I UPDATED! YES!
Anyways, This is mostly in Snape's point of view. Remus is tagging along.
Reviews are appreciated.
I really like the idea of having Snape a little bit more compassionate than Canon.
Harry is going to get worse before he gets better.
Sorry guys, I just finished School so updates will be faster and longer!
Severus Snape was the servant of two masters. One easily admitted to the evil he immersed himself in. The other admitted too little. Yet, Severus' loyalties lied with neither.
Severus's father, in a moment of complete sobriety, glanced at him with eyes clearer than Severus had ever seen. His father gripped his shoulder tightly and spoke, 'every creature is tainted with evil, Severus. Never trust one who denies the existence of this for they will be the death of you.' As a young child, he doubted it. As an adult, it was practically his religion.
Severus often wondered, deep with in the recesses of his mind, if it was as lonely at the top as the rumors suggested. He glanced down at the hollow-cheeked Gryffindor unconscious in his bed.
In his life he had been asked many things but trailing the 'savior' was one of the most tasking. Of course the boy wasn't as much his problem once he left Hogwarts. Yet, once he returned to school, the world seemed to becoming increasingly more annoying.
Severus had seen the look in Harry Bloody Potter's eyes when he pulled him up off the ground. The green eyes were cloudy and broken. He easily had known there was something wrong with the boy. It was almost the same look Potter had given him on the last day of school right before he disappeared onto the train. Severus had been waiting for, perhaps even dreading, the day when Harry Potter would crack. He had never assumed it would bother him like it did. He knew it was inevitable. Children couldn't handle that type of stress but Potter was supposed to be special. He was supposed to be able to manage it. He was destined to destroy Voldemort, much like he had on the night of his Parent's death. Potter had the world on his shoulders but wasn't strong enough to hold it up.
Staring at Potter then, Severus could practically feel the insanity rolling off Potter in waves. Harry Potter wasn't his child but he was plopped in front of him like he belonged there. It was annoying. It was bothersome. It was everything he disliked. Yet, the broken being formerly known as Harry Potter made it hard to despise him. He couldn't help it. Potter was his responsibility and he was stuck with Severus until he recovered. There was no way of getting out of it even if he screamed until he was blue in the face.
He had wanted to throw a fit. He had wanted to stomp his feet and just scream out all the injustices at Dumbledore. But he didn't. He refused to stoop down to that level. No matter how damn good it felt.
It had started simply enough. He had just planned on informing the Headmaster of Potter's whereabouts and then he was going to hand the boy over to the Headmaster and leave. It was too bad that things with Albus Dumbledore never worked out as easily as planned.
"Ah, Severus, how nice to see you." When Severus was a child, new to Hogwarts, he had thought the Headmaster's smile was the nicest, most genuine smile he had ever seen. He didn't think so highly of it as an adult.
"Headmaster, this is a very serious matter. And no, I do not want any of your bloody candies."
Albus' hand froze over the candy bowl as his eyes twinkled with mirth. "Yes, yes. I always forget that you have an aversion to sweets. I assume this about our young Mr. Potter?"
"Yes." Severus mentally slapped himself. Of course the nosey old man knew everything that went on in his school. "He is currently in my rooms."
"Is that so?" Albus smiled and popped a sweet into his mouth. "Hmm, It is quite curious how he ended up here in the first place. It's curious, yet not impossible. Our young Mr. Potter has quite a few tricks up his sleeve."
"He is a child. There is no way that Potter could have managed to Apparate to Hogwarts. He is much too young, has little experience, not to mention his lack of a license—Uh, breaking the law is one of his favorite pastimes, so that is more believable-, and the wards of Hogwarts surely would have kept him out. I found him on the outskirts of the forbidden forest, lying there like he owned the place. He is out of control, emaciated, feverish, and under some magical charm that I cannot seem to break. Headmaster, I… Fear more for his life now than anytime before."
Albus' lips curled up into an almost smug grin. "I leave him in your capable hands, Severus. I have the utmost trust that you can bring Mr. Potter into a full recovery."
Severus was completely flabbergasted, his mouth hung open in surprise.
"Good day, Severus!"
And that was that.
Harry had been awake for an hour. His breathing was shallow, but he sat up, leaning heavily against the backboard of the bed.
Snape was nowhere to be found and that suited him just fine.
The birds on his shoulders lied. They said things, wonderful things, at first but quickly they lied.
"How many fools burn their fingers on a stove top each day?" One crow whispered to the other. "It's a surprise that the soft human skin has yet to melt off."
"Don't you know?" The other crow questioned. "The flesh grows back. Lose a finger, grow another. Lose a hand, grow another."
