AN: Welcome to the new story! We're going to be doing things a bit differently when it comes to a girl trying to pass off as a boy, and hopefully we'll have some fun along the way.

Summary: Edward, smartest student at St. Bart's School for Boys, always thought he was straight. That is, until he met new student Ben Cheney. But what happens when Edward discovers Ben is actually a girl who goes by the name Bella Swan? Also described by a reviewer as "Bella's darkly hysterical quest for manhood." (Thanks, Chess).


When you're a kid in elementary school, you don't ever imagine that one day you'd have to change your gender in order to get the education you need. You don't ever sit there in your miniature chair, sipping on your Juicy Juice, thinking, When I get older, I'm going to pretend to be a boy so I can go to college!

My life used to be so different. It's sad, how people don't have control over their own lives anymore.

My new home is a piece of shit. It's crumbling at the seams, and it's all me and my dad can afford. My new school is dilapidated. It was even designed and built by the same man who designed and built the prison off the highway.

At my old school we would all joke about how our high school is prison, how much it resembles hell. It's only ironic, now, that I find myself in a place exactly like the satanic institution I once I imagined I was educated in.

The reality is that I don't deserve this life. I used to have things so good, and I want it all back. I want it back now.

I stared at the green wallpaper decorating my room as another corner of it began to peel off right before my eyes. The only way someone would know how I was feeling as I watched my home deteriorate around me would be by the singular tear crawling down my cheek.

It's the only one I've actually let escape from my eyes in months.

Fuck this shit, fuck this shit, fuck this shit. Fucking stop crying.

Stupid fucking tear, you let one loose and a hundred others start to fall.

"Bella?" Charlie called through the door. God damn, no one is supposed to hear me. But that's bullshit, I can hear the neighbors in the duplex beside us pathetically fucking each other all night.

I took a deep breath before I called out, "Yeah, dad. I'm fine."

I heard his feet shuffling away from my door and let out a deep sigh. I have to get it together.

But this place fucking reeks. There's this stench that lives in the walls and now our furniture. There's an ant crawling out of the crack in the wall by the only useless window in my room. The damn thing doesn't even open, and during the winter my room was a freaking ice box due to all the cold air it let in.

Shit! Here I go again, about to cry.

Don't let it out, don't let it out, don't let it out. Don't let yourself fucking cry over it.

I took a dozen shaky breaths before I was confident the tears wouldn't come back. No, I'm not fucking crying over my sorry excuse for a life, my piece of shit school, or my decaying house, because tomorrow I'm finally going to try and take control. I'm going to change it all. Again.

I'm not even going to be called fucking Bella Marie Swan anymore.

Nope, fuck that. She's gone. You can call me Ben Cheney, and tomorrow I'm going to be the new member of the senior graduating class of 2009 at St. Bartholomew's School for Boys.