Hidden Identities

Chapter One –Papercut

Song: Now You Know by Hilary Duff

Dear Diary,

It's been a week, almost. I'm close to losing it. I can't take the pain anymore. The pain of loneliness. The funeral's tomorrow, I don't want it to come. They say it's the final goodbye but I don't want to say goodbye. Bella's still not shed one single tear, not even when she found out. Me? I've cried every single day. I've stayed off school for a week and I've got a week left off. "They understand." How can they understand? They're not the orphan!

Bella says I have her, Edward, Nessie and the rest of the Cullens as family. But they're not. They are their own little family. They're all I've got, I suppose. So I'm moving in with them tomorrow. Emmett and Jasper are moving our things while we get ready for the funeral. Then lock up the house full of our memories. The ones we have of our dad. The estate agent's coming over so we can give her the keys before the funeral. I feel guilty because I didn't even organise the funeral, Alice did, only because Bella wouldn't and I didn't want to do it either.

I wonder whether Bella will cry tomorrow. Nessie will, despite only being 2 she understood that her Grandpa Charlie had gone and was never coming back. She adored him as much as I did.

I can't get my head around this. The fact that my parents are dead. One of them of cancer the other of a heart attack. We knew one was coming whether we liked it or not but I knew that the heart attack had no reason for. Simply random. Dead, they were dead anyway. No way of getting them back. I miss them so much! It hurts to think, it hurts to breathe. How I'll survive tomorrow is beyond me because I'm only surviving because I'm at my dad's house so I feel like he's here. Like he's watching over me.


"Tallie! Dinner's ready!" Bella called up the stairs. I snapped my book down quickly and ran down the stairs two at a time. Bella was standing by the sink, staring out of the window as if she could see beyond the trees. Her body was facing the window, her arms folded across her chest. She used to be so slender and warm, now she's cold and gorgeous. Her eyes had changed too. Brown to a topaz and close to black. Weird is one way of putting it.

"Hey Talls." She said, turning towards me. Her nostrils flared and her eyes became dark in a flash. Her eyes focused on my finger. I looked down to see a drop of blood on the pad of my finger.

"Papercut." I whispered with a small smile. I've been unable to talk properly for days now without it breaking. So I didn't. I watched Bella as she became more aware of the blood. She was focused on that and nothing else. Next thing I know is that her mouth and nose was covered and she bolted out the door.

"I mean come on! She hates blood but dang!" I muttered. I went over to where Bella stood before and rinsed the blood off my finger. I looked out into the trees and saw a flash of brown fly past. I looked again and it was gone. I dried my finger and sat behind the bowl of pasta Bella had made for me.

I flopped onto the seat and my gaze wasn't where I was now. It was where I was a year ago.

Charlie was leaning on the door. Bella was sitting on the worktop, she still had her original chocolate brown eyes. We were discussing baseball, well, Charlie and I were. We supported the opposite teams but loved the game anyway, no matter who played.

"Johansoon is so much better!" I teased.

"Afraid not Talora." He laughed.

"Hate my freaking name!" I muttered under my breath. Charlie still heard it. I flopped onto my chair as he laughed.

"Tallie! I said you weren't to do that!" Charlie said, trying to be stern. "It wrecks the chairs!" His voice was angry but he was smiling.

"What are you going to do? Arrest me?" I smirked. Bella laughed and Charlie winked at me.

I shook my head and laughed. I'd grown up a lot within a year. I was a happy child, now I'm an orphan. Guess I did something wrong and karma's come to bite me in the ass. I looked at the calendar. 1st December 2007. A year later I'm an orphan. Yeah, karma's definitely related to the devil. My eyes filled up, again. I let out a sob that I was trying to fight. My eyes caught on the clock. 6:03 pm. A week since the beloved town police officer of Forks had died, a week since my father died. A week ago I had nothing to bother about apart from a biology test coming up. Now I was left to face the world alone. Bella had her own family to deal with. It's hard for her to include me on all the things she'll do with Ness.

