"You look older." She comments quietly as I escort from the duck and goose to her apartment block. It is a clear night and I can feel the arctic breeze filtering through the town. I take a cursory glance in Bella's direction; to ascertain if the weather is bothering her. She pulls her light jacket more tightly against her body but remains silent.
"I don't think I have to worry about getting old Bella. I have a feeling you're be getting wrinkles before I do. . ."
I realise my mistake as the words full from my lips. but it is already too late; they are out there now; being pushed along with the breeze.
Of all the stupid, and insensitive things to say. . .
"Bella I'm so…" I stop us both; turning to look into her eyes; expecting to see the pain as agony hits me squarely in the gut.
But there is nothing. No pain; or even anger; just a tiny smile quirking the edges of her mouth.
"I think you might be right about that one Jasper." she breathes in response; a she continues on walking to her apartment. I could catch up easily; but I hang back for a few seconds unaware of how to proceed; until she calls back to me.
"I thought you were supposed to be walking me home. Although I think you maybe the most dangerous thing in Alaska at present." She tags on the end in a low tone.
Oh I don't know. Alaska is a big place, and you Bella Swan have appalling luck.
We both pretend to ignore her last utterance as I fall instep with her; allowing my legs to travel at the same speed as hers. It would be much quicker for me to drive her home; I had even parked the corvette in the car park behind the bar; but I now see that she needs this.
I think we both need this.
Bella needs to be in control; to be able to dictate the speed and direction of us.
Us? Is there even an us?
A vampire in exile, and another vampire's ex-girlfriend hardly the perfect start/
But Edward isn't just another vampire; he is- he was my brother. I try to shake my head from their current thoughts but it does little good. It is only the sound of Bella's controlled voice that brings me out.
"I think it's your eyes. They appear; older. They are a window to the soul after all. " her tone sounds unsure. But there is a fire in her eyes that is threatening to blaze into my own.
"And my soul is more damaged than most." I comment; allowing my eyes to move to stare at the asphalt of the pavement.
I can feel the gentle pressure of a living hand as it snake around my own; in the cold atmosphere of night we are almost the same temperature.
I want to cling to it, but I settle with enjoying the sensation of her skin against my own.
"That's not what I meant." she intones.
I let out a low sigh; taking more comfort from her malleable fingers than appropriate.
I miss this.
I miss the touch of another.
I expect my mind to focus on memories of Alice; but it doesn't; remaining focused on the little human that is holding me hard; almost desperately.
A human comforting a vampire.
It would almost laughable if it wasn't Bella Swan.
"I know; it's been a hell of a time. I have never felt fourteen months go slower." Bella says nothing; but her head nods in agreement.
"You've also changed. You look different." I comment; my eyes flying to her of their own volition.
"I've got older." She laments; disappointment warring with acceptance.
"No. Well yes, but that. But that isn't it." I stop our slow pace; pulling on her cold hand; so that she is now facing me.
I had looked her over last night; but it was quick, and it felt wrong. I was as bad as a voyeur. A peeping tom.
This is different; she stands before me; with her chin raised high; as if daring me to stare.
The differences between this night and last are vast. I can tell that she is much more comfortable in her own skin. She wears a simple pair of black skinny jeans; a baggy jersey hiding a tank top; with a blue silk synthetic jacket.
It should be almost forgettable in comparison with the ivory dress of the evening before; but it isn't.
She would look beautiful in anything.
"How have I changed Jasper?" she asks quietly as my eyes scan her body. I look back with questions of my own; but her emotions hold no tells. She is just as confused a I about the direction of the conversation. Yet I know that she is almost desperate for my response.
"You are taller; by an two and half inches."
"mm." she signals me to continue; obviously expecting more from my answers.
"Your eyes are lighter; no longer a deep brown; they are closer to hazel." I whisper the words; but I know that she can hear them.
I stick closely to the facts; because I dare not say anything else. As a vampire I can be expected to see the tiny variances; such things that human eyes may miss. But how can I explain the other things that I notice? Or how these differences affect me?
