This was written by me (Rebecca).


I giggled happily and spun around in little circles in front of the mirror. I hugged by clothes close to me. I was wearing white pants, a white t-shirt, and a white button up top that was undone. I looked exactly like Near, but without the hair.

"Why does she have to be an otaku?" Ian moaned and banged his head on the table repeatedly.

"It does make things interesting around here, though," Envy said placing a hand on his hip.

Ian slammed his head back on the table. "I'm stuck with an otaku, an albino, and a cross gender palm tree. Why couldn't the one that owns me be normal?"

"Would you rather be with Frankie?" Envy asked, both hands on his hips and leaning towards Ian, getting right in his face.

Ian sat up and waved his hands in front of his face that was paler than before. "No, I'm fine here."

Envy laughed, leaning away from the vampire. "I thought so."

I started looking under the couches and tables for the object I needed to make my cosplay complete.

"Rebecca," Envy said. "What are you looking for?"

I looked up and saw Envy and Ian staring at me. I looked back down and started flipping up couch cushions and looking under them.

"Near," I said.

"You're looking for near?" Ian asked confused.

"Not near, Near," I said. Ian was still confused. "The person!"

"Ohh! I didn't know he was back."

"I think he's up in his room," Envy said.

I looked up at him and smiled. "Thanks, Envy." I walked towards the stairs and stopped halfway there. I turned back towards him. "Do you happen to have a pair of scissors?"

"Here," Envy said and handed me a pair. "What do you need them for," he asked as I walked upstairs.

"I still need a wig for my cosplay. I'm gonna use Near's hair, so it looks authentic."

"Did I just make a huge mistake by telling Rebecca where Near was and giving her a pair of scissors?" Envy asked.

"Hello, Near," I said. Envy and Ian could hear me from downstairs.

"Hi, Rebecca." He looked at my clothes and started backing up. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm missing a wig for my cosplay. Could I borrow your hair?" I asked and pulled out my scissors from behind my back. I lunged at Near, but he ducked under my hand and out the door. He ran past Envy and Ian and out the front door with me following.

"Yes," Ian said, "you just made a huge mistake."

I chased Near down the street. He was heading towards Frankie's secret clubhouse located behind my old elementary school.

Unfortunately for us, it was a Wednesday and it was also lunch time recess for grades three through five.

The teachers on recess duty were all staring at Near as he ran under the gates from the back parking lot with me following a little ways behind him with a pair of scissors in my hand. We must've looked like quite the pair. Completely white clothes that look strangely similar, one with bleach white hair and the other chasing him with red hair and scissors.

"Near!" I yelled. He ran into the small field behind the school towards the entrance tree to the clubhouse. "Come back!"

"Get away from me!" Near shouted back and ran through the soccer game that was going on in the field.

"No! I need a wig for my cosplay!"

Near reached the tree and climbed in, the door closing behind him. The kids that were standing around the tree looked at it in wonder.

Frankie recently changed the passcode and I didn't know it yet. Near must've found out from Mello.

I banged on the trunk of the tree with my fist. The teachers were quickly catching up to where I was.

"Frankie! Open up!" I yelled. "I need to get to Near before he gets too far!"

"Okay, okay!" Frankie yelled from inside her clubhouse. "I'm coming!" The kids back up from the ominous and creepy voice coming from the tree. Frankie opened the door and I pushed past her into the clubhouse.

"You really have to fix that speaker system, it sounds really creepy."

"Why do you think I do it?" Frankie asked. "Near went towards the fireplaces."

"Thanks," I said and ran full speed towards the room with at least ten fireplaces in it.

There was one fireplace that still had green flames in it. I stepped onto the fire and was immediately pulled to wherever Near was.

It was dark with swirly lights that spun around me as I made my way to my destination. I dropped onto the damp floor and looked around. It looked like I was in some sort of circular room with no door or windows. I looked up and saw a bright light. It wasn't really white per say, but a murky yellow that could only come from candles.

I reached my hand up and gasped when I could grab onto the edge of the hole of light. I pulled my head out of the hole and used my other hand to push myself up and out.

