Disclaimer: I owe nothing. The characters you recognise belong to either J.K Rowling or Stephanie Meyer.
There were rumours coming out of Voldemort's camp.
They were saying that Voldemort was ill, that he hadn't been seen by anyone outside his inner circle for days. Some members of the Order had rejoiced when they heard this thinking that maybe nature and illness would win the war where they could not.
Ablus Dumbledore, figurehead of the resistance, knew better. At the word of Voldemort's supposed weakness he became almost frantic in searching for information as to the reason. He asked their only spy within the Death Eaters to break cover to find out; the venerable wizard knew in his heart that whatever the dark lord had done, any information as to the dealings of Death Eaters would no longer be useful. Their spy was tortured to death, but not before he sent word to the Order of what Voldemort had done.
The Dark Lord had initiated a sacred ritual to invoke the Divine Mother-Of-All. It was a ritual that all knowledgeable wizards knew about, but only a few had ever had the audacity to attempt, as the failures far outweighed and outlasted the success. Every magical raised and learned, knew that to ask something of the mother you had to give her something equal to or greater in value to whatever it was that you desired. Voldemort, had asked for immortality, and in exchange he offered his Soul.
Dumbledore had despaired when he heard this and had convened a meeting of the Order, he addressed the gathering sombrely that night.
"A powerful and merciless Voldemort is hard enough to overcome. My friends, we now have an Immortal Dark Lord, still much more formidable and who will now be even more unforgiving. If you do not believe you have the strength, the resilience or even the spirit to carry on, now would be the time for you to speak up. We will not think ill of you, nor will we belittle the sacrifice that you have made for this cause thus far. But the road before us is now far more difficult to surmount then ever before and your friends, your family, your comrades will feel more strengthened knowing that those who travel this terrifying path with them, carry no uncertainty and who's fortitude is as strengthened as their own."
It was among the last words ever spoken by Albus Dumbledore to the Order, three days later he summoned the Mother and died painfully when his offering was not accepted.
When Voldemort found out about the passing of Albus Dumbledore he celebrated by destroying the Muggle-Wizarding settlement of Bryce. He slaughtered 184 men, woman and children, one for every year that the late Wizard had ever lived.
With Dumbledore's passing all eyes turned to Lija Potter. They called for her to do something, blaming her for every death that had gone unavenged, the Order rallied around her lending her support against the vilification, but with the death toll increasing, the voices in support of her were outnumbered by the voices against.
Lija, as much as she wanted to help, knew she was no match for an immortal dark lord. She and her friends had pored over every book in the Black, Hogwarts and Headmaster's library to try and find some way to level the field but that avenue was a unsuccessful. With the victims of the massacres becoming more and more recognizable to her, she finally begged the Order that she be allowed to do the Summoning Ritual. The Order deliberated and argued for hours, eventually ending the meeting on a stalemate, the new leader, Kingsley Shackelbolt explained to Lija that they would give her their decision after the next meeting. The events of the course of the next few days though, forced the decision out of the Orders hands as Lija made it for them.
While defending another town against Death Eaters, Remus, and Fred were cut-off from their allies and were killed trying to fight there way out of the anti-apparation words. Tonks, who had joined the defence of the town, survived the fight and was taken to safety, only to succumb to the injuries that she had sustained. Her death, added her one-year-old son to the growing list of orphans caused by the war.
Two hours after the dead were entombed and with word that Voldemort was finally bringing his forces against Hogwarts, and left with no other option to protect the people that she loved and the only home she knew, Lija locked herself in one of the empty rooms in the Dungeon and prepared to summon the Mother.
Thirty minutes in and faced with an uninterested Goddess and at least a dozen of her... Court, the Girl-Who-Lived started to think that this maybe wasn't a good idea after all and that she might not have thought this through.
"You dare summon me child?"
"I need your help!"
"Many ask of me little one. And not all who ask receive. The dead and the dying, perish with prayer for me on their lips and in their hearts. Then there are the desperate, the greedy, the needy, sometimes one and the same. They are always promising me something, as if I cannot just take it when I want it. Silly little mortals."
"What's help against a dark lord worth?"
"Do not be flippant with me child. It was you who summoned me; did your elders not tell you of the dangers of doing so? Do you realise that in being here you have already guaranteed your death? My... generosity and my continued curiosity of you is the only thing standing between you and the abyss."
Lija took a deep breath. This really wasn't going very well. Musical laughter greeted that thought and looking at the Goddess she realised that her mind had just been read.
