'd have to go to Bones and get something to make him sleep, but then again McCoy wouldn't give him anything unless Jim told him why. Some how telling the doctor that he was having dreams of a life he didn't even know didn't seem all that helpful, Bones would probably confine him to sickbay for some mental disorder. Sighing he looked for the time, letting out a groan it was 04:00 he had to be to the bridge in an hour. It seemed to be as good a time as any to get the day started. After Kirk finished getting ready he went to the mess hall to grab a quick bite, and headed to the bridge. When the doors opened to the bridge he the night crew still on.

"Well, good morning everyone," the captain greeted the small staff heading to his chair.

"You're a little early aren't you Captain?" Spock asked moving from his station to the captain's side.

"I could ask you the same thing Spock, or are you always on duty this early?" Kirk asked smirking as he looked over the reports for the night.

"Isn't it considered rude to answer a question with a question?" Spock said flatly.

"And you just asked another one," Kirk looked to his first officer with a smirk.

Spock just exhaled a little harder then necessary, "It appears so."

After Spock gave a some more details to other reports he had gotten from the night crew, and Kirk finished going over the ones he had when he got on deck. The rest of the morning went by with out much incident, but by the after noon Jim's mind was starting to wander. He started to hear whispers, soft words of conversations he felt he should know but he couldn't make out what they were saying. It wasn't frightening to him, it was more frustrating then anything. His dreams were now following him into his waking hours holding. Rubbing his face in his hand he tried to block out the dull noise, and he didn't realize anyone was trying to talk to him till Spock grabbed his shoulder.

"Yes Mr. Spock?" Kirk said quickly acting normal.

"Captain, I know it's not my place,"Jim couldn't help but grin when he saw how uncomfortable the Vulcan looked, "is there anything troubling you?"

"No, there isn't," Kirk stood, "I'm going to go see Bones, I'll be back shortly. The Bridge is yours Mr. Spock." the young man stood heading to the turbo lift.

The first officer looked around for a second, "Mr. Sulu the bridge is yours maintain course."

He followed after the captain in to the lift standing stiffly as ever next to the captain not completely sure why he followed at all.

"I do know where the sickbay is Spock," Kirk grinned hitting the display for the right deck.

"I'm sure you do," was the short reply.

"Fine if you wanna follow me might as well it concerns you anyway," Jim continued waiting for the lift to stop, Spock just looked at the other man raising an eyebrow.

When the pair got to sickbay they found McCoy arguing with one of the crew members, something about 'just taking the damn shot' "Bones," Kirk called getting the other mans attention, "When you have a minute." Jim and Spock went int the small area that counted as McCoy's office.

"Is there something wrong with you captain?" Spock couldn't help but ask again.

"Eh, just wait for Bones," Kirk waved looking at a picture on the wall.

When the doctor finally came in he was still grumbling under his breath, and threw a confused look to Spock then looked to the captain "What is it Jim?"

"I'm kinda hearing things," Kirk said off handedly turning to the two officers.

"What do you mean, like voices?" Bones asked reaching for a scanner moving to the captain.

"I don't know I cant really make it out there are a few words here and there but nothing sticks," Kirk explained eyes watching McCoy's hand move around his head.

"When did this start?" Bones asked reading the scanner.

"Oh a while now, it didn't start till after I got left on that ice ball of a planet," Jim said looking pointedly at Spock.

The first officer frowned a little at that, "Well perhaps you shouldn't have attacked the security officers."

"God Jim you're hearing things why are you just acting like its nothing," McCoy snapped not finding anything on the scanner.

"Cause it didn't get bad till I started losing sleep over it, can you give me anything to help me sleep Bones," Kirk sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Yes, but I really would like to keep you here for more studies," McCoy said watching the captain knowing the man wouldn't stay for that, but felt he needed to say it anyway.

"We'll see, I'll come back before tonight. I want to see something first now that I think about it," Kirk turned to the other officer, "Spock, can I ask you to accompany me." the joking tone slipping slightly.

"Of course captain," the science officer agreed following after the captain.

Leaving Bones to shout out after them, "If you weren't going to take my advise why did you even bother coming down here."

Kirk led the way to his quarters with the first officer not far behind with out question. Once inside the outer rooms of the captains quarters they stood neither saying anything. "Was there something you wanted to say, Captain?" Spock said bringing the captain out of what ever thoughts he was lost in.

"Yes Spock, I was wondering if you could help me." Kirk said turning to face the other officer.

"If I can I will," the science officer said standing even more straight if possible.

"After I found your future counter part, and he touched me-" "Touched you?" Spock interrupted raising an eye brow, "Yes he put his hand here," Jim moved to replicate the action on Spock, but decided against it as it might be one step to far, "It wasn't long after that, that all this started happening," Kirk sighed signaling to his head, "He called it melding of minds or something like that."

"Why did he do that?" Spock actually looked shocked.

"I don't know he wanted to show me the events that led up to the Nero situation, but something is off I keep hearing things and having strange dreams." Kirk rubbed his forehead.

"He did a Vulcan Mind meld with you, and it sounds like some residual memories got past," Spock said matter-of-factly.

"Well why the hell would that happen, wouldn't you know how to do that right by that age," the captain snapped a little.

"Captain there isn't any logical reason for you to be shouting at me," the Vulcan said flatly.

"Well since this is kinda your fault," he couldn't help but smirk at the other man, "can you fix it?"

"I can but this isn't something to be done lightly," Spock informed moving closer.

"Yeah yeah emotional rub off or what ever," the captain waved off closing the distance to his first officer, "It couldn't be any worse then the first time."

"That is debatable," Spock said moving his hand up to the captains face positioning his fingers closing his eyes, "My mind to your thoughts to your thoughts..."

Kirk leaned into the touch listening to the even words, closing his eyes with a flash he could feel Spock in his mind seeing the information he was looking through to find his goal. Moving past the Nero implanted memories to find the more quiet elusive thoughts, the shadowy images. Feeling them out he grasped them, then with a bright flash everything exploded at them both. Disagreements, and fights they had, had in another life, amusing conversations joking even.

Another flash the broken images became clearer, touches, skin moving against each other knowing it wasn't the first nor the last. Whispers becoming words of rarely spoken love, and deep friendship with promises of more. With another flash the pain of a death, Spock's death to save the ship, then Kirk's own death and the pain of Spock's that he wasn't there with him.

The emotion became to much Spock pulled back and both men pushed apart as if burned. Kirk stumbled back against a desk breathing hard trying to regain some control wiping his eyes free from the tears. Spock just looked at his hand as if the appendage had done him some great wrong.

"Spock?" Kirk's voice horse as if he had been yelling for hours pulled the Vulcan from his thoughts looking up to the man letting a tear escape. Rubbing it away he just looked at the captain, "Jim?"