This is my very first fan fic. Please be gentle ;)

Reviews gratefully received. Constructive criticism will only make the story better!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Twilight. The are property of Stephenie Meyer. I just like to have a little fun with them.

Chapter One - 'Cramping and Emissions'

"Agh! Shit!"

The pain in my leg wrenched me from my sleep, making me involuntarily thrash and jump to the other side of my small single bed.

For as long as I could remember I'd suffered with painful cramping of my lower legs, usually brought on by cold temperatures during sleep. I'd lost count of times in the early hours, that I'd awoken in agony only to have my father Charlie barge into my room thinking I was being murdered in my sleep. The sight of him in his t-shirt and y-fronts brandishing his gun like a mad man was certainly not a pretty thing to wake up to.

But why would I have had it this morning and why was my bedroom so bloody cold? I distinctly remembered closing my window before I went to bed as there was torrential rain predicted.

"Maybe I just forgot" I mused, as I shivered and sat up against the headboard to massage my right calf quickly to try to relieve some of the pain before I could get out of bed.

"Hmph, what the fuck?" I heard moaning from beside my bed only to see a tousled mop of auburn hair appear.

"Oops! Sorry!" I giggled as my boyfriend, Edward's face appeared above my mattress; his green eyes blurry under heavy lids.

"Yeah, well a bit of warning would be nice next time. You know, if you really want me to wake up there are easier ways," he laughed, rubbing his head as he lifted himself off the frigid wooden floor and crawled back onto the bed and into the comforting warmth of the duvet.

His strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me down against his toned chest. "Hmm this is nice," he murmured as he snuggled down, sniffing my hair and kissing the top of my head. I cuddled into his chest taking in the smell that I could only ever identify as 'Edward'. I swear I could drown in that aroma and die a happy woman.

"What time is it?!" I asked, suddenly acknowledging the presence of my father in the house. If he ever caught Edward in my room he'd wear his balls as cufflinks for the next Christmas party. I might be nearly 18, but I will always be his little girl and he is fiercely protective of me, hence no boy at my school coming within a 2 mile radius of me, the Police Chiefs daughter.

"I don't know, I don't care. It's Saturday," he mumbled as I tried to pull away from his embrace, only be held onto tighter.

"What about Charlie?" I stressed, trying to wriggle out of his grip. "If he heard the commotion he might come in and I really don't feel like having that conversation with him this morning. And I'm sure you'd like to keep your testicles in your trousers rather than a jar," I whispered, trying to sound as serious as possible, finally freeing myself and moving to lean up to face Edward with my hands on his chest. The mere mention of Charlie was enough to wake Edward up enough to have him scrambling on the bedside table looking for his phone.

"Hmm, 08:30. Too early…" he moaned, holding me in a warm embrace.

"08:30? Damn!" I squeaked, rolling away from Edward swinging my over the side of the bed and gasping as the cold wood touched my feet.

"bloody miserable September weather...bloody miserable Forks...Boyfriend a eunuch if Charlie catches him...bollocks for earrings," I muttered as I padded across the room to close the window. "Brrrrrr." I shivered as I looked out onto the, oh so familiar, grey and foggy street. The cruiser wasn't parked in the driveway which could only mean one thing; Charlie had gone fishing after all. "Thank you Lord," I prayed silently under my breath, for the small reprieve as I could hear Edward fidgeting behind me on the bed.

"Come back to bed." He winked, opening the side of the duvet inviting me.

"I can't, too cold, need a shower."

"I can warm you up," he pouted. Damn! That boy was far too much like his twin sister Alice. Always a pout when he wanted to get his own way. Ever since they were little they'd known how to get their own way. Pouting and, or as I like to call it, 'dazzling people' into submission. I'd gotten strong to it over the years but they are still known to break down my defences. Well not this morning mister!

"Why's the window open anyway?" I huffed, as I searched through my closet looking for something half decent to wear. God knows why I bothered though. I would never get Alice's approval anyway. I could walk into a room wearing the latest couture and that hyperactive pixie would look at me as if I'd walked in wearing a potato sack.

"The room needed airing…" he yawned, stretching himself letting his wife beater rise up showing his happy trail leading into his black boxers.

"Huh why?" I mumbled, rummaging through my drawers looking for a matching pair of socks.

"Well, someone had too much garlic last night…" he smirked.

"It most certainly wasn't me!" I retorted, spinning on my heels giving him the death glare. "If I seem to remember correctly it was you that had the extra garlic bread, making me open the car window on the drive home, freezing my tits off"

"Well, it wasn't only me darling. I seem to remember you farting like a trooper last night! You even laughed in your sleep after letting rip with a rather impressive one," he laughed, coming up behind me to wrap his arms around my waist, kissing behind my ear.

"Oh God! No, no, no!" My cheeks burned at the thought. Where the hell was that big hole in the floor when it was needed?!