"That's not how it works!" Harry exclaimed, shooing them from his head. They squawked indignantly and sat upon the bed frame. "If I lose an arm, a hand, a finger, or anything else, it does not grow back! I am without it, forever. Think of it as dying. The part dies, it does not come back."
"Surely there are spells." The first crow nudged the second with his beak. "What point is having magic if you can't use it?"
"I am much too young to use it alone," Harry whispered, angrily, to himself. "The age restriction is worthless! I reserve the right to murder whoever I want."
"Such dark thoughts!" The second bird jumped on to his lap. It stared up at him with beady black eyes that reminded him of someone he knew but refused to recognize. "Should you not be pure? Life is purity…"
"Life is darkness!" The first crow countered stopping the cleaning of his feathers. "It figures that you would be the light and I would be the dark. Mother always favored you!"
"We are birds! It is impossible to favor anyone but ourselves."
"Both of you, quiet, I cannot sink into depression with you lingering. You used to hate me whispering lies and urges for my death. What happened?" He asked, his face flushed red in anger. His hand twitched next to the second crow. He had an insatiable urge to strangle the black creature.
"We've become part of you." Both crows said in unison.
"You die, we die," said the first.
"Such a sad thing," said the second.
"You both are the cause of this," he hissed with venom laced his words.
"No, no, no, no, Harry," The second one cawed. "You did this to yourself."
"I did no such thing!" He squealed much like a pig lined up for slaughter. His face was beet red with anger. He gnawed at his bottom lip. "I was nothing if not what everyone wanted."
"You hold too much pride for yourself, Mr. Potter." Snape's voice drifted in from the side of the room, it melted into his ears, and swam into his brain. "Here's a bit of a lesson for you," Snape crossed the room and stood, menacingly, over the bed. "You will never be able to make everyone happy. You will never be as good as you're wanted to be. You will only be as good as you can manage. The standards of others mean nothing if you can't even stomach your own."
The crows had returned to Harry's brain.
"Professor," Harry scoffed as though the name was a lie, a joke, that his 'professor' was nothing more than an adult too high on his horse. "You have no right to be speaking of my standards when you have none. You have no sense of decency. You are a vile old man. You don't seem to have any family. That's obviously because you have no sympathy. You are a depressing individual."
Snape clenched his jaw, his eyes black with vexation, "pot calling the kettle black."
The anger, like a disease, consumed Harry. It filled his veins and he almost wanted to grasp his wand tightly in his hand and murmur 'Avada Kedavra'. He wanted to see the light fade from Snape's eyes as he di- "Oh, god." Harry spoke allowed. What was he doing? He didn't want to kill Snape. He didn't want to kill anyone.
The anger in Snape's eyes dissipated to leave a muted worry. "Potter?" Snape questioned, softly, as though he was trying to calm a spooked animal.
"I wanted to kill you." Harry whispered. His tone was defeated. His shoulders were hunched over sadly. "What's wrong with me? I kept thinking how wonderful it would be to watch you die." He chocked on a sob. Tears streamed down his face as he glanced up at his Professor. "I don't want to kill people."
"Yes, I know." Snape sighed. "Stop crying. You're a Gryffindor not a Hufflepuff, have some pride…" He pinched the bridge of his nose tightly. "Where is your unfaltering courage? The courage that makes you an idiot, the courage that causes you to do anything for your friends. Where is Harry Potter?" He asked, a sound of subdued disbelief jumped out of his throat.
"He's dead." Harry said simply. "All that is left is a coward."
Severus had given Potter a Dreamless Sleep potion in hopes to have some time to think. He paced through the corridors, a frown marred his features. The boy was nowhere near the person he had seen just weeks before.
He stiffened at the sound of his name. His back straightened painfully and a sneer etched itself onto his face.
"Lupin," he said coolly turning on his heel to face the mangy wolf. "It's a little early for your potion, don't you think?"
Lupin smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yes, but that isn't why I'm here."
Severus' eyebrow arched.
"The headmaster told me Harry was here."
"Oh?" Severus asked smoothly. Inside he was raging, of course Dumbledore had to pull the ex professor into Potter's problems.
Lupin shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, "I'd, uh, like to see him. If that's all right, Severus."
Potter's eyes were twin emeralds. Each eye had one line splitting jaggedly through the iris. His eyes seemed to have acquired a crack, a crack that was normally reserved for glass.
