I got it done earlier than I expected!.. um, just Chapter 1 though...
A little chaptered fic off the AU I wrote in the Fic Meme a couple of weeks ago.
Props for the title go to Tommy Tutone. (sorry, I had nothing else... :( )

Title: 867-5309 Renji (For a Good Time Call)
Pairing: must I? It's ByaRen- RenBya? Haven't decided.
Rating: R only for language right now.. quite gratuitous swearing.
Warnings: slight crack. disturbing occupations. incomplete thoughts (...uhh mine)
Summary: Renji is a part-time phone sex operator. Byakuya is a high powered CEO, all alone in a foreign country... they cross lines.

Chapter 1

"Oh yeah, baby… just like that. Daddy likes that…" the redhead growled, ".. you gonna be a good girl today?"

The brunette sitting at the kitchen table eating his breakfast looked up at his roommate as the other walked into the room; morning newspaper in one hand, cordless telephone up to his ear in the other.

Shuhei tried to ignore the vulgar language falling so heedlessly from Renji's mouth, but somehow… he was beginning to lose interest in his cornflakes.

It was the redhead's grunts and moans that were making him very interested. Fuck. His dick twitched at that voice Renji was using… and he wasn't even in on the fucking conversation!

Renji then settled himself into the other chair across from Shuhei and gave him a morning salutation in the form of a head nod and accompanying smirk, and continued, "Hike your dress up a bit for daddy… Mmm, that's good…. You wanna bend over the table for me, sweatheart? "

Shuhei shot him the most disgusted look he could muster… Really… He didn't know whether to laugh or fucking call Child Protective Services… or something… because that was just all wrong.

Ignoring his roommate's dirty looks, Renji nonchalantly opened up the newspaper and flipped over to the job ads. Whilst continuing with his conversation, his eyes quickly skimmed the black and white boxes, looking for possible job opportunities. His other hand blindly scrambled up to the refrigerator door and pulled the pen off the grocery list pad they kept up there; he then proceeded to circle a few ads of interest.

His moaning and panting escalated, as did his obscenity laced expressions; until finally, he concluded his business and hung up, looking at his watch to log down the time.

Shuhei looked at his own watch. 7:45am. Geez. Fuckin' perverts.

"What the hell, Renji? Can't you do that…" at a loss for words, Shuhei simply waved a hand in front of his face, "stuffnot while I'm eating? I'm gonna get fucking indigestion listening to all that pervert shit," he griped.

Renji stood up to open the refrigerator and proceeded root around inside it. He came out with a plastic container of what looked like last week's spaghetti dinner. Lifting the lid to sniff at it and determining that it was still edible, the redhead tossed it into the microwave for a quick heating up.

"Perverts pay, Shuu... and this company pays very well, too. I don't hear you complainin' when the rent's due." Renji added, voice dropping into a sultry purr and quirking his eyebrow in a suggestive manner, "…besides, Shu-Shu, I know you like it when I talk dirty."

Fuck. His voice was hot.

Shaking his head, Shuhei chuckled and flipped him the finger. "Fuck off dude, before I bring you over to the Dark Side." He poured himself a second bowl of cornflakes, and feeling a bit mischievous himself replied, "You know, Ren… if you're curious and all, I can always help you out with that." Hisagi looked over, laughter twinkling in his eyes; and dropped his own voice into a nice seductive tease, "I promise to be gentle."

Abarai froze as he was taking the spaghetti out of the microwave, burning his fingers for his hesitation, "Ow! Fuck!" he swore, dropping the container onto the counter, and sucking his fingers into his mouth. "…Uh, no thanks! I like my women to be… women."

His roommate laughed wholeheartedly this time, "Sure, sure…. just let me know when you want to face the truth. My door is always open to you, sunshine."

"Fuck you, Shuu."

"You wish, Abarai."

Renji sat at his computer, logging in the clients and phone calls he got for the day. It was a fairly straightforward operation.

He had a separate phone line installed in his apartment that came directly from the company. His phone number was a general one put into the company directory; clients could call and randomly get him, or once they knew who he was and preferred him, they could call direct to his number. All calls directed thru the company were already logged into his account. For all the others, he simply turned in his monthly phone bill for comparison to what he independently logged in; and was paid by the minute for the time of each phone call.

It was good part time money. Hell, he was getting pretty popular with the ladies… and, yeah, he would admit… a couple of men too. It was just talking, right? No harm in that.

