Well it's been a while but finally I present my fourth story, I would like to give my utmost greatest gratitude to Akatsuki Seal who has been my true source of inspiration that allowed me to complete this story, thankyou so much! If you are looking for a fantastic Conker fic then look no further than her brilliant story entitled 'Acting on Instinct'. Many thanks to anyone else who reads my stories, more should be on their way soon (hopefully) but for the meantime, enjoy! ;)
"Attention!" roared the Sarge. The sleepy recruits sprang awake startled and bleary eyed.
"Rise to it boy's, what are you waiting for, breakfast in bed?" the Sarge shouted at some
of the more reluctant Squirrels. The young ones rubbed sleep away from their eyes whilst
trying to pull on their gear, one such Squirrel became entangled in his trouser leg and
ended up sprawled face down in front of the Sarge.
"Nutt, what did I tell you? Get up and let's move it, move it, move it!" ordered the Sarge
hustling the boy's outside before he looked back upon the ravaged state of the dormitory.
Another day of training again it seemed.
The Sarge stepped out into the cold morning to find the Squirrels huddled together on the
courtyard, their teeth chattered in the brisk air.
"Alright boy's, it's such a nice morn' that I want to see one hundred press-ups right now, well?"
the Sarge eyed them as they grumbled and whined. The recruits struggled in the mud to
follow out the command, some collapsed out of exhaustion after the first few, a rather
chubby Squirrel flopped down to give a measly few try's before he gave up.
"One, two, three, four, arrgh! What's the matter with you lot? A couple of push-up's to
much for you? Get up and form a nice line" shouted the Sarge.
The Squirrels lined up crookedly against the dormitory wall for inspection. The Sarge walked
along the line
"Straighten up there tubby, get it together Nutt"
Nutt finally realized his overall was on backwards.
"Mmmhmm! Welcome to the Corps men, we love the Corps! It's my duty to turn you into
soldiers of the Corps, who do you love?" the Sarge turned towards them
"The Corps?" ventured some of the Squirrels.
"Damn straight, an- what is it Nutt?" asked the Sarge, Nutt lowered his paw tentatively
Nutt mopped his brow and scowled, he had said two words and already the Sarge had
punished him to sort out everyone's bunks before breakfast. He rushed out to the
canteen and found the others filing out behind the Sarge.
"I've done what you asked" Nutt said brightly now that the Sarge noticed him
"Well done lad, you're to late for breakfast but let's see if you can redeem yourself by
completing the assault course" the Sarge told him. Nutt's stomach growled. The troupe
began to march to the compound and left Nutt in their wake. A plane whirred overhead
as Nutt joined up with the rest beside the lake
"…so that's the course, who's first?" the Sarge finished and looked about enquiringly,
all the recruits stepped back except for one
"congratulations Nutt, come over here lad" Nutt found himself alone up front and slumped
dejectedly towards the Sarge
"you've got twenty minutes to complete the course starting, now!" shouted the Sarge before
pushing Nutt head first into the lake, the other Squirrels cheered him on as he tried to
traverse the body of water. Nutt pulled himself out at the other end and crawled up the bank
until he reached a ten foot high wall, he climbed nimbly up and back down the other side
before flopping down to crawl under a net of tripwire. He arrived back in front of the Sarge rather wet and muddy
"How, did I do?" he asked between pants.
The recruits groaned as they dragged themselves back to their dormitory, it was late and
they were a rather tired and sorry looking bunch.
"Why the long faces lads?", chuckled the Sarge as the Squirrels kicked off their gear
"lights out now, nighty-night" He closed the door and was abruptly met with their snores.
"Music to my ears" whispered the Sarge before walking off to his own cabin. Nutt blew out
his candle and pulled the pillows over his head trying to block out the snoring.
"Attention!" roared the Sarge. The sleepy recruits sprang awake, bleary eyed.
"Rise to it boy's, what're you waiting for, your Momma to arrive?" the Sarge shouted at the
reluctant Squirrels. The young ones rubbed sleep from their eyes whilst trying to pull on their
gear, one such Squirrel had tied his laces in knots and ended up face down in front of the Sarge.
"Nutt, what did I tell you?" Get up and let's move it, move it, move it!" ordered the Sarge
hustling the boy's outside before he looked back upon the messy state of the dormitory.
