A/N: It's just what the title says. A collection of lemony events. Each chapter will just be about different people getting it on in different places and situations. All the chapters will be short, can't help it. Return soon for more lemony goodness. I can't say when I'll update, because that will just put more pressure on me, then I'll freak out and go into procrastination mode, and then it will be like, 2 weeks. So I'll tell you it won't be long between updates, but I don't know how short it will be. Kay, onto the lemons!


A Collection of Lemony Events

The Mile High Club

Edward/Bella, Bella's human and Edward's all vampy

Edward smiled at Bella as they boarded the airplane. "Are you ready, my love?" he asked her as they sat in their seats. She smiled back once she had sat down.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She said with false happiness.

"Oh come on Bella, a second honeymoon is not that bad. You'll enjoy yourself, I promise." Edward took her hand in his and squeezed it.

Bella settled back and looked out the window. This was going to be a long trip. When Edward had suggested a second honeymoon she had agreed, just to agree. She didn't figure he would actually plan it and everything. "But here I am," she thought, "taking off for Hawaii." She rolled her eyes. Edward wasn't the only one to be blamed however. Alice had a very big part in why she was to be on this crowded airplane for hours on end. Yes, that little pixie was going to pay.

Edward had pulled out a very thick book on some kind of medical term.

"My gosh, this is going to be a very long and very boring flight." Bella thought. She looked at her nails. She played with her hair. She twiddled her thumbs.

Bella sighed and went back to looking out the window. "Something wrong, love?" Edward asked.

"No. I'm just, bored."

"Try reading something. You brought Romeo and Juliet, didn't you?" Edward suggested.

"Okay. Maybe that will work." Bella reached in between her legs and dug in her bag. Instead of pulling out Romeo and Juliet however, she pulled out some paper and a pen. She stared at the blank page in her lap before getting a very, insanely, wicked idea.

Bella scribbled something on the paper and passed the folded note to Edward. "Don't open it until I leave! I'm going to the bathroom." Bella disappeared down the aisle.

"What in the world? What is this?" Edward thought. He opened and read the note out loud. "Wait two minutes until after I leave. Then follow me into the bathroom." He read the note to himself again. "What? Is she crazy?" he whispered. He turned the note over and over in his hand. He contemplated the options. "I could stay here, and just wait for her to come back. Or, I could wait the two minutes and then see what she is up to." Edward ran his hand through his hair and made a decision. He would see what his crazy wife was up to.

Down the aisle, Bella waited inside the bathroom. It wasn't long before she heard a soft knock on the door.

"Edward? Is that you?" she called softly through the door.

"Yes, Bella. What do you need?" he called back.

She opened the door to let him in. Being that the bathroom was incredibly small, there was only enough space for two inches between them. Bella felt the adrenaline rush from what was she was doing.

"Yes, Bella? Why do you have us cramped into this tiny bathroom?"

Bella looked into his eyes. "I think it's time that you joined the Mile High Club. What do you think?" She trailed her hand up his stomach to rub his neck.

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Have you lost your mind, Bella? We can't do that!" Edward thought of the hundreds of people behind him and worked to keep his voice low.

"And why can't we, Mr. Cullen?" Bella asked. She saw the look in his eyes. Edward absolutely loved it when she called him Mr. Cullen.

"Damn. It's not fair, she knows what that does to me." Edward thought. He tried to explain how this could be a very, very bad idea. "There are hundreds of people out there. What happens if one of them has to pee? Don't you remember that time at the park?" Of course, he was referring to the time they had gotten a little too frisky at the park, and ended up at the police station.

"Yes, and I also remember that that was your idea, and therefore, that little escapade was your fault. However, I am in control right now, and I think we won't get caught." Bella kissed him directly on the lips.

Edward felt his resistance fading. He broke away. "But-"

Bella looked into his eyes. "You said that I would get to do everything I love on this trip, and I think that should include you." She kissed him again.

"Bella...." Edward said shakily, but still resisting.

"How is he still resisting?" Bella thought. "This is proving to be a lot harder than I previously thought it would. Time to pull out the big guns." She grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes. "Edward, I want you to fuck me so hard, that the people outside this door hear me scream your name."

