Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

A/N: Oh, Sai. How I love Sai. Why must all the perverted artists be gay? The world is just cruel, I tell you.

Because I remember to be considerate of folks who aren't as obscenely obsessed with Japan as I am, uke is a term referring to the submissive partner in a sexual relationship. As far as I can tell, it only applies to same sex orientated people, but I've known people who use it for het too. It's all good, y'know? Seme is the opposite, the dominating partner.

Rokudaime is the Sixth. I'm talkin' Hokages, but you probably knew that, yes? Jinchuuriki is a demon container. Naruto's got the Ninetailed Fox in him. Ooh, foxy~ /shot/


In the shinobi village of Konohagakure, there was a blond boy with blue eyes who had a big dream and a small dick.

Luckily for him, the size of his pen-fifteen didn't matter so much because he was gay, and always bottom. Naruto had tried on several occasions to top Sai, but the dark haired artist would have none of it. Pushy ukes were all well and fine, but they were in the end ukes.

Lately, however, Naruto had been starving Sai on the carnal satisfaction front. The boy was determined to have Sai under him, what can I say? All advances by the seme had been successfully repulsed thus far, and Sai wasn't stupid enough to try rape. Sure it'd turn consensual within the first few minutes, once Naruto remembered what it felt like to have his teammate's fingers on him, but there was no guarantee that he'd refrain from complaining to Sasuke anyway. And Sasuke would definitely cause bodily harm to Sai—he was an altogether too protective friend.

Talented though the artist was, he wasn't entirely sure he could win against an enraged Uchiha. That boy was just scary when he wasn't angsting his pants off.

(No fangirls/boys, not literally. Although, come to think of it, that would make for a very interesting plot…)

No, this wasn't a time for forcing sex. This was a time to put those brain cells to work. This was a time to get creative. This was a time to eat French fries.

Huh, wait, scratch that last one.

Sai had been mulling things over, and he seemed to have hit upon the perfect plan. He was fairly certain that Naruto was aching for him too—well, who wouldn't? Sai was a fireball in bed—and it shouldn't be too hard to entice the blond into bed under the right circumstances.

That is, naked circumstances. He knew for a fact Naruto couldn't resist sex right after a shower (something about making the whole process of getting clean pointless. The brunet didn't understand it, but then he got to fuck the blond when he was steamy and wet, so he wasn't one to complain). The problem was, tricky little bastard had taken to bathing in the bathhouse at rush hours. Sai couldn't manage to corner him—so that option was out.

Usually, it wasn't hard to get Naruto to strip. But these were desperate times, and called for desperate measures.

There was nothing for it; he was going to have to be an asshole. Hopefully, the sex would be good enough that the blond wouldn't hold a grudge.


"Naruto! There's a spider on you!"

"Waugh, where!?"

"There, on your shirt! Quick, take it off!"

"Aaargh!" the Rokudaime to be tore off his tee.

"Holy shit, it's in your pants!"

"What the hell—!" the orange pants, too, came off with surprising speed.

"I'll kill it, nubbin!" The artist leapt for the ramen lover, and they tumbled to the floor where Sai quickly ridded Naruto of his underwear.

"What the fuck—"

"Look," Sai said, holding up a large brown arachnid, "It's disgusting."

Naruto squirmed. "Get it away!"

"Done." Sai threw it aside and stretched out over his lover's body, crossing his arms on the blond's chest and staring ponderously into those blue eyes.

"Now get off me!"

"Aw, c'mon," Sai whined, "I got rid of the giant hairy bastard for you. I don't even get a thank-you kiss?"

Naruto considered it. "Alright," he said grudgingly, "Just a kiss."

It was more than enough for Sai. He tipped his head forward into Naruto's, licking the soft lips before entering tongue-first. It was rude, but what the hell, he was horny. His hands flew to Naruto's waist, pinning him down firmly. The blond mewled and arched into him, fingers tangled in Sai's hair.

Oh, Naruto had definitely been missing him. The evidence was hardening against Sai's thigh already—or maybe he was just that good a kisser. One of the brunet's hands trailed upwards over the blond's chest, rubbing against a stiff nipple. Naruto broke away from the kiss, moaning.

