~ a/n: still not beta'd


Once the captain left the bridge, Uhura finished relaying the message to Star Fleet the communications officer grabbed a PADD and walked over to Spock's station. Holding the report out to the apparently oblivious Science officer till he took glancing it over and handed it back with out even looking to the Lieutenant, "I do not require this."

Uhura frowned a little,"I know that," she leaned closer the the Vulcan, taking a quick glance around the deck she whispered, "Are you going to turn me away again if I come by later?"

"This really isn't either the time nor place to be making such inquiries," was Spock's curt reply as he still studied the information from the station.

Uhura leaned forward putting her hand on the display finally gaining Spock's attention. He was going to tell her that he would prefer to be alone, but the flash of Jim breathless, flushed, and pinned against a wall went through his mind, "No."

Uhura flashed a smile moving her hand from the screen, "Great I'll see you when I get off duty."

Spock simply gave a small nod before turning back to his previous task pointedly not watching the Lieutenant walk back to her station as a strange sensation filled his stomach.

-

Jim couldn't help the agitated feeling that ran through him at the moment he had no idea what was going on between himself and his first officer, letting out a frustrated sigh as he entered the ships galley. Kirk settled on getting a cup of coffee hoping he could take a moment and sort his thought out before having to go the bridge again let alone face Spock again. Taking the cup he headed to a table in the back of the room away from the small groups of off duty personnel.

Running his thumb over the lip of the cup he just stared at the warm dark liquid frowning at himself as what it reminded him of. "This is stupid," he sighed rubbing his face leaning back into his seat.

Jim had lost track of time as he tried to redirect his uncooperative thoughts. Till Spock's voice called his attention requesting his presence on the bridge. Sighing he got up moving to the communication panel letting the bridge know he was on his way. Almost forgetting he was carrying the still full coffee swirling the cup a little gave prof that the liquid had stop giving off the comfortable warmth a long time ago. Pitching the cup and it's contents into the trash he headed out of the dinning area and made his way to the turbo lift.

Once the doors opened he couldn't help glare at the smiling doctor, "Fancy running into you here." Jim had a small second where he thought about taking the long way to the bridge. "I was just on my way to see you," McCoy smiled ignoring the behavior of the captain.

"And what do you need doctor?" Kirk couldn't keep the agitation out of his voice.

The lift doors opened Jim exiting quickly moving to his chair McCoy right behind him, "I wanted to take a look at that iscratch/i on your neck."

Kirk froze a split second eyes flashing straight for the turned back of the Vulcan noticing the obvious tensing of Spock's shoulders. Recovering quickly he sat down flashing McCoy a grin, "Oh Bones you know how it goes heat of the moment sort of thing,"

"I knew it, who is she?" the doctor excited that he had it right from the beginning.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Kirk couldn't stop the small laugh that followed.

"Was it that girl from that last planet we had to deliver supplies to last week," the doctor pondered the possibilities like it was some great mystery," No the marks are to new, oh that cute number from engineering?" Jim still said nothing and the fact that he knew Spock could hear everything was in a twisted way kinda fun, "Come on Jim, who was it?"

"Mr. Spock-," Kirk called for his Science officer who almost snapped the pen tool he was holding, "Was there a reason you called me up here?"

"You're really not going to tell me are you," the doctor complained.

Jim held his response till Spock handed him the report looking at Spock before answering, "No Bones, I'm not."

"Fine," McCoy surrendered leaning against the railing.

Spock only moved a few steps back but avoided any eyes contact with the captain, if Jim didn't know any better he could have sworn the Vulcan was flustered. With a small grin he turned to the report in hand the smirk fell looking back to Spock, "Is this right Spock?"

"Yes captain," the science officer actually looking back to the man.

"Alright, call Scotty have him meet us in the conference room," Kirk stood heading to the side entrance of the bride, "Come on Bones, Mr. Sulu." Before exiting he called out, "Chekov, hold it down."

-

As Mr. Scott entered the meeting began. "Alright so if you all haven't noticed we aren't heading to the Orion Station-"

"But captain, we really should be getting the systems check done," Scotty urged.

"I know, but its an order from Star fleet and besides it shouldn't be all that long," Kirk smiled.

"Depends on what you get us into," the engineer complained not completely under his breath.

"What ever it is I have complete faith in you," Jim said flippantly, "The point of this is to get you all informed on whats going on, Mr. Spock if you would."

