Disclaimer: You know the drill and if you're still reading that I'm going to assume you're not gonna be offended (But if you are sorry)

A.N. for last Chapter: Japanese was used last chapter because I was lazy and that's what babelfish gave me... Punjabi or Mandarin probably would have made more sense but, as I said, lazy...

On another note: Wow! Lots of reviews (and readers!) Thanks!

And a very big thank-you to:

Lizeth http://lizeth. deviantart. com/ (remove the spaces after the periods) who recommended this story in their Deviantart account

And AnimaBaya for this fanart (Ha I caught you!) http://animabaya. deviantart. com/art/APH-America-s-Worst-Nightmare-125778939 (remove the spaces after the periods)

It makes me feel warm and fuzzy so a very big thank you to you both!

(Watch as they're not reading this anymore lol ;D srsly tho thxu!)

On a completely unrelated note I got Olympic Mittens (which, let's face it everyone and their dog owns if you're in Vancouver) and they are great... except I can't point dramatically like America in them. (Which made me realize how often I myself point dramatically... heh)

...America... who won in the hockey game... (cries) ... better watch your White House buddy (jk)

Arthur puffed angrily on a cigarette as he stood outside the stadium. That was it. America could deal with this mess by himself. It was time to go home, have some tea... mope for a bit. He wouldn't be able to show his face at the UN for a good two years thanks to that moron. He looked down... he was in a dress... oh yeah...

Improvise... ugh.

"Help... me..." Arthur jumped. The groan came from the dumpster.

"Who... who's there? You're not a troll are you?"

"...Arthur! This is no time to have a psychotic break down, get me out of here!" America yelled angrily. Even beaten down Alfred still had a mouth on him Arthur couldn't help but muse as he flung the lid off the dumpster. He wrinkled his nose.

"Is this part of your plan?" Arthur asked sarcastically. America glared up at him. His hamburger costume had been torn apart ... some parts of it had bite marks.

"I'm surprised you're in one piece," Arthur said as he pulled Alfred out of the dumpster.

"The burger took most of the beating," Alfred sighed in regret pulling the last few pieces (and a rotten banana peel) off him.

"Matthew told me to tell you to back off, or the White House gets it."

Alfred groaned again.

"Which was exactly what you wanted to prevent wasn't it?"

"Do you have to nag me right now?" Alfred grumbled.

Arthur had a fondness for nagging, so "Yes it's the perfect time to be nagging you."

"No it isn't! Braginsky's won! He got exactly what he was planning from the beginning." It was Arthur's turn to groan.

"You're saying that it was Ivan's plan ALL ALONG to have you dress up like a giant hamburger and humiliate yourself?"

"I know, devilish isn't he?" Alfred shook his head as if he himself couldn't believe Ivan's craftiness.

"I'm going home, never contact me again."

And thus Arthur went to the nearest bar to get drunk (happy end!)

Meanwhile, with China and South Korea

"That guy hasn't been back for awhile."

"Yeah...pass the chips..."

"Do you think he's ever going to fix his door?"

"I hope so, it's kind of drafty... hey, here's an interesting fact, did you know that Korea invented the door?"

"Sigh... aru..."

Meanwhile, with Matthew and Ivan

Ivan was rather pleased, no broken bones and they ended with a tie. Really it was to be expected though, how could his opponent concentrate with a... a brother like that hanging over his head. Belarus got a bit out of hand sometimes, but if America was his older brother he might just shoot himself in the head rather than deal with him... or shoot America... probably shoot America... did Canada have restrictive gun laws? Maybe that was why? He looked over at the aforementioned country who seemed deep in thought as well.

"How is it that you are doing?" The Russian asked, not unkindly, which instantly put Matthew on guard.

"... fine."

"You seemed rather upset with your elder brother," Ivan practically sung, not looking (or feeling) regretful over this fact at all.


"Very embarrassing, that crazy costume, da?"


"I know what might make you better, why don't—"

"Ivan, if that sentence ends with, 'you become one with Russia,' I'd rather not hear it right now."

"If you are being sure then Comrade. Still, you should be keeping it in mind."

"Yeah..." Matt sighed. Now that the adrenalin rush had worn off he was a mixture of mortified, angry, and tired, and it was probably a bad thing that he was actually CONSIDERING becoming one with Russia just to spite Alfred.

"I'll forgive him tomorrow," Let him sleep in the bed he made for himself this time, at least for a little bit. Matthew nodded (mostly to himself) feeling a bit better.

Ivan, by that time, had forgotten about the Canadian (and potential land gains) being distracted by Cuba who had just walked in.

"Hola Ivan."

"Comrade! What is it that you are doing here? Have you decided to—"

"No," Cuba rolled his eyes, "I was just going to tell you that the missiles look great and America will never push me around again—CAPITALIST!!!" Cuba yelled in outrage and surprise pointing at Matthew.

"What? No!—Well yes—but—"

"How did America get in here!?" Cuba asked looking around quickly. Ivan also glanced around as if looking for a hole someone could squeeze through.

"I am not knowing, just a moment ago I was talking to Canada, his little brother, I do not know where he went either..."

"Yeah, Canada's alright, he probably left when THIS jerk appeared, not that I can blame him," Cuba said accusingly. Matt shook his head sighing, forget it, there was no point trying to convince them...

"Who?" Kumajiro blinked blurrily. He had been asleep in the corner.

"Canada, your owner," Cuba said petting the bear's head.

"I'm just going to go... be... capitalist... in the next room. I'll see you both later eh?"

"We can't just let you go now that you know about the missiles!" Cuba protested. Ivan thought about this and nodded.

"That would seem very unwise comrade," he agreed slowly.

"Of course you can!" Matthew protested.

"Why?" The other two asked.

"Uh... why?" Matthew blinked... that was a good question... "Because... I... am so annoying that I would annoy you to death if you captured me!"

The other two stared at him blankly.

"Because I am that awesome," Matthew added as an afterthought, "... Communists..." he weakly pointed at Ivan.

Ivan and Cuba made a face.

"He has a point," Ivan shrugged.

"GET OUT THEN AMERICAN SCUM!!" Cuba demanded, "Oh and can you please give him back to Matthew? I'm sure he'll be worried," Cuba handed Matthew back Kumajiro. Matthew sighed. Seriously guys... come on...

"Bye then." With that he left the dressing room before they could change their minds... or forget his very existance...

He had the strongest of urges to go to the east coast and fish for the next seven days, but decided he should probably warn Alfred about the imminent nuclear holocaust coming his way, that was the right thing to do.

But man, he really wanted to go fishing...


Arthur... cigarettes: back then I would be surprised if he didn't smoke

China and Korea: the Communist and the sort of (not at all) communist are back at Matt's house and totally bored (the only thing that was on was Hockey oh snap!)

Canadian Restrictive Gun Laws: Probably not back then...

"Because... I... am so annoying that I would annoy you to death if you captured me!": Not that Canada THINKS that (...erm... probably) but he knows that answer will go over well with Cuba and Ivan

Not much for this chapter, but next chapter THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS!!! DUN DUN DAAAAA