Renji was a natural at making people feel comfortable, of letting go of their inhibitions. There was never any falsity in his voice, no judgment or condemnation; his was a seductive, encouraging growl… full bodied and strong. It made you want to take a bite out of him… or let him take a bite out of you.

He couldn't say he wasn't disappointed that his first love, being an artist and a sculptor, wasn't panning out as he wanted. But he was still a young man, only a few years out of school and apprenticeship, and he was taking opportunities at gallery events to network and show off his art. He was sure, it was just a matter of time... and currently, it was just a little slow going, is all.

Friends helped him out where they could. Orihime always commissioned him for an ice sculpture at her catered events. At the not-so-stodgy ones he would even show up with this chain saw and do the whole show-off bit with the original block of ice; shaping it into a beautiful bunny rabbit (at little girls events) or terrifying snake (at boys events) when he could get away with it.

In fact, there would be another local artisan showing in a few weeks, and Renji had planned on exhibiting a few select items. The dream of launching his work kept his side job in phone-porn a little more tolerable. Bills had to get paid, right?

It was 10:00pm, and he was just about to head on out to meet Shuhei and some other friends at the bar half a block away; when his business phone began to ring. He looked at the number on the caller ID, and noted it was a random call run thru the business directory. Renji debated on letting it ring thru and let someone else pick it up… but thought, why not? What's a couple of minutes? Another round at the bar, that's what. On me.

He reached over, to pick up the headset. It would keep his hands free so he could get ready to go while talking to the client.

"Hello?..." he said, dropping his voice nice and warm, ".. and with whom do I have the pleasure of this night?"

The caller on the other end remained silent, not responding. Renji heard the distant sound of classical music in the background, so he did not think the connection had been broken, or mangled. His client was just…. hesitant.

Shy? He'd had a few regulars that had started off shy… but were now more than talkative and ready to go. This was not a problem.

"Hmm… mystery caller?" he inquired, "I like that… except, I can't be who you want, if you don't tell me… what you want." The redhead walked out of the 'office', crossed the hallway and into his bedroom. Still no response.

"How about we start off slow, with just a name… if you like, you don't even have to tell me your real one… but I'd think you'd like for me to be calling out to you…" he lowered his voice to an almost conspiring tone, "... while I'm coming, yeah?" ..and he smirked as he spoke, knowing the sentiment would get thru to the other side.

Renji opened his closet and walked in, looking for a pair of clean blue jeans. In the darkness there, as he hadn't turned on the light, he heard his client finally respond.


It was one word, uttered in a silky smooth, honeyed caress into his ear. Because he had the headset on, it felt like it was being whispered not one inch from where he stood. Renji felt his eye lids flutter, as a shiver eased down his spine. He fought not to lean toward the side where his earpiece told him his client stood beside him.

It was a man's voice. A deep, rich baritone that for some reason, made certain parts of Renji take notice. He hadn't even said his name in an overtly sexual way; the redhead realized it was just his normal conversational pitch.

Oh, this phone call was going to be good.

Shaking himself out of his momentary trance, and wondering if he had been quiet a little too long, the operator finally responded.

"Well, hello there… Byakuya," he smiled, and purred into the mouthpiece, "…my name is Renji."

Abarai showed up at the bar over an hour later; a wide smile on his face… something about it made him look more relaxed than Shuhei had seen him in quite a while. He watched as the tattooed redhead chatted up the bouncer at the door on the way in; a burly man who wore sunglasses-- even at night… what a doob.

Renji saw him at the table and worked his way through the crowd.

"I got you a pint, it's a little warm... thought you'd be here sooner," Shuhei groused and nudged the now room temperature beer over toward the newcomer. Hisagi gave him the once over and noted, "You look like you just got laid…"

"Hey, thanks!" The redhead gratefully took the offered beverage and downed a good half of it in one draught. His eyes widened a bit at his roommate's observation; and he offered up a lazy smile in return, "Nah… new client."

"I've never seen any client of yours give you that kind of smile, you perv."

Renji opened his mouth to sling back another retort, when a face in the crowd caught his eye; it tickled a memory in the back of his brain. Distracted, he tried tracking the raven head of hair thru the bar, but lost it amongst the rapidly increasing body count. He turned back to his conversation.

"Where's the rest of the guys?"

