L: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Today I will be taking over Nxh592's duties I am along with Sakura Haruno and Eureka.
Nxh592: Not today L! Tying me up will do nothing my monotone friend!
L: Hmm you escaping was never in my calculations.
Eureka: (grumble) those two will never stop fighting will they?
Sakura: No, that's impossible
Nxh592: Anyway today starts a new story!
L: A question,
L: Why have us three? Three people from very different series? Sakura here from a ninja village who acts almost nothing like a Kunoichi, Eureka, A coralion who has green wings and strange powers that have extreme effects on the world. no offense.
Sakura and Eureka: None taken
L: and finally me, a being with superior intellect and is dubbed the worlds greatest detective.
Sakura and Eureka: Hey!
Nxh592: I agree, you three are from very different worlds, but I believe you three can give us some perspective on how you three would interact in this situation.
L: Ah I see, it would seem that would be an intellectual study.
Nxh592: Quite true
Eureka: I got a question
Sakura: Yeah so do I.
Eureka and Sakura: What the fuck are you talking about?
Nxh592: Hmm, I seem to have gone into my own wisdom momentary, I am able to understand the complicated tongue of the Intellectual mind.
Eureka: You poor thing let me help (slams hammer over head)
Nxh592: I believe you need something with a tad more strength.
Eureka: Okay, try this! (Slams jackhammer over head.)
Nxh592: Keep trying. Sakura, if you would help her.
Sakura: That's right! Maybe I can do something (Slams hard over head.)
Nxh592: L, please.
L: Right, Boot to the head. (throws boot)
Nxh592: (face returns) It WOOORKS!! (bored look returns)… well, it was successful momentarily
L: I see.
Nxh592: I am still contemplating all that the superior contemplation of the intellectual mind.
Eureka: Sakura, together! (Gets in Type-Zero)
(Both hit head with all force.)
Nxh592: (sigh) nothing, if this keeps up, I won't be able to continue with the story.
L: There is one thing you haven't tried.
Nxh592: And that would be?
L: Look, a Waffle (Holds Banana)
Sakura: Ryuzaki, that's a-
Nxh592: -WAAFFFFFLLE!!!!!!! (eats banana) I'm back baby! And now I will be able to tell my new story.
Eureka: Why weren't you able to before?
L: I think I have a theory. Nxh couldn't do it before because he found it futile to do so, as it didn't benefit him in any way.
Nxh592: But now that I am an idiot again, I'd happily do it for free! Now Let's read the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own the people I will use in this story. That would be barbaric; I instead whip them until they do it of their own free will.
This is a story in the past. It shows how things were before Naruto Uzumaki was born, before the Kyuubi attacked. This is the story of the Shadow Clone Jutsu brothers, Arashi and Kazuma Uzumaki
(Thinking or whispering)
It was a normal day in Konohagakure, people were in the shops buying odd things, people were eating in restaurants, and-
An explosion shook the ground and two boys with similar spiky yellow hair, no older than thirteen were running at high speeds.
(sigh) and Arashi and Kazuma Uzumaki are in trouble again.
"Run Kazu! Run!!!!" The one in front yelled as the explosions got louder. As they did, a red haired girl, not much older than the two boys was throwing kunai with a tag at the end, which activated the explosions.
"Get back here Arashi Uzumaki!!" She yelled as she threw another at them.
"Why Arashi? Why are you so stupid?!" the one in back asked.
"I don't know! It slipped out!" the one in front said running faster.
"You should have figured it out by now!! Calling Kushina Namikaze a controlling know-it-all always equals us running for our lives!!!"
"I didn't mean to, she made me!" He yelled, "In any case you agreed with me, Kazuma!" he said just realizing
"Now I'm wishing I didn't!" he said
"I'm going to kill you Arashi!" Kushina said again
"Wait a second, she's only interested in killing you!" Kazuma said "Later Arashi! Good luck with surviving!" He disappeared in a yellow flash.
"Kazuma you traitor!!!!" Arashi yelled into the air.
"I'm going to kill you Uzumaki!" Kushina yelled as she chased him down the alleys.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit!!!" Arashi said going down the mazes of the alleys of Konoha.