I tumbled out and onto the dirty floor. I looked back towards what I came out of and saw that it was a cauldron of some sort and there was a bunch of kids staring at me.

"What is the meaning of this?" a voice asked from behind me. I turned around and saw Professor Snape glaring at me.

I stood up and brushed dirt off my pants. "I'm just chasing Near," I told him. "Did you see which way he went?"

"Who?" someone else in the room asked.

I turned towards them. "White hair, same clothes as me."

"He went that way," a girl said and pointed towards the door.

I picked up my scissors and ran out the door. "Thanks," I shouted back to the Potions class.

I saw him turning on the spot in the entrance hall trying to figure out which way to go.

"Oh, Ne~ar!" I sang. He spun around, his eyes wide.

"Get away from me," he said, backing up a few steps.

"Don't be like that," I said and started running towards him to grab him.

He felt the wall behind him, finally grasping the door knob that lead into another classroom. He pushed it open and ran it, shutting the door firmly behind him. He had his back to the door and he was breathing heavily.

I ran into the door with all my might, trying to open it again.

"Near!" I yelled, banging on the door. "You can't hide from me forever. I know you're in that room and that there's no other exit! Now come out and we can do this the easy way!"

"Go away!" Near yelled back.

"Excuse me," Professor McGonagall said to Near.

Near looked up and had to press his weight more firmly to the door to keep me from barging in.

"I'm sorry for this," he said to her. "I've been running from Rebecca for a while now and she chased me out of my room at home. I ran towards Frankie's underground clubhouse hidden behind the tree and jumped in the first fireplace in the teleport room that's next to the room that has the mountain of paper plates and then I came out of some kids' cauldron down in the dungeon." He paused. "I didn't realize how crazy that sounds until right now," he mumbled to himself.

McGonagall walked towards Near. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said and pulled the door open.

"No don't!" Near said, but it was too late. I burst into the room brandishing the scissors.

"Near, stop running," I cooed. "It'll be much less painful if you just stop running."

"Never!" Near shouted and ran back out the door before I could jump him. I followed him out the main doors and towards the forest.

He ran in and I almost followed him, but just as I was about to step into the forest he burst out ten yards away from me on the back of a giant spider. I could only stare.

"Go get her, boy!" Near yelled, jumping off the back of the giant spider and sat on the ground with a giant lego house around him.

The spider came at me and I screamed. I ran in the opposite direction, but the spider was faster. I guess eight legs were faster than two.

The spider caught up to me and the front two legs grabbed me around the waist and hugged me. I couldn't breath.

Near watched as Rebecca turned blue, and then very pale. The spider dropped her and poked her once before walking away.

Near stood up and padded over to her and felt for a pulse. Nothing.

"Kuso," Near said. He picked up a lego shovel that he made last week. He had this feeling that he would need it. He was right.

Near dug a hole in the ground and pushed Rebecca's body in and covered it back up. He walked away from the freshly made grave with dirt covering the majority of his clothes and hair.

Near walked into the house and placed his shovel on the ground.

"Oi, Near!" Envy said, walking into the living room.

Near stopped and looked at the homunculi.

"Where's Rebecca?" Envy asked.

Near looked away and started padding up the stairs.

"What was that about?" Ian asked.

"I don't know. Any idea why he was covered in dirt?"

"There was a grave digging party for zombies at the cemetery. Maybe he was there."

"You're probably right," Envy said, walking back into the kitchen. "I only hope she gets home soon. The chocolate parfait she's baking smells burnt to me."


Haha, I killed myself off XD C/O list:
Near: Death Note (my hubby #3)
Ian: Love at Stake series (my hubby #1)
Envy: Fullmetal Alchemist (my hubby #2)
Frankie: if you need an explanation for her, then you've been living under a rock
Mello: Death Note (Frankie hubby #1)
Professor Snape/McGonagall: Harry Potter
Giant spider: Harry Potter…its just a lot more tame XD
Chocolate parfait: according to Wikipedia, Envy likes them XXD

Until next week faithful reader…that should be plural shouldn't it? I mean, I have two readers…Frankie and Recia XD. I need more TT_____TT Next week, Will the Real Father Please Stand Up?