Warning: Spoilers from S4 finale!
"Who are you?"
The words had torn at her like a dagger through paper. At first, she had been so startled by the feeling, she had thought she was having some sort of coronary reaction to all the distress she had been feeling while anxiously awaiting for Booth to awaken. It wasn't until she had felt the wetness down her cheeks that she realized she was crying and the pain she was feeling wasn't physical. Her heart had been broken. Her lips tugged into a bitter smile as the thought invaded her mind. Her heart had been broken? It sounded like something Angela would say to her. Angela…well, speak of the devil.
Her first reaction was to turn away but she knew her friend had already seen the tears that she had allowed to freely roll down her cheeks. "Um…I think I should go home and shower and get a change of clothes…I'm no use here, anyway. Booth's awake and…"
"Honey." Angela repeated herself more firmly this time and added a hand on Brennan's to make her point. "I'm so sorry…"
Brennan shook her head and looked at Angela with furrowed eyebrows. "Sorry? There's nothing to be sorry about. Booth's awake. He's fine."
"But he's not. He doesn't remember you."
"Who are you?"
The words rang in her ears and she had to dip her head to stop Angela from seeing the tears that had pooled in her eyes again.
Realizing she had just further opened her friend's wound, Angela made a sheepish face and sighed, "I'm sorry. I know this is hard." Brennan gave her another look. "It's supposed to be hard. I know how much he means to you…but I also know how much you mean to him. It's just a matter of time before he remembers you. The doctor said…"
Brennan nodded fervently as if the mention of 'doctor' somehow pulled her back into her logical, unemotional reality. "The doctor said the amnesia is common and usually subsides in a couple of months. I know. I knew that there had to be side effects to the surgery. I knew that short-term memory loss was a possibility. This doesn't surprise me."
Angela shook her head, not close to being convinced. "You're hurt and that's ok. It's ok to be hurt. The guy you like, the guy who probably wouldn't have even known he had been sick if you hadn't insisted he come in here for a check-up, the guy you held vigil beside for the last four days has finally awaken and he doesn't remember you. You're supposed to be hurt, sweetie. What you're not supposed to do is pretend like you're ok when you're not."
"There's no use in being hurt. It's not his fault. He's not purposely forgetting me…it's a side effect. It would be selfish for me to be hurt."
Sighing loudly, Angela threw her head back and resigned herself to the fact that Brennan would always be Brennan. "Can you just promise me that you won't retreat into that overly logical, no feelings allowed, everything has to make sense world of yours? I know that's what you wanna do but sometimes not everything is logical. Not everything has to make sense. Sometimes you need to let your feelings through. If there's anything….anyone who can help Booth remember you, it's you."
You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. That's the burden.