"My, but you are funny. You are also overly emotional; you allow your very feelings to sway you. Just like your mother. Did you know that your mother begged me for your life? I granted her wish because she offered me her life in return. It was never meant to happen as such. I had decided that she was to survive your death, move on and have more little ones with the other boy that had begged me so long for her. But then she offered me her life. A life given willingly! I wanted it, so I took it and I stripped her essence of her physical body and remade her. She could be any one of my companions that you see with me."
Looking around at the other spirits, Lija tried to stifle her rising anger. She didn't understand how anyone would or could state something so callously as if a human life wasn't worth much.
"You are angry," the Goddess stated, there was a tinge of laughter in her voice and the spirits around her were giggling like it was the funniest thing they ever heard.
"You are angry with me for not seeing any worth in the human lives that I have taken. Do not try and understand me foolish child. I am the Mother of all creation, this Earth is the not the first that I have made and it will not be the last that I destroy. It was made for my amusement and so will it be unmade, you do not have to understand, I care not if you do. Focus on why you are here, now, while I am still interested in what you have to say."
"You granted immortality to the one known as Tom Riddle. He is now more powerful and deadlier then ever before, and your people, I, we do not know how to stop him."
"Why should I care? The child, Tom, gave to me his Soul. You mortals do not give up your souls so easily, you put such a heavy price on it, but Tom, he interested me, and he offered me his soul. Do you know how many uses I have for a Soul willingly sacrificed?"
"So you would put millions of people to death for the price of one soul? Divine Mother, with all that you have created, you could not possibly be this cold!"
She knew she had gone too far when the temperature of the room dropped and ice formed everywhere; a blast threw her across the room where she slammed against the wall. Gingerly getting up from where she had landed, she was surprised when a vicelike hand seized her by the neck and lifted her till she was barely balancing on her toes.
"Never take that tone with me again," the Deity demanded, clenching her hand in warning. Lija squeaked in reply and the angry Goddess took that as an affirmative answer.
"Since you speak so passionately of your humans I will grant you your wish, but the price you pay will be great as to be equal to the soul that I will return. It will have lasting consequences.
I will remove Tom Riddle from existence and I will keep him in the abyss. In exchange I will strip the Magic from you and one other whom you love. Who? It is for you to decide. You will never be able to be near an area, being, building or object of magic ever again without feeling pain, you will no longer call yourself a Witch.
On the first year of the defeat of the one called Voldemort all those magical that you love will cease to remember you. Your very existence will be removed from their memories and any official magical record will state that you died, at birth. Any attempt by you to try and integrate yourself back in to their lives, in whatever way, will result in Voldemort being reinstated and your Death.
This is my price. Lija Potter, will you pay?"
The girl in question looked at the Goddess in despair; tears were coursing down her cheeks and she was trying to find some way out of it. This could not be happening!
"This is my price mortal! Will you pay?" the Goddess demanded, as she looked down on the broken child. It was a huge price to pay especially for someone like this girl who, after being in the cold with her guardians, had found people that loved her and accepted her for what she was. The Deity really didn't think that she would accept it and therefore was surprised when the young girl spoke up.
"Yes... I'll pay."
"And your choice, who will you appoint to a magic less life?" she asked in a much gentler tone.
"I... I don't know. I don't think I can do that... please don't ask me to do that!" the child begged.
"NO! You said you will pay the price. You cannot renegotiate! Who will you choose?"
"I choose... I... I choose... Oh mother, I can't do this... I can't do this... I can't do this..."
"Who will you choose?" the divine being asked again, she would make the decision herself in the next minute if the child couldn't decide; she was actually starting to pity the little mortal. She watched as the poor thing rocked back and forth on her knees, her arms covering her head as if it would block out what she had to do, gibberish spilling out in sobs from her lips. She was leaking from the eyes again, how disgusting. Again the human surprised her when she actually spoke up.
"I ... I choose Theodore Remus Lupin."
The Divine Goddess actually smiled when she looked down at the human before her, and her companions actually laughed in glee. She was such a tricky little thing; she had found a way around two of her conditions. By choosing the baby, she removed his magic; but he was now exempt from the blanket memory erasure that would impact the rest of magical society, which in turn would leave a child for the human to raise. How very sneaky. Tilting her head she looked down on the human and searched the coming years to see if anything interesting would happen to her mortal... oh, oh my... yes... hmmm... he would do nicely, and just so she wouldn't be helpless, she would leave her a gift... this mortal would entertain her and her court for many long years. Coming out of her thoughts she completed the ritual and she and her court faded out of vision.
"As you have spoken, so shall it be.... good luck human."
