A Hogwarts Christmas Carol

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowling and Charles Dickens. Mr. Dickens also owns the story I have based this on. The idea and actual story are mine, though.

Special thanks to HotShot and Lalita Padma for reading over my work, and encouraging me. Merry Christmas!

1 Cast List

Narrator . Author

Scrooge . Draco Malfoy

Fred . Fred Weasley

George . George Weasley

Bob Cratchit . Harry Potter

Charity People . Charlie Weasley

Bill Weasley

Fleur Delacour

Viktor Krum

Caroler . Collin Creevey

Assistant Narrators . Dobby the House Elf

Winky the House Elf

Ghost of Christmas Past . Hermione Granger

Marley . Vincent Crabbe

Jarvie . Gregory Goyle

Fan . Cho Chang

1.1 Dick Wilkins . Oliver Wood

1.2 Mr. Fezziwig . Albus Dumbledore

Mrs. Fezziwig . Minerva McGonagall

Belle . Pansy Parkinson

Ghost of Christmas Present . Ron Weasley

Peter Cratchit . Percy Weasley

Mrs. Cratchit . Ginny Weasley

Belinda Cratchit . Lavender Brown

Martha Cratchit . Parvati Patil

1.3 Tiny Tim . Dennis Creevey

1.4 Fred's Wife . Angelina Johnson

George's Wife . Katie Bell

Ghost of Christmas Future . Peter Pettigrew

Little boy . Rubeus Hagrid

With special appearances . What? You expect me to spoil the surprise?

1.4.1 Act I: Marley and Jarvie's Ghosts

Narrator: Marley and Jarvie were dead to begin with. Everyone knew that except for Scrooge. He seemed not to care or was maybe too thick to understand that they had died. No one knew or wanted to find out. The young miser was sitting in his room, counting galleons, sickles, and knuts. He had his door open so he could observe his clerk, Mr. Cratchit. Scrooge suddenly heard two cheerful voices from behind, and turned around quickly.

Fred: Merry Christmas, Uncle!

George: God bless you!

Scrooge: Why did you say God bless you? I didn't sneeze.

1.5 George: It's Christmas, Uncle!

1.6 Scrooge: Bah humbug!

Fred: Peppermint humbugs?!

Scrooge: No, I said bah humbug. B-a-h h-u-m-b-u-g. Can't you pay attention?

Fred: No.

Scrooge: What do you want?

Fred & George: We came to invite you to Christmas dinner.

Scrooge: Are you insane?! Why on Earth would I want to have Christmas dinner with you two?! All that fatty food will ruin my girlish figure.

* Fred and George start rolling around on the ground from laughing so hard. *

Fred: Oh no, we would never want you to ruin your figure by spending Christmas with your family, auntie.

* Fred and George run out before Scrooge can figure out what Fred said about him. In letting them out, the clerk has let three gentlemen and a lady in. *

Scrooge: * mumbling * Great, another lot of Christmas kooks.

Charlie: Scrooge, Marley, and Jarvie's, I believe? Whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?

Scrooge: Mr. Scrooge, because Mr. Marley and Mr. Jarvie are lazy gits who haven't come to work for the past seven years.

1.7 Bill: Uh, ok. Whatever you say. * Looks at Charlie and shrugs. *

Fleur: We are collecting funds to provide common necessities for ze under privileged wizards in London. At zis festive time of year, it is especially meaningful to donate.

* Scrooge gets wild look in eyes and runs to the door of his money room. *

Scrooge: You can't have my money! They're mine, all mine. * goes over to pile of galleons and starts talking to them. * It's all right, my sweets. I won't let them take you away.

Krum: Vot is vrong with him?

Fleur: Maybe we should leave zis place.

* Fleur, Krum, Bill, and Charlie walk out rather quickly, mumbling about young people these days. A young boy walks up to the keyhole of Scrooge's door and starts singing. *

Colin: .Santa baby.

* Scrooge runs to get his wand. *

Scrooge: Stop singing that song and GET OUT, before I hex you!!!

Dobby: Dobby is agreeing with Scrooge for once. That song is evil.

Winky: Dobby is wrong. That song is good song. Mr. Crouch liked it. * starts bawling.*

Scrooge: Stop bawling, you stupid elf!

* Young woman suddenly appears and starts yelling at Scrooge. *

Hermione: Lay off the elf, or else! I'll be back, too! * she disappears. *

Mr. Cratchit: Sir, can I please have Christmas off?

Scrooge: Yes, but only because I don't want to have to hear your Merry Christmas junk. You had better be all the earlier the next day!

* Mr. Cratchit wraps a threadbare cloak around himself and disapparates. Scrooge seals the building with magic, then disapparates also. *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* Scrooge is now standing in front of an aging mansion. He walks inside and goes upstairs. When he opens his bedroom door, he is shocked to see it looks like the set of a Muggle game show. Adding to the shock are two ghosts sitting in chairs. They turn towards him and one speaks. *

Marley: Hello, Scroogie. How nice to see you. Surprised, are you? Didn't you know we died? * Scrooge stands there looking like someone Stupefied him, and slowly shakes his head after a while. * No? I should have known. You're too thick to understand, or maybe you just don't care? Or is it both?

Jarvie: Welcome to 'We're giving you one last chance to redeem yourself, you thick-headed miser. Marley, first question.

Marley: What is the most important thing for a man to do with his life?

Scrooge: Get rich, of course!

Jarvie: Wrong!! The answer is to reach out and help your fellow men, you oaf! Next question!

Marley: Why are we wearing these chains?

Scrooge: Um, new fashion?

Jarvie & Marley: WRONG, YOU FOP!! It's because we were miserly gits in life!

Jarvie: You will be visited by three spirits who are going to try to help you.

Marley: I feel sorry for them. Poor spirits.

* They vanish and leave Scrooge by himself, alone in his room which has been returned to normal. *