He ran down a dead end. "Oh shit," Arashi said to himself as he looked slowly behind him. Kushina was cracking her knuckles.
"Your dead." She said
"Please spare me Kushina-Chan!" Arashi said on his knees his hands in front of him together.
"And why should I?" Kushina said glaring at him grovel at his feet.
"I will never do it again, I swear that I will never do it again." Arashi said with his eyes closed.
"Nope, I don't buy it." Kushina said with an evil smile on her face.
Arashi was cowering "Please Kushina don't! I like you!" he didn't know what he said until it was said and done. 'I wanted to tell her but not like this! I'm gonna fucking die, I'm gonna fucking die, I'm gonna fucking die!' he felt a flick on his head. It made his eyes open. He saw Kushina's hand still near his head.
"You… what me?" She saidstill frowning.
"Ahaha, I uh… like… you…" Arashi said shaking
"Now you gotta pay the penalty Arashi. You want to know what it is?" She asked with a positively evil looking face that would make Chuck Norris cower in fear.
Arashi still had his head down. Waiting for what was to come.
He heard a small giggle. "You got to take me to dinner."
His head shot up. "Uh… wh-what?"
"Tonight, Ichiraku, at 7:00, don't be late. Remember I know where you live Arashi-Kun." Kushina said smiling as she walked away.
"Hahah, I got a date with the prettiest Kunoichi I know." Arashi said smiling. "…But how?"
Chapter 1: Intro! The Shadow Clone Jutsu Brothers have arrived!
Earlier that morning~
"So Kazu, y'think they'll put us in the same team?" Arashi asked his younger brother.
Kazuma just laughed "They'd better; they know how we are weaker when we're apart. I mean seriously, I would be an even match for Fugaku if I wasn't with you."
Arashi crossed his arms and nodded "Yeah, we might be even weak enough to take Hiashi seriously."
"Hey, don't say things you can't take back." Kazuma said "We're not that weak."
"Oh, and you know what's embarrassing?" Arashi said
"What is it my brother?" Kazuma asked
"They have heard our entire conversation." Arashi said to the steaming heads of the Hyuuga and Uchiha.
"Well, It's not like they could do anything." Kazuma said
"You two better watch your backs, because I will not let you disrespect both of our families." Hiashi said looking back with Byakugan activated
"Whatever you say, blindy!" Kazuma joked
Arashi looked behind him briefly "I hope Kushina-chan'll be on our team."
"Well I don't," Kazuma said shivering "She scares the shit out of me."
Arashi shivered too "Uh… yeah me too." He said as his ears got red "But…"
"Alright, is everyone here?" The Chunin in front asked. "Good, now to announce the teams, squad 3, Shisui Haruno, Hanatoro Hasakawa, and Tsume Inuzuka." The team consisted of Shisui, a strong kid who never really liked to talk much; He liked to make things like swords and he was pretty good at it. Hanatoro was a young girl with pink hair, she smiled at Shisui. Tsume was a wild girl to put it lightly. She kept a wolf pup who lost its eye some time ago on her head.
"Squad 10, Inoichi Yamanaka, Choza Akamichi, and Shikaku Nara." Inoichi was a kid who had dirty blonde hair that reached his shoulders; he smiled as he knuckled the two that he was sitting with. The kid next to him was a fairly chunky kid, named Choza. He was eating barbeque chips. He laughed heartingly when he heard his name. The kid at the end had a topknot hair-do, he was leaning back carelessly. On his face was a scar across his chin to his left eyebrow. He just chuckled lightly when he heard his name.
Many teams were announced, and many teams were leaving as they were assigned until only six people were left.
"Team 21, Fugaku Uchiha, and Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuuga." Fugaku was a kid with Raven hair, through all the time he was at the academy; He never liked Arashi or Kazuma. The same went for the other two. The only other twins besides Arashi and Kazuma. They both had long brown hair and Blank white-eyes.
"Hey, that means." Arashi looked back to see if she was still there.
"And finally, the last team, Arashi and Kazuma Uzumaki, and Kushina Namikaze."