Severus stared; taking in the boy who pushed around food he had little interest in with his fork. Potter was hunched over the food. A scowl seemed to be stapled to his face. Every once in a while he'd glance up and his eyes would flick from Severus to Lupin in anguish. Severus could feel the boy resisting to urge to flee. Potter twitched and reached up to scratch viciously at his neck.
Lupin, who was busy sipping tea and yammering on about Potter's mutt of a godfather, didn't seem to notice how oddly the boy was acting. Lupin's index fingers tapped the outside of the teacup in a repetitive fashion.
"Shut up," Potter hissed at his shoulder. "Just shut up."
Lupin paused mid sentence, "I beg your pardon?" Shock marred his features, as he gripped the teacup tighter, his face draining color like a leaky faucet.
"Not you, Professor. I was talking to-" He glanced back at his shoulder, his eyes widened with nervousness as if whomever he had been speaking to had disappeared. He looked back to his bowl as if unable to meet his ex-professor's eyes.
"Of course, Harry…" The wolf shifted again.
Severus almost smirked as the realization of Potter's mental state dawned on Lupin. One of Lupin's hands moved away from the cup and into his pocket. He seemed to be searching around for the chocolate he normally kept there.
Severus mentally scoffed, as if chocolate would fix the boy's problems. Eyes, the color of the man's beloved chocolate, found Severus'. Severus almost sighed at the crestfallen look the man had adapted.
"Severus, could I have a word with you?" Lupin asked, presumptuously standing as if he knew Snape would say yes.
The potion's professor gritted his teeth and nodded slowly. He stood and stared at Potter, who had looked back up abruptly, "Stay." Severus demanded.
"I am no dog, Professor." Potter growled, imitating the dog he insisted he wasn't.
Severus turned his nose upwards and sniffed, "really? I wouldn't have known. The smell is deceiving."
"Severus…" Lupin made a noise, much akin to a whine, from beside him.
"Yes, yes, wolf. I'm coming." Severus said.
In Harry Potter's eyes Severus Snape was the vilest creature he had ever come in contact with. All right, that was a lie, but he was sitting far up on the miserable list.
Remus and Snape had sat in front of him in the Great Hall staring at him with eyes that judged and were out to destroy him.
"It's a good thing they left, hmmm?" The crow on his shoulder hummed out into his ear. It was the eviler one of the two. The nicer one, with feathers slowly turning white, had disappeared from his shoulder the moment he spoke aloud to it in front of the Professors.
"Yes," he responded while chucking his bowl across the table. It landed angrily on the ground with a loud smash.
"It's quite cute that they give each other nicknames." The crow giggled, puffing up as it hopped onto the table.
"Those are meant to be insulting."
"Yes, but they do seem quite found of each other. Hate is so close to love..." It cackled maliciously.
"You're disgusting." Harry hissed. He rested his head on his arms. He could feel the headache blossoming in his mind. The fresh scent of blood filled his nostrils, reminding him of his depression.
"And you're just a little boy with no real power. Oh, oh! A shiny thing! You need it."
Harry's head snapped up. Following the crow with his eyes as it flew over to a neighboring table. Sitting there, looking as innocent as ever, was Maestus Tenebrae.
He almost cried as his body, much like a puppet attached to wires, moved without his bidding.
'I couldn't let you miss me.' The note read.
On the first taste, the world exploded in color.
There was a hissing under his skin, an anguished moan on his tongue, and cold water in his eyes.
Harry was moving against his will. He laughed, loudly, and found himself standing upon on a table his wand in hand.
He aimed his wand at the Slytherin table…
Took in two breaths, in an attempt to ease the pain in his lungs,
... And set it aflame.
"He's insane." Severus said simply to the wolf's rushed questions. "That much is obvious."
"Severus, we have a problem." Remus murmured rolling the newly obtained issue of The Daily Prophet in his hands nervously.
"We always have a problem involving Mr. Potter. I assumed you would know this seeing as how you were so close to the his hellion father."
Bright red anger dusted across Lupin's cheeks and his lips drew into a thin line. "It's this, Snape." He unraveled the paper quickly and held it up for Severus to see.
The headlines were dark black. It seemed like they were darker from the catastrophic news. It was if the sorrow had bled into the words.
Severus read it aloud, slowly, as if trying to make sense of the words before him, "ten killed in midnight raid…"
"Isn't it…" Remus paused. "A little odd that Harry showed up just hours after a raid?"
Harry Potter's problems were always more complicated than they seemed.
"Losing faith in him already?" Severus hissed. His stomach filled with uncertain ease.
"No, but word spread quickly that you found him here last night. I have my undying faith in him but others…" Lupin trailed off.
"Others will believe anything," Severus whispered to himself.