As Kirk signaled to the Science officer immediately picked up the explanation, "After analyzing the data from the Orion Station, and from what our scans can now start picking up shows that Geisa VII is deteriorating," pulling up a display on the rooms screen, "There seems to be seismic activity all the way to the planets core, and at its present course the planet will die in 6 days 18.52 hours," Spock paused, "That is, only a projection from what I have gathered from our recent readings."

Kirk sighed turning to Sulu, "How much longer till we get the planet?"

"About 48 hours Sir," the navigator said quickly.

"Alright everyone dismissed," Jim ordered not moving as he watched the others head out, "Mr. Spock a word please."

Spock stiffened as he watched the back of McCoy disappear through the doors before turning to the man sitting, "Yes captain?"

"I want to make sure this assignment is alright with you," Kirk moved out from the chair moving around the table.

"I do not see how it would matter if it bothered me or not the mission is the mission there is no changing it," hands clasped behind his back as he still stood rooted, "Besides it is an opportunity to study a dying planet that can not be ignored."

The quiet stretched between them Kirk leaning against the conference table studying the Vulcan. Spock couldn't ignore the gaze that he could feel sweep over him and met the look with his own. He couldn't look away from the man as he noticed the slightly quicker breathing pattern the rapidly dilating pupils, and he most certainly didn't feel his own pulse rate pick up. Finally Spock found his voice, "Was there anything else, Captain?"

Kirk had a death grip on the edge of the table top to keep himself from moving, he answered in a hushed voice, "No."

"Then if you'll excuse me-" Spock began to turn but was spun back around.

"Can you not say the same thing every time you leave a room," Jim said frustration clear in his voice holding tight to Spock's arm. "I wasn't aware that-" "Shut up Spock," Jim moved close to the Vulcan, "Just be quiet."

Spock couldn't bring himself to move away but didn't reach out for the other either, they were so close that their breath mixed Spock tilted into the man their mouths only centimeters apart when he felt Jim shift to close the distance Spock turned his head screwing his eyes shut taking a step out of the man's hold. "I apologize captain," Spock's impassive look returned when he looked to the captain again, "I must return to my station."

Spock left the room quickly holding onto what was left of his control as he tried to not think of the wounded look of Jim's confused hurt blue eyes.

Jim stood stunned and alone in the conference room he didn't know why he moved, that was a lie he knew why. He saw Spock walking out of the room threating to leave him alone with his thoughts. In that quick moment he knew Spock had said it wasn't going to happen again and Kirk new that, he did but once he got close to the Vulcan something snapped and he was so close. He rubbed his lips feeling the burn of the almost kiss, he could feel the warmth in his hand from his hold on Spock's arm. Groaning he rubbed his face, he looked to see the time noticing that it was just a couple of hours before he would be off duty and free to just go to his quarter's.

-

What was rest of the day went by in a hazy fog, Kirk was only operating on auto-pilot signing what was ever put in front of him with out much thought. He knew Spock was on the bridge, but he could only managed the briefest of a look at his first officer's back all to aware of their distance. The whole confusion of the situation combined with the obvious lack of ability to communicate with each other was starting to aggravate Jim.

When the night shift came on quickly went over what he needed to before leaving the bridge. His destination was sickbay, more exactly Bones' liquor cabinet. McCoy barely saw the figure that went straight for his office, but knew it was Jim and if Jim was moving that fast there was an issue. The doctor followed the captain into his office in time to find him riffling through his desk drawers, "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah how do you get into that damn thing," Kirk snapped pointing to the offending frosted glass doors.

McCoy pulled a small card from his pocket showing it to Jim before swiping it over the lock, "Did we have a bad day?" Bones asked grabbing a bottle filled with a dark green liquid, and two small cups.

"I don't want to talk about it," Jim rubbed the back of his neck trying to get rid of some tension.

Bones put the half filled cup down in front of the captain, "Drink that it'll make you feel better," Kirk grabbed the cup studying the liquid frowning at the doctor, "Is there something the mater with it?"

"No," Jim huffed downing half the liquid, hissing as the burn went down his throat and hit his stomach.

McCoy raised an eyebrow taking his own cup and sitting across from the captain, "Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

Kirk just shook his head watching the swirling liquid in the cup as he tipped it back and forth. Bones just sat there taking a sip from his cup just watching the other man, if Jim wanted to talk he would and he'd sit there and wait all night if he had to.

-

Spock sat in front of his computer ready to send a message to New Vulcan, but he couldn't bring himself to actually bring up what was happening between himself and the captain. In steed he asked about the progression of the colony and if there was any problems. As he sent the message he couldn't help but feel disappointed with himself there wasn't any logical reason why he couldn't question his future counterpart, but he didn't send another message either.