"What?!" Kazuma yelled "We have to be with her?"
"I have to be with the idiots?!" Kushina said getting up
"Hey we're right here Kushina!" Arashi said
"I don't give a damn Arashi." Kushina said "You are idiots!"
"Actually Kushina, Kazuma and Arashi had one of the highest scores in the academy. You passed just because of your genjutsu skills and your skills with weapons. You had very low scores for Ninjutsu" Said the Chunin.
Kushina's face turned a dark red "Fine," Kushina said "Then who's our teacher?"
"You'll see when he comes… If he comes" He grumbled looking out the window.
The trio waited for quite a while. Kushina was tapping her pencil on her desk, while Kazuma and Arashi were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors getting a tie each time.
"Neither of you is going to win!" Kushina said finally
"One more game Kazu!" Arashi said ignoring her.
"One, Two, Three!" Kazuma and Arashi both picked rock. "That's the fortieth time that's happened. Now I'm bored," Kazuma said, "wanna arm-wrestle?"
"Heheh, nah." Arashi said getting up.
"Where you going Arashi?" Kazuma asked
"I got an idea," Arashi said
"Ah I see, you are a genius my brother." Kazu said
An old man came through the doors he had a headband that said oil. "Geez, I am so late." He said rubbing his head "But I just had to see that redhead's boobs, they were extremely big." He said giggling with a red face. "Ah here it is, room 2-3." He said "hmm?" he heard voices from the other side.
"Uzumaki, you're going to get in trouble." A girl's voice said
"Ah stop being a spoiled sport Kushina-Chan." Said a boys voice
"Stop calling me Kushina-Chan, I am not your friend Kazuma." She said annoyed
"Hmm, they seem a little restless." The old man said to himself as he opened the door. "Alright, let's settle-"
"FIRE!!!" a giant wooden hammer came at him. It slammed into his face.
"Geez guys, what if that was Lord Hokage?" the girl said
"That would be hilarious!" Kazuma said
"You're close girl." He said getting up, dusting off his shirt. "I was his student."
The red haired girl got up quickly "Jiraiya-sennin!" She said helping him up. "I'm sorry sir, I told them not to."
"Aren't you that old man that's always peeking in the ladies bathhouse?" Arashi said
"Yeah, that's the guy; let's call him Chikan-Sennin." Kazuma said
"Yeah, he looks like someone who would grope girls." Arashi said "Kushina you'd better watch out." He said
Kushina got red in the face. "You guys have the dirtiest minds!"
A.N: Chikan is Voyeur or male sexual pervert. It can also refer to a person who gropes a girl.
"Well, now that I have seen you all, I can honestly say, I hate you all." Jiraiya said chuckling "Meet you all on the roof." He said disappearing in a puff of smoke.
He appeared on the roof to find that the two boys who were in the room beat him to the roof.
"Geez, what took you so long?" said the one on the left
"Man, and they call you a Sennin." Said the other.
The door slammed opened to find the red haired girl huffing "Never do that again you two!" she said sitting down next to them.
"Alright now I want to know about you three, your names, your ambitions, likes and dislikes stuff like that." Jiraiya said "You redhead, go."
Kushina sat up "I am Kushina Namikaze, I like to jump off of roofs over and over again, I hate those two morons." She pointed to the two yellow haired boys.
"Who us?" They said simultaneously
"And my dream for the future is to become a strong Kunoichi. So I can fight against Tsunade-hime." Kushina said
"Well, then your gonna need to train hard. Alright, you go." he pointed to the one on the right.
"My name is Arashi Uzumaki, I like ramen and screwing with peoples heads, I hate when me and my brother get caught, it shows our weakness! And my dreams for the future, is to become the next Hokage, and become a village hero that everyone will remember."
"And finally you," he pointed to the last.
"I'm Kazuma Uzumaki, I like making people think crazy thoughts, and Ramen, and I hate it when people find out what we're doing. It makes all our plans go to mush, and my dream for the future is to become a great leader and make everyone remember me."