The Sarge stepped out into the cold morning and found the Squirrels huddled together
upon the courtyard.
"Alright boys, you know the drill, one hundred press-ups right now!" the Sarge eyed them
as they grumbled. The recruits grunted and strained in the mud to follow the command, their
sweat mingled with the dirt. The portliest Squirrel had a face of grimaced concentration.
"13, 14, 15, alright! Get up and form a nice line, hop to it!" shouted the Sarge
The Squirrels lined up for inspection. The Sarge walked down the line.
"Cut the gab laddy, get it together Nutt", Nutt pulled his trousers up properly
"a day at the Corps is the same as everyday at the Corps, it's the best day at the Corps! What are you?"
"Soldiers of the Corps!" replied the Squirrels in unison
"Damn straight, now move your selves to the canteen , one-two, one-two…" the Sarge
marched the recruits off the courtyard.
Nutt licked his fingers as he waited in a warehouse along with the others, a shutter
opened and a brawny Squirrel stepped forwards.
"Good morning recruits, as your Captain I have been authorized to equip you with your first firearm, the Sturm-v8 is the standard issue rifle amongst the Corps.",
the Squirrels stood, head cocked to one side as they tried to register what the Captain had just said
"This rapid fire, anti-personnel weapon features a quick reload dock and fold out shoulder stock. As this is your first time handlinga weapon you will not be supplied with ammo".
This caused immediate complaints
from the young Squirrels which the Captain continued over nonetheless
"Ahem! This will be your basic rifle course, come to the front to collect your weapon." the Squirrels
rushed to the front with outstretched paws.
They could barely groan as they dragged themselves back to the dormitory, it was late
and they had spent most of the day hearing 'crouch, fire, roll, stand up' and the rest of
the day devoted to tripping over themselves to carry out the drill. The Squirrels threw
off their gear and flopped into bed. "Good night lads" the Sarge closed the door to their
abrupt snores. Nutt stared up at the ceiling in thought, and then closed his eyes.
"Attention!" roared the Sarge. The recruits sprang awake, Nutt hopped about bare footed
"Sir this floor is cold" he said in his small dance
"Well what do you want me to do? Bring you slippers?" replied the Sarge "Get it together Nutt".
The Squirrels pulled on their gear and filed out into the courtyard. The Sarge took one last glance
at the relatively tidy dormitory and stepped out into the morning sun.
He was taken aback to find the Squirrels lined up ready and waiting, but quickly found his voice
"What are you waiting for? Get down and give me one hundred push-up's pronto!" the Sarge eyed
them as the fell to it, the heat of the sun shone upon them as they grunted in the mud.
"34, 35, okay! Form a nice line!" ordered the Sarge. The Squirrels lined up for inspection, Nutt
quickly checked all was in order. The Sarge walked along the line, impressed by what he saw.
"So you've chosen to stay another day, some of you may be wondering if you can still leave, let me remind you that you all had the chance to leave before you joined my beloved Corps, am I right?"
"Yes Sir!" came the reply
"Damn straight, now fall out, come on, one-two, one-two…"
Lined up on the field, the Squirrels listened to the Captain explain their next practical.
"Listen up lads, today you will train in the use of grenades and heavy ordinance", the Captain
pointed to the boxes labelled 'army stuff'
"with me today is Leftenant Greyfur who will run you through the basics". A rather large
Squirrel stepped forward, he carried a rocket launcher under one arm like a toy. His fur, not
surprisingly, was dark grey.
"Err, thank you Captain, well here's the basics, there's a target over there, point this end towards it and fire!",
Greyfur accidentally let loose a missile with rocketed overhead and hit one of the storage
sheds at the back of the base "oops?"
The Squirrels cheered. The Captain put on his helmet.
"Okay, single file, come and collect your weapon and grenades" shouted the Sarge before
all control was lost. All afternoon the recruits were taught how to throw grenades properly,
how to place and test for mines, even a small session using the mighty bazooka. Nutt looked
out at the horizon, somehow he felt as if they where being watched.
In the background he could hear the Sarge lecture Greyfur on Government taxes and how he
was supposed to get a new shed, heavy rain clouds had begun to form in the sky, the air itsel
felt heavy and full of disconcert. Nutt shivered even though it was still very warm
The young Squirrels marched back to their dormitory with the Sarge, a light shower of rain was drifted down.
