Written entirely by Frankie.

Al's Secret and Death the Kid's Obsession Part Uno

"This is for your own good, Frankie!" Death the Kid franticly chases me around the HF Bio Pond with Liz and Patty on his tail. Patty carries a pair of scissors and Liz with a laser. All four of us are dressed in the regulated HF gym uniform.

"No! This isn't right! Let me be!" I desperately try to find a place of refuge but come up empty handed. I finally spot Ed and Al jogging up ahead of me.

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!" With all the adrenaline I have left I sped up to the two brothers.

"Hey Frankie. Um… What's going on?" Ed asks as he comes to a halt.

"She's all flustered up! What's wrong?" Al asks as he also stops. I don't even listen to them and jump on top of Al.

"Brother! Frankie's violating me! Help!" Al pleads his brother for help, but I'm already pulling off Al's head and dropping into the hallow suit of armor.

"This doesn't feel right!" Al's voice echoes off the walls. I think I should be safe in here. I take a second to catch by breath and fix my hair. What the hell am I sitting on? It kinda feels like a book… No, more like a magazine. I adjust myself so I can take whatever I'm sitting on. I don't bother looking at the cover and begin to scan through it.

"O' good Lord! Someone get me outta here!!!" I begin to beat the suit of armor and then I hear Death the Kid's voice. Crap, crap, crap!! He found me! I'm lifted from my place in the armor as Al's hand lifts me up. He gingerly sets me on the ground, but I try to run.

"Take one more step and I shoot." Death the Kid takes aim as he holds Liz and Patty in their weapon form.

"I should be going now—" Al tries to run off, but Kid points one of the two guns at Al.

"Now Frankie, you will not protest. Got it?" Kid orders still holding his weapons. I franticly nod my head not wanting to be shot. Liz reappears as her human form and still holds the laser.

"Ed, hold her down." Kid orders Ed and motions with his gun to me. Ed smiles mischievously and transmutes me into a prison.

"What are you doing Ed?! What would Muto think?!"

"I dunno… Why don't you ask her yourself?" Ed throws me a mocking smile and turns around so his back is facing me. Instead of his back, I see Muto piggy-backing on Ed!

"How long have you been there?! You weren't there a second ago!"

"O' about a few days. It's really fun! We Ed walks he goes up and down, up and down. And sometimes when we walk he goes in and out, in and out. You wanna join? We could make it a threesome!" Muto cheerfully exclaims and points her thumb to her back.

"That's just plain sick! Now if there was another dude involved, then I would reconsider." I scratch my chin thinking of the possibilities.

"Now! Go Liz!" Kid yells and Liz is back to being a human. She gets hold of my left arm. With scissors in hand, she puts the blade under my colorful bracelets. She's going to cut them off!

"Come on Frankie. Just give into the beautiful art known as symmetry! Those bracelets on both of your arms are so unsymmetrical! And that freckle on your chin is so… Ugh! We'll just burn it off!" Death the Kid exclaims in excitement. Liz prepares herself to cut off my precious when—

"Halt!" An old woman's voice is heard from a giant orb that has appeared in the middle of all the commotion. The owner of the voice emerges from the orb.

"Don't you dare cut off Lord Frankie's bracelets! If you do… You will destroy the Universe!" The old woman, who is wearing a cloak and hood, proclaims and points her walking stick at Liz.

"Who the hell are you?!" Liz demands. The old woman cocks her head to the side slightly. She slowly pulls back the hood covering her face.

"Why, Liz… I'm you from the future." With that last remark, the elder Liz shuffles back into the orb and disappears. The scissors in Liz's hand fall to the ground as everyone's jaw hits the floor.

"That was me…? My boobs are so saggy in the future!" Liz screams in despair and runs off to the girls' locker room.

And thus the end of this part. If you aren't rolling on the floor cracking up, then there is something seriously wrong with you. Character/object list (Frankie made it…and as you can see it is much more detailed then mine XD):

Frankie: Writer of this crap.
Muto: My buddy.
Liz Thompson: Patty's older sister. Death the Kid's weapon. (gun) from Soul Eater
Patty Thompson: Liz's younger sister. Death the Kid's weapon. (gun) from Soul Eater
Death the Kid: Shinigami-Sama's child. Liz and Patty's meister. (AKA Kid) from Soul Eater
Edward Elric: Alchemist. Al's older brother.(AKA Ed) from Full Metal Alchemist
Alphanse Elric: Alchemist. Ed's younger brother. (AKA Al) from Full Metal Alchemist

Review Please. More reviews mean that I will update that much faster. Next week, Al's Secret and Death the Kid's Obsession Part Two.