Alright another one of my new stories. This idea came to my head while I was in Montana visiting my family. South Park is one of my favorite TV shows and I own all the seasons that have been released on DVD so far. I have always wanted them to make fun of Asperger's so I finally came up with my own.

This is not related to my B&J stories even though I am using my OC's again in this.

Warning: Some material in this story might be offensive. If you take stories too seriously or TV, especially the internet, I advise you to hit the back button. If I get any flames for this story, I will be forced to laugh at your nasty review because you were too stupid to understand this warning and you take South Park and humor too seriously. That is all.


Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado was a small town called South Park. Lot of weird things happened in it and there were some unique people and they were about to get more. A new family had moved to town. They were very rich because the man had done concert tours in the early 1990's and late 1980's and he had done another one in 2001. He had four different homes and he had recently purchased one in South Park where he heard it was a nice town and friendly people. He decided they were all going to settle there for the year but they didn't live in a big fancy mansion there like you expect in lot of celebrities. He had purchased a normal sized house that was in the same neighborhood as Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan, and of course Butters. Because he was so rich, he didn't need to borrow money from the bank, he wrote a huge check to the people who were selling it and they cashed it and waited for it to clear and when it did, they got the house.

School had started for the day. All the students in Mr. Garrison's class took their seats.

"Children we have a new student today," Mr. Garrison began. "I know we already have plenty of unique people in this school and town. Cartman is fat."

"Hey," Cartman shouted.

"Bebe has started getting boobs, the school nurse has a conjoined fetus, Butters is an idiot and Timmy is well handicapped, Kenny is poor, Kyle is Jewish and I was once a woman. I hope I am not forgetting anybody, if I am, too bad. So the reason why I mentioned all you special people is because we are going to have another special student. He has Asperger's syndrome."

"Ass burgers?" Cartman said. "Hey I would like some fries with that," and he started laughing. "I bet they come out of his ass."

"Shut up Cartman," Kyle yelled.

"Now Cartman you wouldn't like kids to make fun of your handicaps," Mr. Garrison said.

"I'm not handicapped," Cartman said.

"You're fat," he pointed out.

"I am not fat son of a bitch," Cartman shouted. "I'm just big boned."

Mr. Garrison went to the door and opened it and said out in the hall, "Okay principal Victoria you can bring him in," then he told the rest of the class. "Now children I need you to show him respect and be very nice to him."

The principal brought in a little boy with light brown hair. He appeared shy. He stared around the room.

"Okay students this is Benjamin Faltskog," Mr. Garrison said.

Cartman laughed. "What kind of last name is that?"

"It's Swedish you son of a bitch," Kyle yelled. "I'm sure you heard of Abba, Agnetha Faltskog. Damn it I can't even pronounce the name."

"Cartman, you be polite," Mr. Garrison yelled. "Now Benjamin, tell us about yourself."

"I'm called Benny," he corrected without looking at him.

"Okay Benny tell us a bit about yourself."

Benny stared around the room not knowing what to say. All the kids were staring at him waiting for him to speak.

"We're waiting," Mr. Garrison said as he tapped his fingers on his desk.

"What do I say?" Benny asked.

Cartman laughed even harder. "What do I say?" he mimicked. "What do I say? Oh my god what an asshole, no wonder they call it Ass burgers. Get it? Ass Burgers?"

"You son of a bitch," Kyle said angrily. "He is handicapped don't you see. He has a condition where he can't speak you fat ass. There you don't like being called that because you're fat."

"Hey I am big boned you son of a bitch," Cartman yelled.

"Tell us where you moved from Benny," Mr. Garrison said.

"I don't know," he said.

Cartman fell out of his seat and started laughed very hard and kicking his feet on the floor. "He doesn't know where he moved from oh my god this is so funny. He is a stupid son of a bitch."

Benny started to cry.

"Cartman, get back in your seat and shut up," Mr. Garrison yelled. "One more peep out of you, I am sending you to the office."

"Timmy," Timmy shouted as he bobbled his head and moved his hands.

"Okay Benny tell us where you have lived," Mr. Garrison said.

"Uh I lived in Spokane," Benny began.

"Spokane?" Cartman shouted again. "Oh my god what kind of name is that?" Then he said in a retarded voice, "Spoh kan."

"Cartman, you go to the office right now," Mr. Garrison shouted.

"But Mr. Garrison," Cartman cried.

"Right now Eric," he ordered.

But Cartman didn't move so Mr. Garrison pinched him and boxed his ears.

"Ow ow," he kept saying.

"Now now," Mr. Garrison ordered. "Move move move."

He kept pinching his ears until Cartman was out of the classroom.

Mr. Garrison closed the door and sighed. "I am very sorry about this," he said to Benny who was still crying.


I hope I kept Mr. Garrison in character and Cartman is an ass in the show so I think I did good with him.