"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."

(quoted from "Understanding" by Evanescence)



Don't worry; I'll try to keep it short :)

A lot of things about my pairing and characterization have already been written in the preface/intro to some of my other stories. And if you are interested in discussing any theories in the background or if you want to know exactly why I chose to write certain things the way I did, please contact me and I'm happy to talk to you any time…

The idea

Finally, here it is, the long awaited and often demanded 'somehow sequel' to "Ties of Fate". You don't necessarily need to know this story (all important facts/events are briefly mentioned in the upcoming chapters, too), it might make things easier to understand, though.

However, at the end of "Ties of Fate", Angeal and Genesis finally decided – after a lot of ups and downs - to try and take their relationship beyond friendship level.

For me, that was also point where the things got interesting, and more questions came up: Have they finally made it? Will things work out between them? And how do you combine a love relationship with everyday live at the Shinra Company?

I wanted to explore all those questions, and somewhere in the back of my mind, there had been another plot-line-idea for quite some time… I always argued that I see Genesis as a person with two sides. At the beginning of 'Crisis Core', he already turned over to what you might call his 'dark side', yet there are a few 'between-the-line' hints that he hasn't always been that way. So what made him change?

As I have always loved the subtle psychological mechanisms that shape and influence the human mind, the themes of traumas, memories and their 'consequences' was definitely something that got me started. I guess the possibility to get more into those characters played a certain, undeniable role, too; as did the demands of some of my dear readers.

The story

What else can I say about this upcoming multi-chapter? Well, it combines a lot of facets and aspects: It has a certain red thread running through it, but also quite a few sidelines. It is about everyday life just as much as it is about the extraordinary; it shows the destructiveness of negative emotions and memories as well as the healing influence of positive experiences. As funny as it might be at certain points, this is not an entirely happy story; and as tragic and depressing as it gets, it's not a completely sad or dark one. If you call it an emotional rollercoaster ride at times, I reached my purpose.

A final note about the relationship between my writing and the original game(s): Sad but true, I never played any FF game; so my writing is based on cut scenes, scripts, internet pages and discussions with other people/writers. Nevertheless, I guess might have made some 'mistakes' once in a while; and some of those mistakes where also made on purpose (timeline, age of certain characters, uniform colours, to name just a few). This has nothing to do with me wanting to 'correct' or 'criticize' the original (I would never dare to do that). Please bear with those little hints of artistic freedom. In addition, I 'novel-ized' a lot of things (as the way they are featured in the game is sometimes not suitable for story telling), and occasionally made up my own theories (especially concerning Mako, Materia and other aspects of FF VII science). Last but not least, the story contains lots of elements, events and minor characters that where taken straight from my own imagination.

(The title)

Just in case anybody is interested… I usually struggle a lot with titles (just as much as I do with names), because even though it's just a minor detail, it's something so crucial… With this story, it was extremely difficult. I had virtually no idea, and still discarded several options.

I'm not really satisfied with the current title, but I had to settle for something eventually in order to start publishing

As simple as it sounds, it's a combination of three things: First, an allusion to "Ties of Fate", the previous story; second, a hint to an inspirational 'background song' that somehow stayed with me through most of the story without being an exact match, as most of my other 'soundtrack songs' are, namely "Fragile" by Delta Goodrem; and third, just like in "Ties of Fate", it refers to a certain line within the story (I'll point it out once we get there).

The usual ;)

Now it's time for the usual list:

Setting: A few weeks past the main events of "Ties of Fate", which also means some years prior to 'Crisis Core', making the protagonists about 18 to 19 years old (for the purpose of illustration: roughly Zack's age during the main events of 'Crisis Core').

Dedication: First and foremost, this is dedicated to the fragile bonds in our lives; especially those formed by love, trust and friendship.

In addition, it is true for every single piece of my writing that without the constant support, advice and encouragement of certain people, not a single word would have been written in the first place. There are many names I could enumerate here…

Still, I would like to thank especially three extra special, awesome friends for countless supportive emails, interesting discussions, tons of inspiration and virtually endless patience.

This is to the lovely people behind the pennames:




It's an honour and a blessing to know you! Thank you for just being there and just being you!

Disclaimer:(just wondering… is anybody still reading this?)

Anyway, characters and background are not mine, they belong to Square Enix; I just took the liberty to play around with them. My writing is purely fan-made; I get no material profit out of it whatsoever (sad but true).

Or to put it in the well-known shape: They own the neighbourhood; I'm just playing in the backyard.

No copyright infringement intended; all rights for quoted song parts and lyrics are with their rightful owners.

Warning: I don't think I still have to point out that I'm writing about a male/male pairing here, and if you are offended by that, you better stop reading right now… Most of this story could also be rated T, but occasional bits might have to be rated higher for 'possibly disturbing content', i.e. pretty dark thoughts and implications (including themes like death, suicide and child abuse). There could also be sexual content as the story continues, most likely of the 'not too explicit' kind; but I want to be on the safe side and to keep my options open (*grin*). Don't worry, I will especially mark those really, really bad chapters (of either content).

More little rants, occasional dedications and – in case of necessity – additional warnings can be found at the beginning of each chapter. For the moment, I'm done :)