Title: Fools Are Kings
Fandom: FE9/10 | Tellius
Character/Pairing: Ike/Soren,
Rating: PG?
Summary: Revelry demanded Soren be king for a day. After that, everyone was thankful he'd never really become king.
A/N: This is a joking alternate take to le roi est mort, vive le roi and tyrannical!king Soren in general. And yes, this was a real medieval tradition, though I can't bring a wiki link up this sec because my connection is being a douche.

For searains as a post-exam snuggle.

This is entirely silly.

Soren knew of the tradition, the joking turning of the noble into peasant and peasant into kings. He had expected Ike to be named the fool king of this useless revelry, but Skrimir had called his name out first. Typical Skrimir. The beast king looked even more idiotic in that Jester's hat which he had insisted on wearing.

"Long live King Soren!" came the cry from the half-drunken revelers.

Soren made his way up to the raised platform. A cheaply made throne, painted to look richer than it was spread by another, a seat for a queen.

Soren sat down and took his paper crown with no hint of mirth. If it had been anyone else they would've assumed he was being a parody of a tyrannical king with nothing but frowns to be had, all for good fun, all for a laugh. But this was Soren – he was simply being normal, and himself.

" As king, I appoint Ike as my consort."


Ike ascended to the platform beside him without question. He took one impassive look at the dress of the queen in the painted treasure chest that served for costumes and gave it a I'm really not going to fit in that eyebrow raise. Otherwise, Ike was seemingly placid and perfectly ok with being Soren's queen.

And thus, king Soren gripped his scepter and gave the first proclamation of his reign.

"All who dare gaze at the king's consort will be sentenced to death by torture. Quartering and flaying is also acceptable, as is impalement."

"Haha, our 'king' has a sense of humor!" Skrimir said.

"You question your king's word?" Soren said slowly, dangerously. He raised his paper-and-wood scepter as his eyes narrowed. If he had been holding a tome, this would've been a very grievous situation for whoever had incurred his wrath. As it was, with his paper-and-wood staff, he wasn't quite as imposing.

From his side, Queen Ike, touched King Soren's arm. The king stopped his execution commands mid-sentence.

"Calm down, Soren. They're just playing along."

Soren closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. When he opened them again, he looked as if all the murderous thoughts had been drawn out just by that touch.

God bless the queen, he'd saved them all again. It seemed daily Ike was saving them from Soren's wrath, king of mere tactician. Without Ike, who knew what things Soren might do?

"Our queen is most wise," Soren said drily.

They laughed along at their king's 'joke' but deep down each felt glad that Soren never would be king. None of them were particularly sure that they would survive such an event.