Loss

Gidgetgal9- A/N: This is a series of drabbles in dedication to Devon99 for her birthday. Devon is the queen of drabbles so it seemed only fitting. A big thanks to BlueEyedDemonLiz for inspiring me to try my first drabble, and for a bit of beta work. And as always a big thanks to sendintheclowns, who inspired me to write in the first place.

Loss of Normal

Sam had thought he'd lost his chance at normal the night that Jess was taken from him.

He had been wrong, so wrong.

Sam lost his chance at normal years before he was born.

A Mom he never knew gave up his chance of normal in a desperate bid to save her life of normal.

Loss of Innocence

Dean had always been his protector and had tried to protect Sam's innocence.

But Sam had a thirst for knowledge that had to be fed.

A curiosity that had to be squelched.

And as they say curiosity kills the cat in Sam's case it killed his innocence.

Loss of Companionship

Jess had been perfect.

For Sam she represented everything he wanted in life.

Or thought he wanted.

With her death, Sam lost his life companion but gained the knowledge that he was meant to be alone.

Loss of Family

Sam had in a very vague way always felt the loss of his mom.

It was a distant loss, one that was always under the surface but it never defined him like it did his brother.

The loss of his dad was much more painful.

Sam had wanted his dad's approval, and tried after his death.

But by then it was too little too late.

Loss of Everything

Dean was the one stable thing in Sam's life.

Always there.

Loving and frustrating.

Dependable and loyal.

The night the Hell Hounds took Dean, Sam mourned the loss of his brother, his life, his everything.

Loss of a Second Chance

There was no second chance with Dean.

That fate was sealed the night Dean died and Sam failed to save him.

Now there was only the penance to pay for that failure.

A need to protect and save Dean at any cost.

A need for revenge, to finish what John had started.

It no longer mattered that Sam would lose himself because in the end his life had always been about loss.