Title: Deserve
Rating: T (language)
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Note: This is just a quick response to the new episode Amplification.


He had, he was quite sure, suffered through more in his lifetime than the average person of the United States would ever dread to experience in three lifetimes. Throat and chest sore, he found himself yet again in a hospital bed, and Spencer Reid could not help but wonder what he could have done in some God forsaken last life that made him deserve all of this in this one life. On the other hand, if this life was simply boot camp preparing him for the real one, then Reid was sure that he would be over qualified and prepared. He had read too many theories on the trials of life and their purposes to separate them into some logical thought now. There was much too much in his head, and much too much in his life.

His mother and his father had started the slow spiral into this fuckery, he was sure. Garcia's new vocabulary word seemed to fit his life recently—one giant fuckery. The hospital with Hotchner that left him wondering at night whether or not Hotchner was lying had come next. Then the train with Elle where he watched the crazed genius and saw himself, and then the cabin in the cemetery all left him with some irksome feeling of paranoia and wrongness. In his dreams he just felt the chair at his back and heard the clicking in front of him, but it was enough to send him bolting from bed to the comfort of Star Trek reruns. His father had again ripped opened the wounds after Spencer had so painfully put the pieces of his life back together and begun to roll up his sleeves in public again. The dreams shifted at night to include Emily screaming in the background and his godson just out of his reach.

And now…And now, after possibly assisting in saving the country, all he could do was lie there with his hands by his sides as he struggled to take another breath. After everything he at least deserved his goddamn Jell-O.