Edward gaped at her. He had never heard anything worse than "hell" escape her lips, and then only when referring to the place. Suddenly, she had shifted into a dirty talking vixen. And he couldn't find it any sexier. Edward grabbed her hips and kissed her hard. "Yes ma'am!" he smiled at her.

"Freakin' finally! I thought he'd never break!" Bella thought.

Edward pushed her back and reached his hand under her shirt. Bella felt the backs of her knees knock against something solid. "Oops, toilet." she giggled. Edward turned around and managed to get her shirt off at the same time. Edward quickly undressed Bella's lower half and pushed her up against the bathroom door. He kicked his pants and boxers off (Which is surprisingly difficult when you're in a four-by-four foot space).

"Look, Bella, if we're going to do this, you're going to have to be quiet. Got it? Completely silent." He slid a finger into her, eliciting a moan. Edward looked at her and placed a finger over his mouth. Bella nodded and pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key.

Bella hooked a leg onto Edward's waist as he slowly entered her. Bella bit her lips and dug her fingers into Edward's back to keep from squealing. Edward kissed her neck to otherwise occupy his mouth. He set a slow rhythm.

Bella looked into his eyes. "Faster, Edward." she whispered almost silently. "She's usually so quiet when we're intimate." Edward thought. "Now she's turned into this demanding sex kitten, and I think I like it." He gladly obliged.

Down the aisle and on the left side next to the window, sat Bettie Larson. Mrs. Larson was seventy years old, but still enjoyed wild activities such as riding motorcycles and taking trips to Hawaii for surfing contests. However, she was old, and had a weak bladder. While Edward and Bella were in the bathroom getting their bump-n-grind on, Ms. Bettie decided she better go pee. She headed to the bathroom.

Back in the bathroom, Bella's grip was getting tighter as she neared her orgasm. It was now taking all her concentration to keep her mouth closed, though she couldn't help a small moan or gasp here or there. Edward was having a difficult time holding his tongue too. He had never wanted to make more noise than when he had to be quiet. Edward looked into Bella's eyes and saw a pleading look. Edward knew that look. That was the "I'm-so-close-please-please-keep-going" look. He couldn't resist that look.

Just then there was a small knock on the door. Edward looked alarmed at Bella, but both were too far gone to actually stop. There was another knock along with a woman's voice who called "Is there someone in there?"

Edward looked at Bella. "Say something!" he mouthed at her.

Bella shook her head frantically. If she opened her mouth now, nothing would come out except a scream of pleasure.

Edward nodded back at her.

Finally Bella's orgasm hit her as if she had run full force into a brick wall.

"YES! YES! OH GOD, YES, THE BATHROOM IS FREAKIN OCCUPIED!" Bella screamed as she felt the waves of her orgasm rush over her. She dug her nails into Edward's back as she convulsed against him. "Shit!" Edward hissed in a feverish whisper as his orgasm hit. They gripped each other tightly.

"Okay, dear. I'll come back later." Bettie said, and turned to return to her seat.

Edward leaned his head forward on Bella's chest. Their chests rose up and down in sync as they worked to return their breathing back to normal.

"Do you think she heard me?" Edward whispered hoarsely.

Bella shook her head. "Nuh-uh, I don't think so."

"Yeah, so much for you being completely silent. I wonder if she noticed you were having a huge orgasm when you said that sentence." Edward teased.

"Oh, shut up. Come on let's get dressed." They hurried about the small room, trying to find articles of thrown clothing. After searching carefully for the underwear Bella was wearing, and giving up on finding them, they made their exits: Bella first, Edward two minutes later.

About fifteen minutes later, Ms. Bettie decided the young lady must finally be out of the bathroom, she headed back. Upon closing the door and making for the toilet, she saw a splotch of color. She went up to examine the purple item. She looked.

"Is that- Are those...panties?"


A/N: So there it is. The first chapter. Who knows where they'll do it next? Better come back to see! So, how was it? Did you like? I think you should review, or at least leave me some kind of update if you did. But who listens to what I think anyway? Cuz I think some crazy things! But anyway, I'm asking you to vote in my poll on my profile. The results could influence future chapters! Or they might not. Or maybe they will. You never know. Better be on the safe side and vote. THANX! XoXo