Ahahahah I AM BACK! Long time no see. Well, this story is actually written by someone new and I involved her in a couple of my stories.
This is written by Recia.
How to Make a Baby
Step 1: The male, after frequently rubbing his hands together for thirty (30) seconds, smacks his left hand against the woman's belly while screaming the word, "BABY!" For twins, he uses both hands.
Step 2: The male and female must go out in a field (or other empty space outside) and do a rain dance while chanting gibberish words. Please note: Do not wait outside for rain.
Step 3: The stork goes to a Toys 'R' Us and purchases a baby doll that looks like the father so that he does not suspect anything. Please note: You cannot bribe or leave a note for the stork requesting the gender of your child.
Step 4: That night, if the stork is not busy, he visits the couple. While they are sleeping, he rips open the woman's throat. Please note: This is painless, yet extremely bloody. He then shoves the toy baby doll down the mother's throat.
Step 5: The stork sews the woman's throat shut with some of his feathers. If you do not believe me, check your mother's throat. You will see feathers. If you do not, you were adopted…or she is an alien.
Step 6: The mother eats a lot of processed food, so do not worry, this is perfectly normal, but men, I do have to warn you, she gets mood swings and gains some weight (gets fat). After all this, the baby doll becomes real! Kind of like Pinocchio but less dramatic.
Step 7: Nine months later, a baby pops out!
Frequently asked questions
Q: Does it work with two girls?
A: Not unless the woman is EXTREMELY masculine.
Q: What happens if this method is done to someone that is already pregnant?
A: The baby will die.
Q: Can vampires use this method?
A: No, they have to have sex.
Nothing here, it was just so crazy that it needed to be shared with the world XD
The sad part is (like it always seems to be) that this was a real conversation the other day lol
Until next time,
Rebecca aka Lord Rebecca-Sama