Lija hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. Running her hand through her dark hair, jade eyes stared unseeingly into the dark. Only the occasional wince of pain on her pale face gave way to awareness of the world around her. With another heavy sigh the 18 year old former witch, bit her lips and looked around her now bare study. The official documents that she had spent days pouring over and signing with her lawyer was the only evidence the study had even been used.
Slowly getting to her feet she made her way across the room to the large windows overlooking the courtyard of her apartment. Closing her eyes she leaned her head against the window pane allowing the cold glass to ease her headache and hoping that it would chase away her thoughts.
Tomorrow would mark the one year anniversary of the defeat of the most feared dark lord in history. Exactly one year ago she had given everything for the world and people she loved, only to find that she could never ever really call that world home. It was a bitter, heart rendering realisation, made even more so with the celebrations that followed.
The young woman raised her head when a cry broke through the quiet. Turning slowly she made her way out of the study and down the hallway to stop right next to the cot in her living room.
"Teddy," she said with a smile.
Teary brown eyes looked with desperation into green and chubby baby hands raised and grasped anxiously. "Come to Mama, Baby," Lija cooed.
Lifting her adopted son out of the cot she went about her motherly duties, almost as if on autopilot. Teddy sensing that his Godmother wasn't all present did not fuss as other toddlers would have.
Feeding bottle in hand, Lija sat down on her couch and proceeded to feed her godson. Her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of what tomorrow would bring and what the new world would be like.
It would hurt. But it was for the best. How could she possibly stay and raise her godson in a world that was no longer their own. Thinking back to the past, she finally allowed herself to think of the day when she made her decision to leave.
Two Months Ago:
"I can't live like this anymore, Hermione. I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own house. Teddy and I, we need to leave."
Hermione watched her best friend pace agitatedly across the room and back, Lija had been like this for almost two hours, if she hadn't been so used to a sights like this over the years she would have been worried. Instead she smiled sadly and reached out a hand to stop the pacing teen in her tracks.
"Honey, you've been saying that for almost four months now, don't you think it's about time you did something about it?"
Picking up the phone, Hermione dialled a number from memory. The action itself held a sense of déjà vu, a repeat of scenes happening many times previous. Hermione's only hope was that this time her green-eyed friend would finally carry through.
"You've known what to do for a while now Lija," she stated, handing over the phone. "Another month isn't going to give you anymore clarity then you already have."
Hesitantly, Lija took the phone and paused; she opened her mouth once as if to say something and stopped. Clearing her throat she tried again, "once I do this… this thing, Hermione… there'll be no going back for me. You know that… heck I know that… we both know that… that…."
Pressing the 'dial' button, Lija looked solemnly at her best friend as she listened to the phone ring. On the fifth ring it cut off abruptly as a chirpy female voice answered.
Good Morning, you've reached the offices of Crane, Poole & Schmidt, how can I help you?
"Hello, can you put me through to Alan Shore please."
Mr Shore is currently in a meeting but I'll put you through to his personal assistant. Please Hold.
Lija winced as the hold music played, hand raised to rub the ache in her head away. The hold music cut off as a more matronly female voice spoke.
Alan Shore's office, how can I help you.
"Yes, this is Lija Potter, I understand that Alan is in a meeting at the moment so can you have him call me as soon as he – "
Miss Potter, hold the line.
"Huh?" Lija took the phone away from her ear and stared at it in confusion, before quickly putting it back to her ear when she heard the unmistakeable male voice of her Lawyer.
Lija? Hello? Lija?
"Alan!" she practically yelled into the phone, and before she could loose her courage she continued, "You need to find me a house. I need a house!"
There was slight pause before Alan proved why he was her favourite attorney.
A house. Of course. Any place in particular?
"I don't know Alan," she whispered sadly. "It doesn't really matter where does it?"
-- FLASH BACK ENDS --
She had spoken many times with Alan since then. Making preparations to leave a life that she had been born to and the only life that she ever really knew was a difficult task. Hermione and Ron, as they had always been during her life, were her rock. They weren't happy to see one-third of their trio leave but they said they understood. Lija was sceptical that they did, in a short amount of time they wouldn't even remember who she was; she on the other hand would have memories of times that she couldn't share with anyone.
Between the four of them they'd come up with a list of places that she could live in. Due to the events between herself, the Divine Mother and Voldemort she could never be around magic. Unfortunately, the British Isles was the most magically charged area in the world and that meant that she couldn't reside anywhere within its borders, not unless she was a masochist.
As it was, her criteria for places to live read as such:
1) Has to be magically neutral, it could not be anywhere near the Lei lines
2) Must have modern hospitals/clinics
3) Must have good schools for Teddy
4) Must be in a country where English was spoken
5) Must have a shopping district, or be near a shopping district.