"So good, Sai…"

It had been just too damn long since Sai'd heard that voice speaking to him like that, roughened more than usual with raw need. He nipped at Naruto's jaw, working his way down to the neck. Strands of black hair trailed over Naruto's lips as the artist's head moved lower, and the comforting scent of shampoo washed over the blond. He bucked up against the other male, whining for him.

"More, Sai…"

Sai's breath hitched. Gods, if Naruto kept saying his name like that he'd do anything he wanted. He'd even let him tie him up and see what the blond thought he could do to his seme.

The brunet stopped licking at the jinchuuriki's skin as that thought struck him as true. He really would let Naruto top him. Why not? Why the fuck not?

The blond smiled and drew up his legs as Sai straightened. For a minute the artist's dark eyes dropped to Naruto's crotch—mmmm, he'd missed that sight so much—but then they flicked back to the blue orbs looking at him.

"You get your way."


Sai pulled Naruto up, and pushed himself down against the floor. He pushed his pants and boxers down around his knees and produced a small bottle of lube.

"Have it your way, nubbin. Let's see what you've got."

The blond grinned mischievously and grabbed the lube, patting down Sai's pockets for condoms. He dipped his tongue into the artist's navel, eliciting a delicious noise from the brunet. Rough, tan hands gripped Sai's waist and the tongue ventured south, sucking at his throbbing length. The ANBU Root member thrust a hand out to clutch Naruto's hair, his face flushed, his lips parted and panting.


Naruto slicked his fingers with the lube and poked tentatively at Sai's entrance, making the boy laugh. An embarrassed crimson dusted his tan face. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"No…well, yeah," Sai grinned, "It tickles. Just…remember what I do to you."

Treat others like you want to be treated, Naruto thought happily, and thrust his lubricated finger smoothly into his lover. He gasped, clenching around the probing digit, and Naruto slowly slid it out before adding another.

"Yes," Sai moaned, "Yes, like that—aah!"

Naruto had thrust in three fingers now, stretching the artist to his limit. He bent down to kiss the Sai's crotch ("Oh, yes…!") and grinned.

"My cute pink hole," he cooed, "You want me, don't you—hey!" he laughed, "It's saying yes!"

Sai, who'd clenched involuntarily at his boyfriend's stupidity, just rolled his eyes and pushed at his face with a foot. "Don't talk to it, moron, that's embarrassing!"

"What's embarrassing is this," the jinchuuriki growled playfully, swatting his foot away. He pushed into Sai slowly, his hot dick enveloped by the lubricated tightness. Sai arched his back, his thighs wrapping around Naruto desperately, trying to push him in deep. Why had he always thought Naruto was too small to pleasure him? It certainly felt good, the blond certainly had no problem hitting that spot—he found it within two minutes of thrusting in properly, recognizing it for what it was when Sai had nearly screamed out.

They came within a few seconds of each other, so close that it was impossible to tell who's orgasm had set off whose. Naruto held Sai close to his chest, panting into his hair.

"Damn, Sai…"

"Yeah," the artist breathed back, "I know. We'll definitely have to try that again."

Naruto began to move back, peeling off his condom. "I don't know," he said, "That wasn't as fun as being bottom. I had to do a lot more work."

"What?" Sai snorted, "That sounds like the sort of excuse that penis haired lazy fuck would give, nubbin. You've been talking to him too much."

Naruto turned to him in disbelief. "…Penis haired?"

"Please, the way his ponytail sticks straight up? Obviously an erection. Maybe he's trying to make up for something."

The blond choked back a laugh. "You moron," he said, falling back on Sai's chest, kissing him, "You perverted moron."

The artist hugged him. "Whatever, nubbin. You can call me anything as long as you sleep with me."

"Yeah, you need to stop calling me nubbin though. I mean, obviously I'm not that small, if I made you cum."

Sai shrugged. "Hey, you could use penis enlargement to get a twelve inch dick, you'll still be nubbin to me."

"Asshole," Naruto sighed, "But I gotta thank that spider, no matter how much I hate its species—it got me on top of you." Sai felt a twinge of regret.

"Right, about that…"


-ponders- was that too abrupt an ending? It seemed like a good idea at the time. :D