This one-shot has been written by me (Rebecca).

Mello Gets Kidnapped

"Rebecca, have you seen Mello? He didn't come home yet with the ice cream," Frankie asked me over the phone.

"Well, he might just be stuck in traffic again," I said to her.

"Yeah, I guess. But normally he calls." Evil laughter floated up from the basement. I sighed.

"Or Envy kidnapped him."

"HE WHAT?!" Frankie exclaimed. "Envy knows not to mess with Mello's schedule. If his schedule gets messed up even a little bit he gets fussy and last time I had to put him into therapy for a month. It wasn't a pleasant time."

I sighed and stood up. "I'll send him home."

"Thank you."

"Yep, bye."

"Bye," she said and hung up. I set my phone down next to my laptop and walked down the basement steps.

Envy was crouched in front of the phone booth in the basement dangling a chocolate bar over his head in front of Mello who was following the sugary treat with his eyes.

"Envy!" I said.

"Oh, shit," he said, dropping the chocolate bar and whirling around to face me.

The edge of the phone booth opened and Mello grabbed the chocolate bar between two fingers and dragged it towards him. Envy turned around at the sound and tried to get the chocolate back, but Mello pulled it into the booth and shut the door quickly. He ripped off the top of the wrapping and bit off a corner.

Envy sighed. "Look what you made me do."

"What did me and Frankie tell you about kidnapping Mello?

"What if that's not really Mello?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Then who is it?" I asked, playing along with his game.

He looked down at his feet. "Uh…Tohru."

I nodded. "Right, Tohru. AS in Tohru Honda?" Envy nodded. "Explain to me how that's possible."

"Um…she's cosplaying."

I crossed my arms and stared at Envy. Did he seriously expect me to believe this story? "There's a couple things wrong with your cosplay theory."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" Envy asked.

"Like for one, Tohru has boobs and the person sitting in the corner there does not."

"It's called wrapping!"

"And two," I said, ignoring him. "I'm pretty sure that Tohru isn't so obsessed with chocolate to buy triple chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks and fudge mixed in."

"How would you know?" Envy asked. "She could be pregnant and have a craving for chocolate!"

I sweatdropped. "I highly doubt it."

"You never know," Envy grumbled. I sighed. He would never learn.

I looked at Mello huddled in the corner of the phone booth. He had pulled the ice cream out of the bag and was licking the chocolate off the top of the lid. The chocolate bar wrapper lay discarded on the floor.

"Mello!" I snapped. He looked up, ice cream covering his mouth.

"What?" he asked.

I grabbed Envy while he was distracted and handcuffed him to a pole that held up the house.

"Hey!" He struggled to get loose, but the handcuffs were made to fit snugly around his wrist no matter what he turned into.

I opened the phone booth and pointed up the stairs. "Go home." He got up and walked past me—the ice cream safely back in the plastic bag. Hopefully it would stay there until he got back to Frankie.

"And you," I said. Envy stopped struggling and looked up at me. "You're going to stay down here until I feel like taking that off."

"But Rebecca—!" I flipped the light off and went back to my computer.

A few hours later while I was playing Minesweeper on my laptop, I heard a noise in the basement.

"…becca! Rebecca!" I sighed and waded up a piece of paper and walked over to the stairs. I threw the wad down the steps.

"Ow!" Envy exclaimed. "What was that for?"

"Shut up and eat that!" I told him. I turned around and left him alone.

Down in the basement, shrouded in shadow, Envy was pulling the paper apart into small pieces with his fingers. A small pile was forming at his feet.

Envy sighed. "If I didn't love her so much, I would kill her."


Well, I know for a fact that Frankie has some revenge in mind. The C/O list:
Mello: Death Note
Envy: FullMetal Alchemist
Frankie: my cracked up friend
Rebecca: me obviously
Ice cream flavor: as far as I know, I made that up.
Phone booth: there really is a phone booth in the basement of my grandma's house. Any of my friends can tell u it's true.

Next week: Al's Secret and Death The Kid's Obsession Part Uno!