This wonderful tidbit is written by me, Rebecca.
I was sitting at my desk in English writing the answer to a question on my test. Envy, Near, and Ian were sitting in front on me. They were all on the floor around my desk. Envy was leaning on my desk, sitting on his knees. His head was onto of his clasped hands and he was staring intently at my test. Near was sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with little finger puppets that looked like himself, Mello, L, Misa, Kira, and many others along with a stuffed bear I got him for Christmas. Ian was drinking some bottled blood out of a water bottle. He was leaning up against Miss Riva's desk. He wasn't much of a morning person.
"That answer is wrong," Envy whispered to me. I ignored him.
"How would you know if an answer was wrong or not?" Near asked.
Envy glared at Near and blue light engulfed his frame. He seemed to disappear, but he was actually a small fly.
"You can't do anything right. Mello has always been better then you. He always will be and he always got higher test scores then you. He just didn't want to humiliate you by always getting the top score and you always getting the second highest. You couldn't even beat L. You will never surpass the 'greatest detective'! No matter how much you try. Mello was so much smarter then you and he will always beat you," Envy taunted into his ear.
Near leapt up. "YEAH! WELL, THEN HOW DID I ALWAYS GET HIGHER SCORES THEN HIM, HUH?" Near yelled. Everyone was staring at him. He was normally quiet and he didn't get mad easily.
Envy changed back to himself. "It was a fluke!" Envy shouted back.
"Every single time?" Near asked.
"Shut up, ye idiots," Ian said. "I oughtta skewer the both of ye."
"I can't die," Envy told the vampire.
"And I have to finish the Kira case," Near told him.
"We all know that Light did it. It's so obvious, it's hard to believe that you haven't caught him yet," Envy said.
"Only a few more months until the end. I have already bought the warehouse," Near explained.
"Then why not do it now?" Ian asked. "Unlike ye, I wan the war I'm in to be over. It would make everythin much easier." He drank from his water bottle. I had a feeling that he was drinking Blissky and not just regular synthetic blood.
"I'm not in a war, I'm in a battle of wits," Near said. "Envy is the one in the war."
"Hey!" Envy exclaimed. "I'm not in it; I was what helped cause it!"
I tuned them out and went back to my test. This would go on for hours and it would be very hard to stop them.
"Rebecca," Miss Riva said. I looked up at her.
"Who are these people?"
"Well," I said, "the one in the white is Near, the one that looks like a palm tree is Envy, and the one that is wearing a kilt is Ian. They're my husbands."
"Right. Is there a way to make them stop?" she asked.
"No, not really," I replied.
"Can we put them into a corner, so they're at least not in the front of the room?"
"That wouldn't be such a good idea. They will try and kill each other if I can't see them. Ian has a claymore stuck to his back; Envy can't really die, so he just gets cut up a lot, and Near most likely has at least a knife or something in one of his toys."
Miss Riva was about to respond when the door banged open, which was really hard to do, since the door opened outward to the hallway.
"Envy!" Ed yelled.
"What do you want, pipsqueak?" Envy asked, turning away from his fight with Near and Ian.
Ed transformed his arm into a blade and charged at Envy across the small room. Envy jumped out of the way and Ed charged again.
"STOP!" I shouted, standing up and slamming my hands onto my desk. I walked over to them. I pointed at Ed, "Who do you belong to?"
"Muto," Ed said.
I sighed. Her Ed was always more violent. "Since, this fight is inevitable, take it outside, and no permanent damage to either of you. I don't want Muto to come after me again."
"Okay," Envy said and jumped out the open window. Ed followed right behind him. I sighed and sat back down.
Ian's cell phone rang. "Are ye sure?" Ian asked. He paused. "I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and dropped it back into his sporran. "Toni is gonna have the baby!" he cried happily and teleported to her side.
I narrowed my eyes at the spot he just vacated. That damn bitch, I hate her.
"Are you okay, Rebecca?" Near asked me, sitting back down in front of my desk with his toys.
"Yeah, Near, I'm fine," I told the young detective.
The bell rang and I turned in my test as Near packed up his toys into the small bag I bought him.
We walked into the hallway and towards French class.
"Oh, my, God!" some random girl said. "It's the White Child," the girl said pointing to Near. She was backing away slowly. "Mikami was right. I have to go tell him!" She ran away down the hallway at top speed.
"What was that about?" Near asked.
"I have no idea. Come on, Near. We have to get to French class."
Thus concludes this adventure. Character and object list:
Ian: Love at Stake series by Kerrelyn Sparks. An actual book, not a manga. He's Scottish.
Envy: FullMetal Alchemist
Near: Death Note
Miss Riva: My English teacher
Toni (Daytona): Love at Stake series. Ian's wife in the books.
Ed (Edward Elric): FullMetal Alchemist
Mello: Death Note
Sporran: Scottish purse type thing.
Mikami: Death Note
Blissky: Synthetic blood and whisky mixed together
Claymore: giant sword
Muto: my friend…she likes Ed
L, Misa, Kira: Death Note
"White Child": From Fighting Dreamers on youtube. Their video, Mikami's crap.