"That was basically the same thing." Kushina said
"Your point?" The said at the same time
"Hey, the Chikan-Sennin holding out on us!" Arashi said "We told you, now you tell us."
"Alright, My name is Jiraiya, I like… well what I like isn't for children's ears, I dislike many things, and my dreams for the future… well I don't know."
"Great, you just told us your name." Kazuma said
"And that he's a pervert." Arashi said
"Oh be quiet Arashi." Kushina said annoyed
"Stop being such a controlling know-it-all Kushina." Arashi said
"Yeah, you need to stop trying to run our lives." Kazuma said
"Oh shit." They both said as they realized what they said.
"What the fuck did you say to me Uzumaki?!" Kushina growled
"Kazu," Arashi said fearfully
"Yeah?" Kazu said in similar fear
Jiraiya just laughed "This team is going to be fun." He was looking at Arashi stunned in the alley. Jiraiya jumped over to where he was.
"Huh? Chikan-Sennin, it's you." Arashi said
"Stop calling me that!" Jiraiya said pounding him over the head. "Anyway, you guys went on your adventure so fast that I forgot to give you your meeting point tomorrow."
"Good, so where are we meeting?" Arashi asked
"Tomorrow, training ground 13. Oh you'd better not eat anything, you'll just puke it back out again. Tell that to your brother and your girlfriend." Jiraiya said
Arashi's face went red "Who are you to say Kushina-Chan's my girlfriend?!"
"Well, you do have a date with her at Ichiraku tonight don't you?" Jiraiya said smiling
"You really are a voyeur!" Arashi yelled
"Hey there you are Arashi!" Kazuma said as Arashi appeared behind him.
Arashi slammed his fist over his head. He almost fell off the roof.
"What did you do that for?!" Kazuma yelled rubbing his head
"That's for running out on me when Kushina-Chan was chasing us!" Arashi said
"Speaking of which what happened? Did she beat you?" Kazuma asked
"Uh… actually, I got a date with her." Arashi said rubbing his head.
"Whaaaat?!!" Kazuma said befuddled at what he said. "How did you manage that?!"
"Well, I just plain told her, I like her." Arashi said rubbing his head
"Man! Well, I guess you got her then. Too bad, I liked her too." Kazuma said
"Looks like I beat you Kazu," Arashi said
"Well, I ain't letting it happen again." Kazuma said looking fierce.
"We'll see in due time my dear brother." Arashi said looking fiercer.
"Until that time, I'm hungry." Kazuma said
"Yeah I am too." Arashi said
"But we have to train first." Kazuma said
"Right," Arashi said looking far across the village. "Training area number six looks empty." Arashi threw a three-pronged kunai as Kazuma threw a kunai with a blade on each side.
"Let's go, Yellow Flash Jutsu!" Kazuma said as he disappeared in a yellow flash.
"Wait for me!" Arashi said disappearing as well.
They both were in the training area. Smiling at one another.
"Ready Arashi?" Kazuma asked as he had his fingers crossed with one another.
"Yeah, ready Kazu." Arashi said getting in the same stance.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" they both yelled as hundreds of copies of themselves appeared in the trees.
"Alright guys!" Arashi yelled "You know what we have to do, right?!"
"Yeah!" they all yelled
"Then let's get started!" Kazuma yelled "We have only until seven before this dorky looking thing over here has his date with Kushina-chan." The Kazuma clones chuckled
"And this loser over here has to go home alone. We hope Tsume's puppy doesn't kill him." The Arashi clones laughed hard.
"Let's do the battle of one-hundred and fourteen." Kazuma said
"Same rules?" Arashi asked
"Last one who is standing or last one who has a clone?" Kazuma asked
"Sounds fair." Arashi said
Both of the army of yellow hair charged at each other. There were so many blades and blinding lights of yellow that it looked like a sun fighting with itself. As the battle and the hours droned on, there were signs of puffing smoke. After about three hours of neck-breaking speed battling, there were only seven of each left, all looking extremely tired. As the last seven battles took place, these were in fact the fastest out of the other fifty battles. All going all out, one of the matches was settled, and then another. Until there was only one clone each and themselves. They both settled on a last speed slash. Both charged with extreme speed. And at the axis, where their blows met, only one was standing.