"Get in quick boys, I'll see you tomorrow morning sharp" said the Sarge.
He closed the door and hurried off before the shower became a downpour.
Nutt was not sure when he had drifted into slumber but he had been startled
awake by the crash of thunder. The rain spattered violently against the window
panes, he slowly began to discern noises in the background, muffled shouts
and gunfire! An alarm sounded in the distance and now the others began to wake,
a flash of lightning lit up the room for a brief instant but was shortly diminished by rolling thunder.
"What's going on Nut?" the recruits began to ask but Nutt motioned for them to be quiet,
a dark shadow loomed ominously up against the door, the boy's held their breath.
Nutt edged carefully towards the door but had to leap back as a familiar body fell
through onto the floor, followed by the wind and rain.
The Sarge lay limp
An explosion was heard outside and moments later the hulking form of Greyfur
came through the door, shouting and firing at hidden wraiths in the darkness.
"Sarge, you okay?" he shouted behind him. He slammed the door shut and lifted
the Sarge's body over his shoulder, it was then that Greyfur noticed the multitude of frightened faces.
"Quickly guys, push a bunk over here!" the boys rushed to follow such an
urgent command, Greyfur piled the bunks in front of the door. Bullet's tore through
the door and grazed past Greyfur's cheek, blood splattered out, some of the Squirrels screamed.
"Into the basement!" shouted Greyfur, he wrenched open the trap at the back
of the room and dropped the Sarge down into the hole, the rest of the Squirrels followed after.
Greyfur climbed down after them and closed the trap door, broke off the handle and hefted the
Sarge over one shoulder they found themselves in a poorly lit or ventilated tunnel.
A muffled explosion was heard from above and the tunnel shook, light's flickered and dust funnelled down.
"Old service tunnels, from way back in the Weasel war" explained Greyfur in a hoarse whisper,
he led them along the narrow passage. It was uncomfortably warm in the tunnel, Greyfur was bent
almost double and it took them a while to reach the paths end. Greyfur pushed open a manhole and peered out over the edge.
The Squirrels pulled themselves up into the night air and found themselves amidst the splintered
remains of what appeared to be an old storage shed. Greyfur lifted the Sarge out of the hole, wiped
his brow and stretched but was quickly forced to dive to the floor as bullets zipped through the dark.
Several of the boy's screamed again and began to run about, other's squatted down unsure of what to do.
Nutt crawled over to where Greyfur lay.
"Sir-" began Nutt but Greyfur was already back up and had grabbed one of the Squirrels who had been
running about previously. He trudged over to one of the storage shed's, kicked open the door and threw
the poor recruit inside. More bullet's flew past as the rest of the young Squirrels followed suit,
Greyfur picked up the Sarge and carried him in. He laid him down upon the tabletop and motioned for the others to gather round.
"Sir?" Greyfur grabbed a fire axe and proceeded to smash open a locked cupboard, he retrieved rifles from
the wreckage and handed them out amongst the frightened Squirrels. They clutched the weapons limply.
"Sir?" repeated Nutt dolefully.
"I don't know what to say guys, they attacked in force, it came as a surprise to me as well" said Greyfur, head between paws
"Who sir?" asked Nutt
"Tediz" whispered Greyfur, a familiar shiver ran down Nutt's spine.
"But, Tediz are just a myth, a tale my mum used to tell me" said Nutt
"Well the Corps does try to keep a lock on things" everyone turned in surprise as the Sarge sat up and groaned,
Greyfur hurried over to aid his superior but the Sarge waved him off.
"Many years ago there was a report of a horribly damaged and razed village, upon closer inspection bodies of both the village peace keepers and Tediz where identified" the Sarge paused to groan as he held his head
"They had burned down the village to kill the Tediz?" reason dawned upon Nutt.
"These new ones aren't so easy to deal with" muttered Greyfur
"Can't we just wait for the army?" asked a recruit, this brought the others back to earth
and an argumentative buzz began amongst the Squirrels. The noise grew until Nutt could
bear it no longer and tugged on Greyfur's sleeve
"Quuiiettt!" roared the Leftenant, all faces turned towards his, "we can't leave without the Captain, we'll have to help him"
Silence enthralled for a moment.
"Well you heard the man, get your tails on line, let's move it!" shouted the Sarge.