"I thought it was rather cute actually," He mumbled nuzzling into me, pulling me tighter to his chest and tracing patterns with his fingers on my stomach over my tank top. "How such a small, delicate creature could make such noises is beyond me..." he chuckled to himself.

"Well, I'm glad you find it amusing. Now, if you've quite finished embarrassing me I'm going to have a shower," I huffed, grabbing my clothes and stomping off to the bathroom. I could hear him chuckling to himself as I slammed the door behind me.

"Oh why me Lord?! You give me a gorgeous boyfriend and then let me fart all night in front of him!"

I stood in the mirror inspecting the damage and trying to regain my composure. Hair like a birds nest, bright red cheeks and a crease down the side of my face where I had obviously slept on it. "Oh Edward is such a lucky boy," I laughed to myself as I took my pyjamas off, and turned the shower on letting it run for a while so it was hot enough.

I stepped into the shower letting the hot water cascade down my body. Oh how I love hot showers, the hotter the better. Maybe I'm slightly masochistic but there's nothing like a hot shower that leaves you tingling. Realising that I'd been standing for a while and not wanting to use up all the hot water I reached for my shampoo.

"What the hell?" I mumbled, looking at the empty bottle. "Oh very butch Charlie! Strawberry shampoo for a fishing trip?"

Looking around, there wasn't anything else for me to use so, grabbing the biggest towel I could find and covering myself, I shouted to Edward to grab the fresh bottle from my cupboard for me. I could hear him next door rummaging through my stuff, followed by a thud and muffled cursing.

Suddenly the door swung open with a very flustered looking Edward standing there. I tried to stifle a laugh I took the bottle from him. "What happened to you?"

"A bottle of lotion with no lid balanced on the top self. That's what!" he grunted, running his hand through his hair covered in white gunk. God, he was sexy when pissed off.

"Serves you right for opening the window and giving me cramp this morning. That's karma, love" I giggled, turning around to resume washing my hair.

"Yeah, very funny. Ha, fucking ha," he mumbled under his breath, whilst standing staring at me with his arms folded across his chest.

"Am I going you let you watch me shower?" I asked, glancing around with the towel still hiding my modesty.

"Oh come on! I've got this shit all over me! It's sticky and I smell like an old hookers handbag!" he moaned whilst sniffing his top.

"I don't care. I'll be done in a minute and then the shower's all yours," I stated, staring at him holding onto my towel.

He grunted before sloping off out of the door in a sulk.

Edward and I had known each other since we were born as our mothers met when pregnant and I had been best friends since before I can remember with him and his twin, Alice. We were known as the 'three musketeers' growing up. Where one went, the other two were sure to follow. It had now been 4 months since we 'officially' became a couple thus earning Emmett, Edwards cousin, $20 from Alice's boyfriend Jasper. Apparently that bet was going for a few years.

As much as I loved Edward I still felt awkward about him seeing me naked. Not that I was ugly or had a bad body. In fact, I thought it was quite good. Curves where they should be, pert breasts and a flat stomach. God knows how I got this body considering I couldn't do sports due to the danger I posed to the other players. Now if clumsiness was an Olympic sport it would be gold all the way.

It's not that I didn't want him. Hell, there are times when I all wanted to do was jump his bones. I'd had some dreams that would have even made Paris Hilton blush. I just couldn't seem to lose my insecurities. I'd never had a boyfriend before Edward and I was still a virgin. The only other boy I'd kissed, and I used that term in the loosest sense, was Mike Newton who cornered me during a game of kiss chase aged 10 and proceeded to shove his tongue down my throat making me gag and thrown up.

I knew Edward's wasn't a virgin. The schools communal vagina, Lauren Mallory, made sure everyone knew about her '7 minutes of heaven' with him a couple of years ago. That vicious cow couldn't wait to let me know and rub my face in it. She was always jealous that the one of the schools hottest guys had me, plain Jane, as his best friend and wanted to stamp her claim on him.

That girl didn't need a bedroom door, a turnstile would have been much more appropriate. Even so, Edward was too much of a gentleman to push things further, although a guiding hand would have been nice now and again.

I finished rinsing my hair and stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around my body. The hot water had made the bathroom uncomfortably humid so instead of dressing there I hurriedly gathered my stuff and headed back to my bedroom to finish.

As I swung the door open and rushed out I was met by a firm figure nearly knocking me off my feet making my towel drop.


Scrambling around the floor grabbing my towel and clothes, I looked up to see Edward grinning down at me like the Cheshire cat.

"Oh come on Bella. It's not like I haven't seen it all before. We've had baths together remember."

"That's not the point and we were 5 when we did that. A lot has changed since then," I huffed, trying to cover myself up and batting away Edwards hand as he tried to bring me back to my feet.

"Things certainly have changed from what I've just seen," he leered with a smirk on his face.

"Oh shut up and have a shower lotion boy!" I stormed as I stomped into my room, of course cheeks the obligatory beetroot colour.