"HAHAH!!! Kazuma wins and that ends the game!!!" Kazuma said in tune to Final Fantasy win music.
"Damn, Epic fail!" Arashi said lying down flat on the ground
"Alright, let's see our progress." Kazuma said going to help his brother up.
Arashi took his hand and took the ram stance. As did Kazuma.
Most of Konoha was accustomed to this every week, a huge roaring blast of chakra coming from the forest of one of the training grounds. It grew exceptionally every day. Though most people don't know where this chakra comes from, they pretty much ignore it knowing it was taken care of. While most Chunin and Jounin above were chuckling silently to themselves, as they knew this was the might of the Shadow Clone Jutsu Brothers.
Nxh592: First Chaptah done!!! I can't believe this one was done. Today, I have two of the greatest detective's in the world, although one was already on the show today, I'm bringing him back out. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, L Lawliet and Shinichi Kudou! I refuse to call him Jimmy Kudo.
Shinichi: and with that, I know you are a true fan of the classics. And more than likely dislike the work of Funimation, since they were the ones who deciphered my name as such.
L: Very perspective Shin, and yes, 592 dislikes most dubs that were done by Funimation since they usually cut out all blood, sex, and alcohol abuse. Which brings us to wonder, how they were able to call Kame Senin perverted. Since mostly what he wanted in the Funimation dub was a kiss from a pretty girl or a walk on the beach.
Shinichi: I agree, to call him desperate would be more like it. I mean in my DUB, they still carried on with the normal story line and did a decent job. But they did cut out a lot that was supposed to be in there.
Nxh592: Correct, but let us not forget about the 4Kids dubbing
L: Let's not get started on them. I mean seriously, why did Sanji-kun have a lollipop in his mouth? To say it sucked just seems like an incredible understatement.
Nxh592: So it's clear that I hate American dubbing. Besides those that keep all the blood, alcohol abuse, and all the original sex jokes. Case in point Orihime and Rangiku.
L & Shinichi: No question.
Nxh592: So on with the questions. Which one of you has a higher IQ?
Shinichi: Well I'm not allowed to take the test anymore
L: same here.
Nxh592: I see so they couldn't see that just because you are a high schooler Shinichi, and you sit weirdly and don't wear socks Ryuzaki, they thought, these guys must be cheating.
Shinichi: That, and the fact the proctor was hitting on Ran.
L: I felt it needed more questions, so I added some onto my test. You know the one that compares Chocolate Peanuts and Newton's three laws of motion? That's mine.
Nxh592: That was one of the questions that was so confusing and crazed I didn't know what to make of it.
L: It's very simple once explained correctly. You see, Newton had not made the laws of motion with an apple to the head as many scientists believed; it was in fact a chocolate peanut that fell from a tree.
(Three hours later)
L: and as you can see, the circumference of the peanut is the only thing that keeps the space-time continuum from creating a time paradox. And the chocolate was the first fruit to be accepted by the Amazon woman of Azuran, and it also explains why I couldn't choose Mello as my protégé.
Nxh592: …that was…brilliant!!!!
Shinichi: I never had that question on the test, but it would have been a challenge to answer then.
L: Indeed, however, I thought they would not possibly put this question in the actual test.
Nxh592: And that one question was the only thing keeping me from passing as genius. So anyway, since you can't take the test anymore, how high do you think you guys would be on the chart?
L: If I were to make an educated guess, I would say about 334.
Shinichi: Well, mine would be considerably high and would probably not be higher than Ryuzaki's. But it would be just about 210.
Nxh592: I see very informing. Next Question, since both of you are credited detectives, what was the hardest cases you've been on?
Shinichi: Well, I'm going to go with the Black Organization, I still need to get the antidote for that poison they gave me.
L: Mine was obviously the Kira case. As Light had defeated me, the case was the only one I did not solve personally.
Nxh592: I see, well that's all for this chapter, keep watching for the next chapter, "Arashi's date! Miracle or Disaster?"
All: Stay Tuned!