Okay, I am making no promises here but I hate to leave a story unfinished. This and The Other Harvelle Girl have alluded me for months, hell fairly certain it's pushing past a year now. I would like to get this to one of the two endings I had in mind when I began, although perhaps not my number one choice.
To be honest I have two other SOA fanfics I'm more inspired to do right now but I have no intentions of posting them just now before I give myself the chance to finish this one.
This chapter is mostly just to deal with the aftermath of Jayden's cheating because it would kind of ruin future chapters if I don't get it out of the way here.
Chapter Eleven: Aftermath
Jax evidently hasn't been lying when he promised her a fresh start; he really did intend to start over this whole relationship with her. He hadn't once mentioned the fact that she had sex with someone else, hadn't even asked who it had been and for that she was eternally grateful because she had no intention of ever getting in between two brothers. Besides it wasn't like herself and Happy were going to do the nasty again anytime soon, they were barely civil at the best of times, it wasn't like she had any squishy romantic feelings for him or him her. In fact she highly doubted he'd so much as look at her again given his past history and she knew he respected Jax too much to brag about it.
Although the guilt had been weighing heavy on her since that night she couldn't help but think it had been a blessing in disguise for them. Jax had been downright attentive since he'd shown up at her apartment. He'd been taking her everywhere she needed to go, even forgoing the bike because he knew she hated riding on it. He'd also taken to bringing her coffee on the mornings she was helping out around the garage and she hadn't seen him so much as look at another girl never mind talk to one. That didn't change the fact that she was hating every goddamn minute of it. He was smothering her beyond belief, showering her with so much love and attention that she was on the verge of telling him to knock it the hell off. Jax and her worked because they fought; nothing was more satisfying to them than a good blow out, even when it was playful in nature. He kept her on her toes, challenging her while she kept him in line, reminding him that he couldn't always get what he wanted. It was how it had always been for them even when they'd been kids and she'd shot him down when he'd tried to hit on her in front of all his friends. So she couldn't understand why he was trying to change that now. Okay she could but whenever she tried to make the extra effort with him he brushed her off and told her he didn't need her to do anything. She found it hard to believe that some part of him deep down didn't believe that she had some begging to do. It was more than suspicious and had her back up from the get go. This was how they found themselves on the verge of a nuclear fight, which had innocently started with what film they should watch.
"Maybe I don't wanna fight with you; last time I did you used it as an excuse to go screw some random guy!"
"You really wanna go there with me?" Her mouth settled into a hard line, "There is a number of shit I could call you on right, shit you have done that's hurt me and I'm not just talking about the things that have happened since we started fooling around."
He shook his head in anger and insisted, "That's in the past."
She threw up her hands in disbelief, "Then why isn't this?"
"Because I didn't realise I'd got myself stuck with an unloyal whore."
The sound of her hand hitting his face echoed throughout the now silent apartment and she pushed back angry and hurt tears. She knew on some level that she deserved his anger but one stupid mistake did not make her a whore and he definitely had no right to accuse of her of being anything but loyal to him and his club. She could tell by the look on his face he regretted it saying it but he was too stubborn and proud to apologise for it. She scoffed knowing this was one of many things that annoyed her endlessly about him. They stood awkwardly in silence neither wanting to be the first to say something but eventually Jax cleared his throat.
Jax scrubbed a hand over his face before quietly admitting, "I slept with Tara."
Jayden blinked slowly as she absorbed the words and then let out a disbelieving laugh, "You slept with Tara? You just stood there and called me a whore for sleeping with someone else, when I thought we were practically over by the way, when you did the exact same thing. Only I wasn't in love with my one night stand!"
"I don't love her. It just happened and I was gonna tell you but then you told me you fuc-slept with someone else and I though finally little Jayden messes up and I didn't want to feel like the only fuck up in this relationship for once."
"Oh heaven forbid the Prince looks bad!" She smiled bitterly and made her way to her closet to pull out her leather jacket, "You're disgusting."
Jax was hot on her heels as he followed her, "Hey, I'm not the only one in the wrong here."
She nodded in agreement as she struggled to tug on her jacket, "No, you're not but I was honest Jax I told you from the get go what happened and I felt like crap for it and I was so grateful you forgave me. Then these past couple of weeks you were so attentive and I felt unworthy of it and now I find out it was all because you felt guilty?"
He was quiet for a moment before sighing, "I don't know what to say here, Jay,"
She rolled her eyes and shouldered past him to wrench open the door of her flat, fully intending in storming out before she stopped and quietly clicked the door closed again. She knew that if she walked out now that they would just go right back into denial and end up hating each other. Things were messed up but she honestly believed they could work through it and fix it; if they didn't do it now they'd never repair their relationship.
She closed her eyes and waited tense as she asked a question she was dreading the answer to, "Do you love me?"
Jax startled not expecting her to ask him that, "What?"
"Do you love me?" She repeated as she slowly turned to face him.
Jax stared at the vulnerable look on her face; he'd never really seen her so open with her emotions before, "Yeah, yeah. I love you." He paused and swallowed hard afraid of the next words out of her mouth, "Do you love me?"
Jax tried to push back the surge of happiness that bloomed in his chest at her revelation, "What does that mean then?"
"I don't know."