Her eventual list of countries and places to stay was narrowed down from 30 to four based on the criteria alone. It left: Juneau in Alaska, Ontario in Canada, Christchurch in New Zealand and finally Forks in Washington.
After pouring over all the information provided to her by Alan, she eventually settled on Forks. The small population of 3192 appealed to her and the problems that arose with large populations would be very minimal.
Hermione threw herself into helping locate a house that would be suitable for her and Teddy to live in, Lija only asked that the house and grounds be large enough to for a growing boy to run around in, yet small enough that it wouldn't need an army of house-elves to maintain.
Ron was left with the task of putting furniture in her house. At least he was supposed to furnish her house, unfortunately Lija was forced to intervene and assist when she found out that her best male friend had ordered 13 telephones, nine flat screen televisions, four computers, five toasters and was trying to negotiate his way into purchasing three Sony Playstation's. Lija finally came to the conclusion that Ron thought that she and Teddy would be more then happy to eat, sleep and sit on the ground as long as they were surrounded by items giving off small bursts of radiation. Nevertheless his attempt to help made her fall more in brotherly love with him then ever before and that was probably the most likely reason that she signed off on the ridiculous order and asked the store to deliver a portion of it to charities within the Seattle area.
Regardless of their support though, it could never really distract from the sense of distance that was forming between them. The friendship they had would have lasted a lifetime and she knew that many years from now she would take out photo albums with the muggle photos that they had made and look on the memories fondly, maybe with a touch of bitterness.
Tomorrow she would get on a plane and travel four thousand miles to a new home. She would check into customs at Heathrow Airport and somewhere, over the Atlantic Ocean, she would cease to be Lija Harriet Potter and become Lija Harriet O'Carroll. Lija O'Carroll, the 18 year old mother of a two year old child named Theodore Remus O'Carroll.
Bent over her precious son, shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs, Lija's heart broke.
A/N: This is an unbeta'd version of my new plot bunny. And this is the only time that I'll ever have an A/N this long. I promise. Please read and review, constructive criticism is always welcome, flames will be posted on my authors page to keep me warm, questions will be answered as long as it's not important to the plot.
There are no Horcruxes; one – because I can't even pronounce it, two – because I hated the Idea, three – It's not really a great final battle if the only lead up is a camping trip. Is it?
Why did I make Teddy a squib?
Because I could.
Lija is on her knees with nothing and no-one before a goddess who's going to take everything away from her. Tonks is dead, Remus is dead and although it's not mentioned in the body of the story Andromeda is dead. Teddy has no-one now but Lija. Furthermore, Lija figures that you can't miss what you never had. If she had chosen Hermione or Ron or someone else who knows magic it would be assigning them to a magic less prison of her making. Choosing Teddy was a far easier and a much more logical option and it would also mean that she would at least have someone to love in the coming years. Would she tell Teddy about magic when he was older? No. Teddy is now for all intents and purposes a muggle. He won't be able to see any magical settlements, items, or buildings. So why tell him? She will be telling Teddy about his birth parents, minus all the magical stuff.
Why did I turn Harry James Potter into a girl?
Because I can't write slash. I also don't think I can write Het, but I'm thinking it may be a bit more of an achievable aim for me. I can't write like Azzie Adams or Bittersweet Alias or even Branwen777. Furthermore, there's lots of Fem!Harry stories out there but hardly any Fem!Harry Twilight crossovers.
Everything else in the transition of Harry to Lija is the same, umm, some of it. Shoulder length black hair, green/emerald/jade eyes and 5 ft 8 inches of wilfully stubborn woman. Pick any dark haired actress/model/singer/neighbour/friend you want and if that is the picture you have of what Lija should look like then so be it. I don't care of how they look. I'm caring more about what will happen. (O.k I'm sort of lying, I'm thinking maybe Adriana Lima, but in a town like forks that's a bit too much, especially if you have Rosalie who could pass as a Victoria's secret model.)
Do you know how you always have one friend who most likely would benefit from having glasses but doesn't want them because she doesn't really need them and they can see o.k. but at a distance things look sort of blurry unless its really big like an oncoming car? Well, that's Lija.
Why name her Lija?
In my story, Lily/James thought their baby was going to be a boy, being the prophesised child and all. So they were all set to name their child Harry Elijah James Potter. Baby instead was born with ovaries and fallopian tubes so they switched the name around and instead called her Lija Harriet Potter. They basically did an Edward/Bella and fused parts of two names together – Li for Lily and Ja for James. Ha! Get it?