"You said what?!"
The looks I received from my friends only confirmed what I had already been thinking – I had gone mad. Lucas looked ready to tear his hair out, one by one, whilst I was sure Spike was edging closer in order to strangle me with his bare hands. I honestly considered letting him just do it, to end the dramatic misery that was my life, but I knew my mother wouldn't be impressed if she had to drag my dead corpse out onto the curb in front of all the neighbours. She'd probably curse my soul to hell herself if she had to deal with my mess again, if she hadn't done so already.
"I said no," I repeated for the third time.
"But, Buffy, you lo-"
"Let's not go there with the L word, Will," I muttered, dropping my head into my hands.
I felt Lucas massage my shoulders and I looked up at him, staring at him straight in the eye. I knew I could always find honesty in his blue orbs. I could see the concern shining there, almost as if he was silently begging me to reconsider my decision, but I merely shook my head and allowed myself to lean into his embrace. I didn't realise that this simple gesture would remind me of all the memories I had shared with Angel. It had been so long since I had last enjoyed his presence that the happiness I associated with him was slowly diminishing, leaving me with nothing but memories. And I realised, in that exact moment, that I had made a mistake.
"I'm an idiot."
"Glad you're finally seeing sense, love," Spike smiled, patting me on the back patronisingly.
I stood up and shrugged on my jacket. "I'm going to get him."
"Oh, give up! I don't need your crap now. Lucas, can you drive me?" I asked, giving him a look that meant he had no choice anyhow.
He rolled his eyes, fully aware of what my look meant. As he shrugged on his jacket, I took the keys from the sofa and headed for the door, leaving behind my friends and their bewildered faces without another glance. I knew they would probably still be here when I arrived back anyway.
Lucas followed me out of the door, shouting his goodbyes and then jogging down the driveway to catch me up. He flung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I smiled at his gesture, knowing it was his way of showing his support. I was relieved to have his approval because I wanted him to stay and not feel the need to disappear into the background because Angel was going to be back. Something told me he wouldn't leave anyway, not now, not after everything we had shared lately. I just hoped Angel would accept Lucas as easily as I had and not hold any resentment towards him for developing a bond with me. I wouldn't put it passed Angel to get jealous but I prayed he had learnt something from this experience that would force him to consider his approach to other men in my life. After all, he was my best friend as much as Lucas was.
"Can we stop for food first?" Lucas grinned.
I rolled my eyes. Did this boy seriously think about anything over than his stomach?
"Sure… Not like we have places to be."
"Oh, phew, that's good because I can hear McDonalds screaming my name!" he laughed, pulling out of the driveway.
I pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to Lucas. I had asked my mom to give me the address of Angel's grandma's house, not even bothering to question her as to why she had it in the first place. I guess my mom and Tara shared more than I was aware of – just like Angel and I used to. Before the melancholy set in, I reminded myself that I was going to drag his cocky ass back to Sunnydale and back into my life, reclaiming the friendship we once shared and possibly pushing it further. Picturing Angel as my boyfriend just felt so right now. It was almost laughable now that we 'hated' each other's guts a few months back, pranking each other every day in order to see who was best at pissing who off. It was scary thinking about how much had changed.
"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" I whispered.
Lucas rolled his eyes. "Seriously? I think you were stupid enough to let him go in the first place, Buffy, especially as he was pretty much begging you to force him to stay. It's shocking that you're that blonde to not even notice!"
"Don't think I won't break your arm just because you're driving," I laughed, giving him a light punch in the arm.
Before he could even reply, my heart froze. It all happened in slow motion. The car on the other side of the road was swerving all over the place, crossing over into our lane and then back into its own. It was obvious that the person behind the wheel was either intoxicated or just couldn't drive at all. I tried to point it out to Lucas but the warning died on my lips.
It was too late.
The car collided with ours before I could even yell at Lucas to pull over. Our car skidded across the road and flipped over as we hit the pavement. I could feel the blood trickling from above my eyebrow, my seat belt cutting into my skin, and I attempted to raise my hand to press it against the wound but darkness slowly crept up on me. I wanted more than anything to check on Lucas and make sure he was alright but I couldn't fight the overwhelming struggle between staying conscious and drifting into unconsciousness.
The last thing I pictured was Angel's face. The boy I loved. The boy who would never know just how much I did love him.
I bet some of you think I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't blame you. I know this seems so random but that's the whole point. I'm eighteen years old and, if I have learnt anything since becoming a teenager, it is that life is so unpredictable and your teenage years are just a jumble of one thing after another.
Hope you liked this update. At least Buffy isn't being stubborn anymore!
I'm considering writing a new fic soon so stay updated!
Lots of love X