This is written by me (Rebecca). Again, sadly most is an actual conversation over facebook, but to be honest, it could happen in real life. XD


"Alright everyone, settle down, settle down," I said as I walked in the conference room in the clubhouse.

There was a bit of fighting over who would get the seats at the hexagon table, but after three people were injured and Gilbert appeared in a seat and smiled at the people fighting, they stopped, shuddered and quickly found their seats or stood near the wall as far as they could from Gilbert Ikah.

"Now, everyone," I said, "I bet you want to know why we are gathered here today." Sounds of agreement traveled through the crowd. "I have put all your names into a hat and pulled out seven that will be on my Zombie Apocalypse Team. I will tell you who you are now and I want to make sure we are all comfortable around each other before the end of humanity. Also, if I don't call your name, could you please get the fuck out. Thank you. Now—"

"Get on with it!" Tim the Enchanter said.

I threw a brick at his head. "I was if you would give me a damn minute to get my notes straight. Now, as I was saying, my sidekick would be Jessica."

"Wahoo!" she cheered.

"My heavy weapons person will be Recia."

Recia smiled a very dorky smile. "I get to use weapons!" I facepalmed.

"Lucky Recia," Miranda said and started to tear up.

I ignored them. "The idiot that survives is Brendon."

"Yes," he said.

"My sniper is Emi."

She started to giggle uncontrollably.

"Miranda is the one that loses it."

"Lose it how?" she asked.

"Himani is the brains." She liked this. "And the first to die is" Everyone leaned in close. "Frankie." I gathered my notes back into a pile. "Okay, if I didn't call your name get out of the clubhouse or I'll have Brute Splicers escort you out.

The rest of the people started grumbling as they made their way out of the single set of double doors behind my seat. Gilbert smiled again and faded from existence back wherever he lives. I knew I should've put zebra pelts along the walls. Frankie did say it was a good investment.

"You know," I said to the remaining seven people in the room. "This doesn't work. Frankie would be the sole survivor, and well, Miranda makes sense."

Frankie stood up on her chair and put a foot on the table, pointing her finger straight at me. "I would live forever! I would wear their skin as pajamas!"

I stared at my crazy teammate. "I think you would get eaten while you are stripping the skin off of the zombies, but then again, they my not smell you if you are wearing their skin."

"I would get to skin zombies?" Miranda asked. "Awesome!"

"Yes, Miranda, you and Frankie both would."

R-Dizzle popped down from the vent in the ceiling. "Zombies!"

I sighed. "Yes, zombies." She giggled and went back up into the vent. I pushed the button on my desk. "Security, there is an unauthorized person in the air vents. Make sure she doesn't hurt herself."

Miranda stood up and slammed her hands onto the table. "Frankie, let's have matching pjs!"

My eyes widened at her statement. "I'm terrified of both of you now."

She turned towards me. "Becca, I want a matching pjs set with you too."

"As long as I don't have to skin my own zombies…"

Miranda looked around and then turned back to me with a creepy smile on her face. "You want pink or red or green pjs?"

"How do you make green out of zombie skin—wait, never mind." It's probably moldy or something. "I think I would like pink because it will still be semi-human colored…"

Miranda started laughing. "Pink is insides, red is BLOOD, and green is skin." She smiled innocently.

"…I was thinking, green is rotting skin, red is bloody skin, and pink is newly turned zombie skin."

"I say we invest in some Combustible Lemons," Brendon said.

"What are Combustible Lemons?" Recia asked.

Frankie slammed her hands onto the table causing the vase of flowers in the center to fall over and shatter.

"Only the greatest invention ever! They can burn Life's house down!"


"Our mascot should be a panda," Emi said.

"Gilbert will be mascot," Gilbert said, fading back into the room.

"Ahh!" Frankie and I screamed.

"Get out of here, Gilbert!" I said. "You're not part of the team."

He smiled wider and laughed deeply as he faded away. When he was gone completely I pushed the call button on my desk.

"Frankie!" I barked. Frankie sat back down in her chair and pushed the call button in front of her.

"Yes, Lord Rebecca-Sama?"

I pushed the button to call back to her. "Install the zebra pelts around the room."

"Yes, sir!" She saluted me and jumped into her green cardboard box to complete the task.

"Why did you guys just talk over an intercom system if you were in the same room?" Recia asked.

I looked up from my papers and stared at her. "Official Hexagon Village business. Team meeting dismissed." I pushed the button on the table again and the rest of my team disappeared into holes in the ceiling that lead back to the surface.

"Lord Rebecca-Sama, we have a problem," Frankie said through the intercom.


"Gilbert is circling the petting zoo."

I sighed and stood up, leaving to help her. "I'll be there in a minute. Kill all the zebras and use their pelts to line the conference room."

"Yes, sir!"

The End.

So, the conversation that took place on facebook ended with me saying what the colors of skin meant. No one commented after that. So, I had to invent an ending. Gilbert scares the shit outta me. He's on facebook and probably more than willing to become your friend. Gilbert Ikah, look him up. Scary as shit.

C/O list:
Gilbert Ikah – Frankie and Robby invented him. He. Is. Real. No joke O.o
Frankie, Emi, Jessica, Brendon, Recia, R-Dizzle, Himani – friends in real life
Combustible Lemons – Portal 2
Hexagon Village – my village
Tim the Enchanter – Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Brute Splicers – Bioshock 2

Until next time,
aka Lord Rebecca-Sama