Sorry sorry sorry it's been SO long since I've updated. I've been busy, I went on vacation, and schools started so I'll be writing less. Anyhoo, you don't care, so lets get on with the story. I now present you with my first-ever double drunk-ness story! Carlisle and Esme!

Two days after last chapter, and two hours earlier:

"Do you think the alcohol will be out of the mountain lion's systems yet?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't think so, I saw one pass out yesterday." Emmett said.

"I see....." Carlisle thought. "We'll just hunt grizzlies or elk, then." Carlisle finished, as Esme walked into the room.

"You're going hunting? I'll go with you." she said.

"Okay. Let's go." Carlisle said, as him and Esme walked out the door, as Seth and Jacob entered.

"Muahahahahahahaha!!!!" Seth cackled.

"What now?" Bella sighed.

"Oh nothing....." Jacob said.

"What did you do this time, Jacob?" Bella asked.

"Well.....we loved to watch mountain lions pass out, so we we're wondering what it'd be like for a grizzly bear or elk to pass out...." Seth gave in.

"Are you saying you gave vodka to grizzly bears and elk?" Alice asked.

"Every single one in a hundred mile radius!" Jacob said excitedly.

"Oh crap." Rosalie said.

"This is gonna be great! Lemme get my camera!" Emmett exclaimed.


"Woo!!!" Esme and Carlisle cheered together as they walked into the room, after hunting, with each other's arms around each other's shoulders.

Everyone froze.

"Wuzzup ma homies??????" Esme said.

"Yo sup dawg!" Carlisle said, as Esme howled like a dog.

" how's it goin'?" Jacob asked.

"Oh nussing, just hangin' with my bitch!" Carlisle said, looking over at Esme.

"And I'm justa hangin' with ma pimp!" Esme said.

"Oh gosh, Esme and Carlisle have gone street on us..."Jasper said.

"Oh dear God." Edward said.

"Yo, bitch, don't me mezzin with my beef, dawg!" Carlisle said,

"Oh gosh!" Bella said.

"Ew." Rosalie said.

"I ain't doin' no mezzin wit yo beef, dawg!" Emmett replied.

"Shuzzup, you filly hoe!" Carlisle said.

"Yeah, bee-otch, you know nu-ing about C-Dog's beef, you filly shizz!" Esme replied.

"Yo shu-up, Esme-mé, you filly hoe, shuzup!" Carlisle said to Esme.

"Oh no you di-in't!" Esme said.

"Don't talk back, bitch!" Carlisle said.

"Oh, you got no atherty ova me, C-Dawg!" Esme spazzed.

"Oh yes I do, Ezz-whore!" Carlisle said. Esme gasped.

"Omigosh, a pwitty puppy!" Esme said, distracted, as she saw Seth. She ran up to him, and gave him a hug.

"You go run 'way with that man-pimp, Ezz?!?"

"Psh, I will not take dat tone witchoo, Car-shrpizzle" Esme said.

"Ohhhhhh." Carlisle said, in a high pitched voice.

"" Seth said, seeing as Esme hadn't let Seth go.

"Psh, naw, da'ling! We's gonna run 'way wit 'chother, puppo!"

"Don't all be puppo...." Seth said whilst Jacob and Leah almost died of laughter. Esme grabbed Seth's hand, and pulled him to the forest, and started running.

"Oh no, that whore-pup stole ma Ez-shrmplizzalizzle!"

"Say wha?" Emmett said.

"I's gots too go's gets hers backs!" Carlisle, ahem, Carlizzle, said. "Lez, go, dog-chick." he said to Leah.

"Wait, what? I'm not going with you!" Leah said.

"Toos bad, he's yo bro, yous gotts to help me find that hoe and Ezzy."

"Go, Leah!" Jacob encouraged. Without another word, Carlisle grabbed Leah and chased Esme through the forest.

After a gruesome tomato fight, Carlizzle got Ezzy-V back, and Seth and Leah had to be sent to a mental hospital after staying in the general hospital for six weeks. Well, six hours for them.

So, I'm SO SORRY for the nutty delay, but I updated at east :) So tell me who you want next, I'll mark it down, and see who's next :) Also, the hangover of Esme and Carlisle will be soon :)