They bursted out of the shed into the driving rain, up ahead Nutt could see the dorm's ablaze,
it tinted the night sky a hazy orange and shadows flickered in the firelight. He ran with the others,
even Greyfur had put on extra speed as they made their way over open ground to the canteen.
Nutt heard vicious snarls come from all directions along with the padding of many feet.
He yelped and fell heavily into the mud as his foot became ensnared. Rolling over he came face to face
with an older Squirrel who's legs were horribly mangled.
"Help me" moaned the belated soldier but Nutt kicked out in fear and broke away from his grasp,
tears stung as he ran off to the canteen, behind him an audible screech of pain was silenced by gunshots in the night.
"Hurry up and get that door closed!"
Nutt sprinted to the slowly closing portal of light, the manic breathing of the enemy was hard on his heels.
"Hey, hey wait for me!" cried Nutt, he dived through the gap and just made it by the tip of his tail
before collapsing against the wall where he sat and panted heavily.
"Fella, get to the canteen, c'mon little fella this 'aint the kind of place you want to hang around" a soldier
ushered Nutt down the hallway. Outside the Tediz pounded at the door which shook on it's hinges,
noises echoed throughout as more Squirrels took up positions along the corridor.
Nutt was re-united with the rest at the canteen, he turned to thank the soldier but found that he was leaving
"Good luck little fella" the Squirrel replied, a tear ran down his face as he closed the door,
Greyfur bolted it shut and pushed a heavy steel table in front of it.
The door bent and twisted as it was ferociously rammed from outside.
"Lieutenant!" called one of the soldiers as the Squirrel returned to his position
"Men, whatever comes through that door you will hold against with every last bullet, every last breath!" shouted
the lieutenant "and Godspeed" he added quietly. Sweat ran down one soldiers cheek,
another muttered a quick prayer, the door stood crippled.
A loud bang was heard in the corridor followed by shouting, gunfire and screams.
Nutt, the Sarge and Greyfur crouched down behind an upturned table along with the recruits
and several seasoned Squirrels. All had their weapons pointed at the door from which came
many curses and snarls. Paws trembled, a few whimpered.
It was silent again.
No more shot's could be heard, the Captain peered down his sights. The lights cut out and the
room fell pitch black,l moments later the emergency power kicked in and the canteen was swathed
in a dull red glow. All of a sudden the door was smashed open and the room lit up by flashes of gunfire.
It did not last long before the final Tediz dropped dead.
"Hold your fire"
"Are there any live ones?"
Nutt sobbed chokingly in relief as army Squirrels entered the room, power was restored
and bright lights flooded the scene, out in the hall lay many bodies of friend and foe alike
"Must've been one hell of a fight"
Nutt dropped his gun, sat back against the table and shut his eyes.
Beside the smouldering wreck of a military camp assembled Squirrels had gathered upon the field.
Some were scarred and others singed but for the most no serious injury had occured.
The sun shone a cold light through the mid-morning haze, the Sarge stood at the front,
his arm in cast and bandages.
"Men, last night we where confronted by the enemy, he is savage and violent without mercy. They arrived in force, attacked without provocation and destroyed a military installation. Many brave Squirrels gave their lives so we may be stood here today, they shall not be forgotten! This is a declaration of war!" the Squirrels saluted as a flag was unfurled to reveal bold, emblazoned letters.
"I've heard the enemy is a determined lot but one thing id certain, the S.H.C. is pretty damn determined to!" cheers rang out over the plains, Nutt nudged one of the other recruits
"So does this mean no breakfast?"
A final few notes and thoughts: I feel that this story was quite important to try and get chronology correct, so that timeline wise I wasn't creating any paradoxes in the Conker-verse. In this story Nutt acts very naive, which is Ironic considering how in previous stories he was a lot more outgoing and seemed to have personal disdain for new recruit's. I wanted to show how the effects of war and military life can reform a character. The Sarge in this story is the 'old Sarge' who stars in the actual game, the Captain is from my first and third stories. Greyfur needed more developement and this was the perfect chance, though he doesn't see much combat in this one his affection for the younger Squirrels is displayed much more prominently. The Tediz in this story are based off of the Tediz as they appear in the N64 version of Conker BFD. On a final note I am proud of how this work turned out and it would interest me to know what other people thought of it.