Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: This is my first fanfic, I wanted to start with something short and easy. Oh, and I don't speak French, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes…

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It's twenty past Victoria Beckham and secretary Linda Flint is receiving another student in her office. I had a secretary once, but she sued me and got a restraining order for sexual harassment. How was I supposed to know that those were her breasts and not her eyes???

Linda Flint is sitting at her desk and someone knocks at the door. It's Emily Howard, who comes in and sits opposite Linda.

Linda: (looking puzzled at Emily) I'm sorry, we don't do parental visits here…

Emily: (laughing loudly and exaggeratedly) Parental visits? But I'm a student, a laaaaaady student, you see!

Linda: Right. What can I do for you?

Emily: Well, I would like some information on courses. I'd like to sign up for a new course, s'il vous plaite.

Linda: Of course! And what kind of courses would you be interested in?

Emily: Yes, I'd like to take a laaaaaadies' course. Something about oppression, and feminism, and shit.

Linda: Hummm… I think we might have exactly what you're looking for. The course is called 'Introduction to Gender Studies', and it deals with the very topics you mentioned.

Emily: (excitedly) Oh, c'est magnifique! Could I have the timetables, s'il vous plaite?

Linda: Well, I don't have them here right now… Martin will know (she dials the telephone) Martin, it's Linda. Got a student in here who'd like to know the timetables for 'Introduction to Gender Studies' (Pause) It's… (to Emily) I'm sorry, darling, what was your name again?

Emily: It's Emily, Emily Howard, and I'm a laaaady!

Linda: (to Martin on the phone) It's Emily Howard. (Pause) How can I describe it? Curly brown hair, very elegant clothes… slightly old-fashioned, though. Looks like she just came from some centuries ago… Wears a lot of make-up… Probably hiding a third leg below the dress… (Pause) That's right, Priscilla Queen of the Desert! (Pause. Emily looks very offended) He says it's Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 to 12.