A/N: This is my first attempt at fanfiction, so get your guns blazing for reviews! I want to thank MySoapBox for giving me courage to do this and for betaing this madness. Logic, Common Sense and Pleasure belong to Rod M. (a GREAT Ranma author). His idea is the father for this line of storytelling.

Chuck vs His Brain

Chapter 1: Barstow

Real World:

As light shines on the run down motel room, there is a different glow on a specific room. Inside, there are two bodies on a bed. Chuck is, for lack of a better term, spooning with Sarah. Their hands are intertwined and moving lazily.

Chuck's Brain:

Upon first look, the control center to Chuck's Brain seems oddly familiar. Imagine NASA Control Center, but in a pink shade. All around, people are scurrying about, but the atmosphere is a calm one. Further inspection details that the people are all dressed as Nerd Herd employees. Their faces are familiar, yet somehow unrecognizable. In the middle sat three chairs. These chairs, while not thrones, were big and comfortable looking. The chairs overlooked the entire control center. The chairs were placed in a triangular shape, giving the head chair more of a vantage point across the control center. The chairs were occupied at the moment, by three similar looking persons.

Common Sense was sitting on the head chair, drinking his regular brain juice. You could see a striking resemblance to Chuck. His uniform looks worn, but clean. On his left, Logic was seated, a spitting image of how Chuck would look as a Vulcan. Logic is seen writing on his journal, trying to figure out how to access that damned memory space hogger on HIS brain banks known as the Intersect. On their right, sat Pleasure. He was the spitting image of Chuck, but with Hugh Heffner's pajamas. He was still asleep at his chair.

"Sirs! Right Arm reports that Feel Senses are picking up something!!" said one of the employees.

Common Sense, feeling a little panicky at being disturbed from his calmness, ordered the Right Hand to probe out the sensation, while alerting the Senses for further input.

"Eyes Department, check in!"

On screen, the image of the Eyes Department Manager came into view.

"Sirs! We need a moment to focus the retinas, sirs!"

"Damn! Right Hand, report on the feel status!" ordered Common Sense.

"Sirs! He's is definitely touching another hand, sirs!"

This information woke up Pleasure faster than a neuron can fire. Sensing this as a possible contact with THE GODDESS (as Sarah is known in Chuck's brain), he yanked Common Sense out of the main chair his chair and sat down in less than a microsecond.

Looking at the floor, Pleasure directed his attention to Common Sense. "Common, this info gives me priority for control! Logic, agreed?"

"Correct Pleasure....Common Sense, you should relegate control to Pleasure." said Logic.

Getting up, Common Sense sighs.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious! Very well....it must be the Subconscious Section showing of another dream probably...and the boys at the Feel Department must be getting restless....Helm is yours, Pleasure."

Pleasure smiled like the Cheshire Cat.

"Eyes reporting in sirs, we have visuals."

"Put it on screen, boys."

Real World:

Chuck opened his eyes to see blonde hair close to his face.

Chuck's Brain:


No one saw who said that, but all could see on the screen was that blonde hair was right in from of HIM. Common Sense and Logic froze. Pleasure could not believe it. Common Sense reacted first.

"This must be a dream. No need to go to Panic Level Omega."

"Logical assumption, Common," said Logic

"Logical...HIS Ass!" said Pleasure.

"Right Hand, caress the GODDESS's hand. If Common Sense's right, I am going to enjoy giving HIM a good dream sequence!!" said Pleasure.

Real World:

Chuck continued to caress Sarah's hand, playing with her fingers, until he sees Sarah staring directly at him.

Chuck's Brain:

"Sirs, Nose reporting in....we smell lavender, and something else...but we haven't confirmed it yet with the Memory Department," reported the Nose Department Manager.

"Logic, get your lackeys to confirm that smell, that is YOUR department!"

"Pleasure, my people are not lackeys, and I resent that..."

"Logic, sir!" came a similar looking Vulcan, but this one looked like Sarah would look as a Vulcan. "The unknown smell is the GODDESS's scent!"

"Sir, Feel has requested the release of endorphins and testosterone to relieve pressure building in the nervous system!!!" said one of the control center techs, looking closely like Morgan.

"Sir, WE HAVE VISUAL CONTACT WITH THE GODDESS!!!!" cried the Eyes Department Manager.

"On screen...NOW!!!"

On the screen, everyone on Chuck's Brain could see that the GODDESS was looking directly at HIM, with longing in her eyes. Everyone was transfixed on the screen.

Suddenly alarms were going off all across the control center. Klaxons were heard from the speakers. Alerts came from every screen on site.

"Warning.....Sensory Overload will commence in 30 microseconds! Warning.....Sensory Overload will commence in 30 microseconds!"

Logic, in an uncharacteristic move, slammed his hands on the Panic Level Omega button.

All the lights were gone for a second. Suddenly, everything was bathed in a red glow.

"Oh, crap!" said Common Sense.


"I will not go down as the instinct that blew this opportunity! Hands, carefully grab the GODDESS's head! People, we are about to commence Operation Kiss!!!" cried Pleasure at the top of his lungs.

"Adrenal glands, release 45% of adrenaline output. Somebody better be flowing testosterone already! Lungs! Why haven't we raised the intake ratio?! Groin area, respond!"

Everyone scurried as Pleasure barked orders across.

"Pleasure, calm yourself, or you are going to go into brain arrest and take HIM with you," warned Logic.

Common Sense, for once, woke up from the shock, just in time for Operation Kiss to begin.

"Guys, we need to let program instinct KISS-ALPHA run...."

"Agreed," said Logic

"...Thank you...." said Pleasure

Common Sense, Pleasure and Logic stood and walked to the back of the control center. They stood in front of a intricate looking machinery. It had a similar look as the intersect cube, but with a difference that were the keyboard should be, there were three key holes. The three of them took out some sort of key from under their uniforms and placed them on the corresponding holes in the console.

"On three," said Logic.

The three of them turned the keys clockwise and the machinery came to life.

"Please select instinct program to run," said a computerized voice...sounding a lot like Ellie.

"Instinct program KISS-ALPHA, verification code CS-01."

"Instinct program KISS-ALPHA, verification code LG-02."

"Instinct program KISS-ALPHA, verification code PL-03."

"Verification confirmed...commencing program KISS-ALPHA."

Real World:

The spell that held both Sarah and Chuck fixed on each other breaks, and they lunge at each other. They begin to kiss passionately, with all the longing and love they have for each other. Within a few minutes, Chuck feels that Sarah begins to move her hands under his shirt.

Chuck's Brain:

Everyone is on High Alert. The Brain is running on autopilot, since Instinct program KISS-ALPHA was activated.

Suddenly, a report comes in.

"Sirs, Torso indicates that the GODDESS is caressing their vicinity," cried a squeaky voiced tech.

"Yes, this is it boys....it's going to happen!!!" screams Pleasure.

"Wait...we need to stop this for a second....we're missing something," cried Common Sense.

"ARE. YOU. NUTS!!!" Pleasure was radiating enough energy to power LA alone.

"Do you want to impregnate the GODDESS?"

Collective gasps were heard all around the room. This was serious, very serious.

".....damn you...."

"Override Instinct program KISS-ALPHA....." said Pleasure

"Logic, find out from the Memory Department where the hell we keep the condoms," said Pleasure

A/N: And we'll leave it at that. Drop me a line if you liked this story and, if you want me to do a similar take on an event of your choice....even an event on one of your stories. Sort of like MST...but different. Hope you enjoyed it! Now….review….c'mon…you know you want to….even if it's to destroy me or get back at me!

PS: Wepdiggy, don't kill me…I couldn't wait!