My one mistake
What do you do when you think your life is at an end? When all the people you love; had left you to suffer in your time of endless pain. When the suffering is too much to pretend that it's not there? All you could do, no all you can do it run…
I was tired of it, tired of my mother always hitting me, and I having to take it. Take it like it was nothing and pretend that everything was alright. When in reality it wasn't. My heart was growing more and more dead then alive. In the end I was the one to make the last mistake. Would people understand if I told them? Would they even hear me out? Would they even care?
My mistake was nothing really, just some think that I had thought in my mind. I would have never done it if only she would have love me, instead of hate me. I wouldn't have if only she understood me and not what she thinks she understands. In the end though it was I who got all the blame…
"MOTHER PLEASE LET ME INSIDE! I'M SORRY… MOTHER…"
My cries didn't matter to her, my pleads did change her mind. So I was left to leave home in regret of what I had done. I couldn't look back not now or ever. As I walk with the sorrow growing more and deeper in my heart. I was at my end with no one to blame, but myself. Twelve years old and no where to run; I felt unwanted. Looking back now I just wished I didn't make such a hefty mistake…
"I'm sorry mother…"
"Why did I even give birth to such a rotten child, I just wish you would die"!
Mother why do you hit me all the time I don't understand? What did I do to deserver this torment. I love you even still, but I can't take this any longer…
As objects go in every directions towards little Ritsuka, the more he felt like doing something.
There was a silence in the room, for what Ritsuka had done. With that Ritsuka was forced to leave.
"Get out of here you damn child, you will regret ever hitting me"!
Grabbing Ritsuka by the arm pulling him towards the door way, as Ritsuka pleaded to his mother to stop. But she didn't her anger continues to force her own son out. Ritsuka was out of the house with the door closed behind him…
End of flash back…
What I'm I going to do…
I could see the sun was about to set as I wonder the streets tried and frustrated. My thoughts were nothing, but dark thoughts of suicide. I had no real place to go, no one to run to, I was lost. My eyes stared to get a teary, and I began to cry.
Mother I didn't mean to do what I did…but…
My thoughts come to a stop, as I tried to stop my tears.
Who did I bump in to?
I look up finding a tall man in front of me wearing glasses with his hair down. He looked like he was in his twenties, but I really don't know.
"Oh I'm sorry"
Looking down I passed him trying to not let him notice that I was crying. Suddenly I start to fall.
Oh damn it…
Closing my eye ready for my body to hit the ground, seconds later I hear someone's voice.
"Are you alright"?
Huh what didn't I hit the ground?
I could feel a warm embrace behind me of someone holding me.
"Are you alright"?
The question was asked again, but I was to shock to notice that he was asking because of the fact the he helped me.
I quietly got up and out of his arms, standing myself up again. I continue to look down embarrassed. I started to walk away from the man that was kind to me.
"Are you alright"?
I came to a stop to the same question that was asked towards me before.
What? I thought I answered you?
"Uh yes I'm fine"
I didn't bother to turn around my eyes were still full of liquid. I could just walk away, but for some reason I couldn't. I just couldn't walk away from him. His voice was so comforting to hear. My tears flowed even more, because in a long time I have waited for someone to talk to me in that tone. Suddenly I could hear footsteps coming towards me. I didn't know what to do my legs were too weak for running. All I could do was stand there in the street, crying.
Huh?! Someone called my name!
Suddenly I could feel someone's arms rapped around me. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't move. I was shocked but at the same time I knew this feeling; the feeling of someone once hugging me like this.
"Who are you…Why are you doing this"?
"It's alright I'm not going to hurt you"
It's that man that saved me from my fall earlier. Who was this guy? Why did he embrace me as if he knew me? Why does he seem familiar?
My weak body suddenly falls in to a deep sleep, as I pass out in his arms. The last think I remember hearing was his voice whispering something sweet.
"Everything will be alright… Ritsuka"
How do you know my name? Who are you…?
Sweet words could reach my weakened heart as my thoughts fall to pieces in my insanity. All the more I waited for someone to care, to call my name in such a heavenly tone. I knew if I waited I would be greatly rewarded. Not just in my dreams, but in reality…
Huh I can hear voices… Whose are they?
I was coming out of my sleeping state, as I tried to remember what happened before. My eyes started to focus and the sleep from them disappeared. I was warm and covered with cotton softness.
"Where am I"?
I looked around the room in wonder.
"Are you sure you know what your doing? I know that it was hard to even let go the first time, but you don't know what might happen now."
"Kio I know… You don't have to keep telling me…"
Hey it's the guy that helped me before…! Are they arguing? Are they talking about me…?
I sat their on the bed looking at the door that was closed. I listened to there conversation as my curiosity grew.
"I just don't want you to be hurt again…"
"It's just when I seen him… standing there I …"
Suddenly my body froze when I heard that name ring in my ear. I had a sudden chill that I knew that name.
As I said it I could fell my body shaken and my heart began to throb. Then I hear the door hand creaking. I look up finding the door being opened. I quickly lay back down pretending I was a sleep.
"Oh his still asleep…"
It's him… I guy who helped me…
My eyes closed and my ears alert I waited for the guy to leave. I heard the door closed and gave a sigh of relief. Undoing the covers I got sat up once again. Finding my self looking at the same guy I was with earlier.
"So you were pretending to be a sleep? Huh?"
I was Shocked to find him sitting there on the chair next to me. He looked kind of annoyed, and then started to laugh. I blushed.
"So are you hungry I'll make you something to eat"?
I became aware of what was going on and I tolled my self that this is a stranger's house.
I need to get out of here, for all I know this guy could be a child molester…
"No I'm fine… I'll be going now"
I got up and was about to leave, until my stomach make a sound. I blushed and then heard someone give a little laugh.
"I'll go make you something ok…Rit… I mean I'll be in the kitchen".
Rit? Was he going to say my name? Even if he was I don't remember telling him.
He passes me as I looked at him curious of who he was.
Hmm… I don't know if I should trust him…But he doesn't look like he'll hurt me… I think…
I decide to stay for a while as since I really had no where to go any way. So I sat there at the table as I watch him cook. I toll myself to be alert, and to not lose my guard.
"I'm not going to do anything to you."
I didn't say anything and looked away, as he smiled at me.
"Here you go"
He places a plate on the table that looked really good but I didn't know what it was.
"Well are you going to eat it's not poisoned"
A memory came to my mind of my mother and I suddenly started to cry.
Huh? Why am I crying?
"What wrong I didn't say anything wrong"?
"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me I just started to…"
I couldn't finish my sentence and I couldn't stop my tears either. The memory of my mother was running around in my head as I remembered. Remembering that I had to check my food if it was poisoned or not, if it was okay to eat. That made me sad inside to even think that I need to be protected by my own… mother.
Mother I'm sorry I'm sorry…mother…
I continued to cry as I wiped away at my tears. Trying to get a hold of my self suddenly I feel warm embrace in front of me. My heart begins to pound as tears go down my blushed face.
"It alright Ritsuka I'm here no one's ever going to hurt you again…"!
Huh? How do you know my name? I never tolled you!!! Who are you…?!
To Be Continued…