Bella's scent has altered. It is a small change but a perceptible one; well to me at least. She had always smelt of freesia's; the smell almost cloying in it's sweetness; an innocent almost child-like quality to it.
But now. . .
A darker tone coats the higher notes; balancing the sickly sweet; with a mature musk.
So much more appealing.
I avoid the thoughts that revel in the change in scent; the venom souring any half realised notions of protecting the broken girl.
Woman; not girl
Bell even acts differently; q determination laces her words, and edges all decisions she has made in front of me.
"If he ever came back I don't think that he'd like what he'd see."
There is a long pause as the meaning behind her words impacts the cold evening.
"Do you. . . Do you want him too?"
Bella turns from my gaze. We both know who we're talking about but I need to know what her answer will be..
"I. . . Don't' know. . . It won't change anything. . I will never be enough. . . But I would want him to know that. . .he was wrong. . . I could never go on with my life as if he never existed. . . .I am what I am because of him."
When I finally speak; It is not to dismiss her last words.
Who am I to tell her what is right and wrong? To be fare I have made a lot of them myself.
"Come on; this cold front will only get worse. And I know that at least one of us can still freeze to death." I note with a sour edge I try to hide.
She nods reluctantly but does not let go of my hand.
I try to pick up the pace; but she refuses to walk faster.
When we eventually get to the large oak front of Odessa house; I am conflicted between my need for her to go in and get warm; and the desire to stay in her company.
"So I will see you again?" I ask my question from the bar; hoping that I will receive the same response. Bella nods; rolling her eyes slowly.
"Yes Jasper you will. I said so didn't I?"
"Of course; but I was just making sure. Just in case you changed your mind"
I don't think I can stay away from you. But I would much prefer to be in your company; rather than skulking outside of your window; like Edward had done. .
The resurgence of thoughts about Edward, does nothing to lighten my mood.
"I never realised before." She starts; biting her lip.
"Something of things you say. . They are kind of similar to the things Edward would say to me."
How exactly am I supposed to take this?
"Right well. Um. . ."
"Oh Jasper. I didn't mean to insinuate. . I just meant. ." She lets the sentence hang; as I wave off her apologies with a hand.
"It's okay. I should have realised, that my presence would do more harm than good. Maybe we shouldn't-
"NO!" Bella belts the word out loudly; stopping anymore thoughts in that direction.
"Okay." I smile. "Just phone me when you have a free day or evening. We could go for another meal; or something. . ."
"And you'll definitely let me pay this time; especially since you don't eat anything."
I nod; knowing full well that this will not be the last argument that we will have on this subject.
She pulls the door open; and I am just about to turn on my heel; when I feel a warm sensation of breath and lips on my cheek. I stop stone still; but she is gone in the blink of an eye.
"See you soon Jasper." She calls; as my fingers trace the small space of skin that now is tingling severely.
Five months will turn into six.
One simple call and the house is mine for another three months.
I don't know why I asked to see her again. It's not as if she needs my help; not really. All I can be is a constant reminder of the man that left her.
But I'm not doing this for Bella am I?
I'm nothing if not selfish.
So what do we think Of Jasper?
Sorry that the chapter is a little shorter, I am working on it.
I wanted to get thoughts from his perspective of the evening without going over the same chapter twice. I understand while people do it, but I wanted to try something a bit different.
All opinions are appreciated. I would especially like to know if you think Jasper's feeling for Bella are a bit sudden? I tried to get them to go slow but well I see it as jasper is a few steps ahead of Bella. As far as he is concerned Alice and him are finished. And well Bella is a lovely girl Lol. basically jasper did an Edward, and left his girlfriend because he was doing "the right thing" not.
Another quick question. Would you guys like an insight into the jasper Alice break-up from his perspective? We did get a little bit in encroaching darkness but I could always add more Lol.
Or are we full steam ahead on the Jasper and Bella Train. As soon as she stops moping about Emo-ward.
He is pretty, but jasper has that whole dangerous growl side that is soooooo sexy, Lol
As always review. They are as awesome as jasper in a leather jacket, walking you home. . And then coming upstairs Ha. Ha.
Bella you have so much to learn