Disclaimer: I OWN TRISH- THE REST BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS! NOT ME! Oh, and I also own any other random OC you find here. ^_^
A/N: This was written because the amazing author Phyllis Joy Wolfe and I had an interesting conversation once and I decided to write a fic with this combo as a crossover. Don't know the Thief and the Cobbler? Look. It. Up. It is an amazing film.
Also, check out Phyllis' stories. She's an awesome writer.
Chapter One: Drop-In Why Dontcha?
Long ago, in a far away land, there lived a thief. And a princess. And a former cobbler, now a prince. They lived peacefully… Until one of the worst beings ever waltzed into the city and attempted to take control…
Of course, this is not where the story begins. It begins in the palace, near something shiny and gold as well…
Good morning palace! I've had my latté, plain coffee is out; read the tabloids- Britney, what were you thinking?- and dodged those annoying pests telling me to take a bath. Now it's time to get to work!
The Thief had become a very busy man after he had been released from jail, and now was the head of palace security. Of course, that didn't stop him from getting into his usual humorous trouble.
The Thief scurried down a hall, redecorated beige and green- replacing ZigZag's confusing patterns- on his way to the minaret for his usual guarding of the three golden balls. Of course, it was a challenge to get there.
What wasn't a challenge for the Thief though?
Mm… It seems those strange-nosed advisors are in a tizzy again. He thought as he tiptoed towards the advisors.
"Ack! We are doomed!" One shrieked, falling over.
"Most certainly." Another agreed as the Thief slipped behind a large pot, holding an even larger fern.
What do they feed these plants? 'Juggernaut's Super-Growth Formula?' He thought as he stared up at the giant plant, who seemed to glare back. What are you staring at?
The plant seemed to stop glaring.
"With the golden Scion at risk-" One said.
Golden Scion? Why haven't I heard of this? The Thief thought, climbing up the side of the pot, God knows how, and working his way through the small jungle that was the fern before sticking his head out the other side. And why on earth are they so willy-nilly about blabbing about their golden items? Seriously, someone might steal them.
"-We are at risk of death and destruction!" They wailed in unison before falling over as a group.
Skip the warning- how gold are we talking about here? The Thief thought.
How the advisors didn't see the swarm of flies around one section of the massive fern, we will never know.
The six advisors scrambled to their feet once more as the Thief swatted at the flies.
"To the vault! We shall protect it with our lives!" One proclaimed, the others nodding in agreement, before they scurried away.
Sorry Three Golden Balls, for that was what he called them, minus the "sorry", but I have to see just how gold this Golden Scion is. He thought before leaping from the plant, in his grasp two leaves.
In classic Thief fashion, he soared after the advisors, who were constantly tripping over things thanks to their strange manner of "walking". If they didn't see him coming, they should've smelled him.
Far into the future, not all that far away from The Thief's location in the past, were a tomb raider, an… Well, she was currently a museum curator… Who also worked as a tomb raider/monster hunter, and a monster hunter, all currently knee-deep in sand...
"I told you not to press that button, but did you listen? Nooooooooooooo!" Patricia "Trish" Saes said with an eye roll as she stumbled through the sanding surrounding her and her comrades. "You just like to get on my nerves, don't you?" She snapped, throwing sand at Kurtis.
Kurtis used his telekinesis to throw a shield up, blocking the sand. "Yeah? Well I wasn't the one who ran into a door in my haste to escape the bats!" Kurtis Trent snapped back.
"Why am I trapped with you two?" Lara Croft asked, now up to mid-thigh in sand.
You see, they had been "visiting" a tomb, Lara to find a possibly deadly artifact, Trish because she had been invited and had nothing better to do, and Kurtis because the tomb was rumored to been infested with creatures- and not the cute, cuddly kind- and after a couple of hours of climbing through small tunnels, dodging traps, and one incident where they had awoken a flock of bats, causing Trish to freak out and run into a door, they finally reached a room with a pedestal in the center, the door into the room closing behind them.
At first, Lara and Kurtis had gotten ready for a large armada of monsters coming through the currently-closed doors in the room, while Trish tried to figure out why there was an empty pedestal in the center of the room with a small raised disk on it, before Lara and Kurtis's fears became true. But as the monsters flooded into the room, Kurtis had spotted the button and, in a moment of stupidity and miss-translating the ruins around them, slammed his palm down onto the raised disk, really a large button. The area around the pedestal fell in, dropping them down a large slide.
Of course it wasn't as easy as sliding for a while before landing uncomfortably at the bottom.
Sand began pouring down the tunnel behind them, giving them reason to worry, before the slide deposited them in a pile of sand, the new sand falling on them.
They fought their way to their feet and started across the long room, sand still pouring in, but at a manageable amount.
Or it was, until more chutes opened, pouring more sand into the room.
That was how they ended up wading through sand, Trish and Kurtis bickering like siblings.
"Look- it's this simple: You should've read the hieroglyphics faster!" Kurtis yelled.
"I DON'T READ HIEROGLYPHICS" Trish roared.
With a shake of her head and a click of her tongue, Lara spoke. "Does anyone hear something?" She asked as the room started to shake.
"Oh boy." Trish said before the floor dropped out from under them, all of them screaming as they fell down a dark tunnel.
"I hate traps!" Trish yelled over the roar of the wind.
"I wish I had never come!" Kurtis yelled.
"Does anyone see that light?" Lara yelled.
The other two looked and, indeed, they were falling towards a bright light.
"What the- AH!" Kurtis yelled before they landed on a sand dune, rolling down it.
As they rolled they caught glimpses of a nearby city- a strange looking one at that. When they finally rolled to a stop, Kurtis was the first to look up, his eyes pinwheels.
"Oh- look at the spinning city." Kurtis slurred. Seconds later he had passed out, drooling as well.
The other two nodded, Trish curling into a ball and covering her eyes, while Lara rolled onto her back, draping an arm over her eyes.
As the three lay in the desert, the guards of the city gates noticed them.
"Looks like The Thief had some friends dropping in." One said in a very Reno like manner.
"Literally." The other said in a Rude manner.
First chapter… Do you like it? Please message me to let me know- Or not. Whatever. And a shout-out: This fic is dedicated to all you The Thief and The Cobbler fans who, like me, notice the lack of fics for it on the site. I hope you like it! ^-^ And did anyone catch the X-Men: Evolution/Final Fantasy VII mentions in the fic? …If not, they were mentioned with the giant plant and the two guards at the end…
And yes, I have edited this fic.