I can't handle this, I thought. I ran up the stairs to my bedroom, leaving my food on the table. I stood in front of my dressing table and searched for my Gucci glasses. I took out my contacts and placed the brown-framed glasses on instead. Easier to cry, easier to be myself, easier to remember. Easier to feel the loss, easier to be Tallie, girl from Forks. Easier to remember my Mom, the amazing woman she was. She trailed all the way to Seattle alone when she was having her chemotherapy, just to buy these glasses for me. She was shattered after but was pleased she managed to do it. She died the next day.

I grabbed my keys and my jacket. I locked the door and went into my blue Mercedes Guardian, the car the Cullens bought for my birthday three months ago. They said that they all paid, including Bella for my Sweet Sixteen.

Minutes later I was by the cemetery. I left my car parked at the end of the road and walked through the black, metal gates. I didn't bring flowers but I know that Renee wouldn't mind. Her grave was under the gigantic willow tree she loved. Around her grave were daffodils, her favourite flower. I sat by her grave and talked to her.

"Hey Mom. Hope you're well in there, wherever there is. Find Charlie for me and tell him I miss him. I miss you too Mom. It's weird without you here. Bella's...well Bella. She handles it in her own way. It's only just hit me, a few days ago. Stupid why it takes so long to register in my brain really. I love you, Mom. Nothing will make me forget you, nothing. I'm gonna find Bella now. Love you." I whispered to my mother's grave, hoping with every centimetre of my body that she could hear me.

I got up off the wet grass and got into my car. I followed the wide and bendy road to the Cullen's house. I pulled up outside their massive mansion they call a normal sized home. A normal sized home for about ten people of course.

Carlisle stood on the porch, awaiting my arrival. He was gorgeous! His blonde hair was shiny, his skin was flawless and his eyes were...WOW! His mouth was smiling but his eyes held the grief he was holding inside of him. He was hurting a little less then me.

"Thought you'd come." He smiled. "Come here." He opened his arms, welcoming me in like Charlie used to. Like Charlie used too. Ahh crap, tears are coming. I ran up the porch steps and ran into his embrace.

"Carlisle...it hurts. So much. It shouldn't... be hurting...so much." I wailed into his chest. His arms wrapped around me. We stood there for a while before Esme opened the door and joined us. She hugged me like Emmett does, a huge bear hug. Her voice was full of guilt, as if Charlie's death was her fault.

"Oh Tallie dear." She said, grabbing a hold of my hand. We walked into the Cullens' living room. It was white with a glass wall at the end.

Jasper walked in then fell into the wall. Esme and Carlisle gasped, Rosalie was oblivious to the world and Alice went to help. Emmett, on the other hand, was bouncing up and down, clapping and guffawing. Everyone else was all, "Are you ok?". Emmett obviously was Emmett and didn't give a damn.

"Oh My Freaking God Jasper! That was AMAZING! Do it again! Again! Again!" Emmett cheered. He was doubled over Jasper's head, laughing his guts out. They all went over to help but I was stuck. I felt like I couldn't move.

"Become a clown dude! You'd make a fortune! You're SO hilarious!" Emmett chortled. "Talara! Come here." His opened his arms wide and advanced towards me. Now, could I move. I walked backwards then he darted towards me, flinging me in the air. He was squeezing the life out of me. My face was turning purple.

"Emmett! She can't breathe!" Carlisle shouted. Emmett dropped me and I fell to the floor with a thud. Emmett laughed.

"More like the old Bella all the time." Emmett laughed.

"Speaking of Bella, where is she?" I asked.

"She's out hunt-" Emmett began. Esme's hand clapped over his mouth.

"She's out hun. Shall I call her?" Esme asked me.

"Please." I replied. Emmett shrunk away from Esme's glare as she walked towards the phone.

She dialled Bella's number from memory. Bella answered and there was murmuring from the other side of the phone. This end, the gasps were filling the room. As if they could all hear her, despite sitting meters away from the phone. Then they turned to stare at me.

A/N: First chapter! What do you think? If I get a good response I'll update again! :D Hope you like it! Thank RozzLuvsEmmett who persuaded me to update it!