"They went in back to play some pool," Hisagi gestured with a thumb towards the end of the bar. "I told 'em I'd wait out here for you, so you wouldn't think we ditched you or somethin'."

"Aww… that's so sweet of you, Shuu," Abarai cooed, and pretended to wipe a tear off the corner of his eye and for good measure, added a little wibbly lip. "You'd make a swell boyfriend." Another smirk.

Shuhei snorted his beer, "Shut up, dickwad. Don't make me regret being nice to you."


The redhead turned and looked… down… into a pair of sparkling violet eyes and a large hopeful smile. This was the jet black hair he had tried to track earlier.


"Renji! Is it really you?" She took him all in -- tattoos, bright crimson pony tail, wide smile, tattoos… "You look great!"

"Rukia!" he shouted happily, and turning to give her a hug, he picked her up and spun her around; she was still as tiny as ever. Her laughter rang in his ears. How long had it been?

"Easy, buddy." Renji felt a hand land on his arm as he came full circle, and tensed instantly. He looked to his side and saw a scowling face with bright orange hair.

"Get the fuck off me, asshole," he threatened. Renji was a good half a foot taller than the boy who had his hand on him… and at least 20 pounds of muscle heavier. He could take him.

"Ichigo!" Rukia admonished, "I'm the one who approached him, remember? He's okay, I know this guy!"

If it was at all possible, the scowl deepened. But the hand moved away, and Ichigo stepped back behind Rukia once again… scanning the rest of the bar nondescriptly.

Chocolate eyes roamed with purpose alighting upon everyone in the area; assessing, reassessing, then mentally crossing them out. When they landed upon the brunette with the vulgar tattoo standing at the bar table behind the tall redhead, the eyes hung on for a split second longer.

Shuhei smiled and gave a quick wink, while tipping his beer back for a swallow. It would only have been seen if you were looking at it. He saw a faint pinkish tint grace the high cheekbones in reaction, a brief second before it was willed away. He grinned wider.

Renji glanced back at his childhood friend, a questioning look in his amber gaze. He nodded toward the orange-head, asking without words… what's going on?

Sheepishly, Rukia dropped her eyes to the side, and quietly replied, "He's my bodyguard… Nii-sama makes him come with me everywhere." She looked back up at him, smiling again, "Ichigo's really nice once you get to know him."

Nii-sama…was that her brother? Renji knew a little bit of Japanese; he appreciated the artistic style and could get by with basic words and phrases…uh, although he mainly attributed that to watching anime and reading manga. Hell, at least he could swear in Japanese…

Nice?... "I'll bet," he scoffed.

He recalled that Rukia had been adopted by a very wealthy Japanese family… something about her being a long lost sister. That had been over 10 years ago. He hadn't seen her since.

"So what brings you back here?" the redhead inquired with a warm smile.

"Oh!" Rukia started up excitedly again, "Nii-sama is opening up a new hotel here in America! He says it will be our flagship hotel to twin the one we have in Japan." Her eyes twinkled up at him, "We get to stay here for awhile." She looked around and hesitated before asking, "Can I call you, Renji? You're the only one I know here."

Renji's eyebrows arched up in surprise, but he'd be more than happy to spend some time with an old childhood friend, "Sure! Let me give you my number."

The CEO of Kuchiki Industries lounged in his penthouse apartment.

He played back in his mind, the sensual purr and rough edge of the voice on the other end of the phone line earlier this night... Renji. His voice was delicious.

"I can be anyone you want, Byakuya… "

It had been a spur of the moment thing, to call the phone number. He had seen it in the back of one of the magazines here in the hotel. Well, his new hotel that he would soon be rebuilding, renovating and upgrading to a Five Star designation… up from the current four star hovel that it was.

Currently he was without companionship, in a foreign country, and he was not into picking up strangers… so the phone sex line seemed an interesting prospect. Then, picking a man's line versus a woman's was almost like an afterthought… his fingers simply picked one button over another.

"You sound like a man who's always in control of everything… d' you want me to take that control away from you?"

There were no eyes watching him here, unlike in his homeland, with his almost celebrity-like status. Here, he could come and go as he pleased, with obscurity. It felt strangely liberating to be anonymous… he could even let his fantasies play out to a voice he would only hear at night; to a face he'd never see in broad daylight.

"Mmmm… that was wonderful... Call me again, sometime… Byakuya."

His stay in America may just be worth it after all, he mused. The telecommunications entertainment alone was quite exceptional.