Still sitting in his chair he had tried meditating a few times, but after the third attempt it seemed rather futile. So now he sat thinking and staring at nothing of great importance trying to at lest busy his mind with equations. Beeping pulled Spock from his thoughts, and he remembered that Nyota was suppose to be stopping by. He moved to answer the door hesitating for a moment still not wanting company, but he had already said she could turning her away now would be considered rude.

"Greetings lieutenant," Spock said stiffly moving aside letting the woman past.

"Hello Spock," Nyota smiled entering the room sitting on the small sofa.

Spock followed sitting next to her. Nyota tried to engage him into some conversation, but was only giving short comments. Sighing she looked around the room noticing wall decorations she's seen before but still enjoyed looking over till her eyes landed on the lyre sitting on a low shelf. Getting up and moving over picking up the instrument turning to Spock, "Would you play something for me?"

"If it would please you," came the flat response, as Uhura walked back over to the sofa handing the instrument over, "Is there anything in particular you would like to hear?"

"No whatever comes to mind will be fine," she leaned back eyes locked on Spock as he positioned himself at eh edge of the seat adjusting his hold on the lyre.

Spock took a second closed his eyes and began to play, as the soft notes filled the room his thought drifted to Jim. He couldn't deny what it all was, they had become friends in the past year. True he was feeling something stronger then friendship for the man but the reality of it was he was with Uhura, and the fact that Jim was only having these 'out bursts' was obviously just because of the transfer. Once the effects wore off Jim would no doubt behave as he always had. He ignored the tightening in his chest, thinking it had nothing to do with the thought of Jim leaving him alone and begin chasing after the female populous once again. There was no way that the memories could have been real, they could have just been wishful thinking. Though he couldn't explain why he would have such illogical thoughts that would manifest so deeply. Looking to Nyota as she watched him play she was smart, lovely, and a logical choice. Then why did he not feel the need to be with her? As he finished the song he let the last note carry then put the instrument down turning back to the woman. "Was that satisfactory?"

"It was lovely," She smiled leaning into the Vulcan.

Spock let her get closer ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, as her lips pressed against his, he was slow to respond. She made up for the lack of response pulling Spock down over her, her tongue making shy passes over his lips. Spock tried to put forth more into the kiss meeting her tongue with his own causing her to moan. She pulled at his shoulders but the touch was off to him it was soft, her body was softer it all seemed wrong. As a thought of another time him and Jim in this position bodies pressed against each other as if to occupy the same space, and hand holding tight to where there was no thought of trying to move away. Lips meeting in quick hot passes teeth hitting at odd times, and Spock bitting at Jim's bottom lip pulling moans from the man and ,"Spock stop!"

Opening his eyes quickly he realized his error catching himself as he stood far to quickly. Uhura pulled herself up panting for breath rubbing her lip, looking at him as if he was possessed.

"What was that Spock?" Nyota snapped.

"I apologize Nyota," he couldn't look her in the eye, and the only thought was that in his mind was that he had thought she was Jim, "I do not know what came over me." the guilt began to well up in him that he had wished it was Jim, and that split second of disappointment when he saw it was Nyota.

She stood looking at him, aware that he wasn't meeting her gaze, "It's fine." They stood in silence Uhura not sure of what to say, and Spock not wanting to speak at all. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night," she moved for the door Spock walked her out, "Goodnight Spock."

"Sleep well Nyota," Spock said in a even voice still not looking to her.

As she walked down the corridor, Spock went into his rooms and began to meditate, the feelings of guilt were pressing on him far to hard for him to cope with by himself.

-

After two hours of sitting in the doctor's office and five drinks of that same green liquor, Jim was half asleep on McCoy's desk head pillowed on the crook of his arm eyes still focused on the liquid. "Bones," Jim's said in a slow hushed tone.

"Yes," McCoy answered.

"I have a problem," Jim took a quick look at his friend, "I think I'm falling for someone."

Bones focused on his friend, "Anyone I know?"

"Spock," the name came out just above a whisper.

McCoy downed the rest of his drink, "Well damn."

-

-tbc

A/N: yes I know I suck hard core, but I have major ADD sometimes lol and plus the whole hand thing, and I couldn't seem to find any time to write (2yr old aren't vary cooperative) yes I know all excuses I know but I think I figured something out that might make updating a little more frequent. I hope I haven't completely alienated to many of you by my obvious update deficiency.

So hope you like and see ya next ^.^