This story is pretty dark. In fact, it's the darkest fanfic I've ever written.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
With the door locked and the fan turned on, I sat curled up on the bathroom floor. The puddle of tears in front of me kept accumulating. I glanced in the mirror and studied my face.
In front of me was a weak, helpless girl who couldn't do anything right. Her cheeks were stained with tears, her nose was a bright red, and her eyes were puffy.
My eyes… Why were they always so messed up?
Flashback- 12 Years Ago
"Sweetie, you have beautiful eyes," my mom said, smiling down on me. "They're lavender, the color of lilacs."
I couldn't help but sniffle like the tiny five-year-old I was.
"B-but Mama, everyone m-makes fun of me! I h-hate my eyes!" I wailed.
"Hinata Hyuga, don't listen to them! You are strong, and only your own opinion of yourself matters!" she said sternly.
Her look then softened, and she pulled me into a hug.
"M-mama," I sobbed when I embraced her.
"Shhh… It'll be ok," she hushed. "Why don't you go out and play with the Uchihas? They're nice."
I silently wiped away my tears and then looked up at my mother. Her eyes were closed, and she was massaging her temples.
My mom seemed to be constantly exhausted from running the house. She cooked, cleaned, and did all of the things a perfect housewife should do.
And she did all of those chores while being pregnant. Very pregnant.
I didn't want to be a burden, so I nodded and obeyed my mom.
Our neighbors, the Uchihas, were the only people who didn't make fun of my eyes. That was probably because their eyes were peculiar themselves. The deep red with flecks of black made them look a little scary, especially when they were mad.
Itachi, the oldest, was 10 years old. I didn't see him very often because he was always busy overachieving. He was smart, good-looking, athletic, and perfect in every way.
Sasuke, the youngest, was five like me. He was also like Itachi, absolutely perfect.
When I arrived in their backyard, Itachi was mowing the lawn, and Sasuke was swinging on his swingset. I sat on the swing next to the latter. He gave me a slight nod to acknowledge my presence.
The only sound that came between us was the whir of the lawnmower. We didn't talk much; we didn't need to. Sasuke and I could understand each other without frivolous words.
After a while, I decided it was time to go home for dinner. I hopped off of the swing and waved goodbye.
"Feel better," Sasuke called out after me.
The knife glimmered, shimmered, sparkled in my hands. My hideous eyes widened in wonder as I caressed it. What if I-
No, I wouldn't. I couldn't. No matter how tempting the notion could be, I would not give in to my selfish desires.
That was the reason why I was hiding in my bathroom with a knife: I was selfish. I wanted to take away my own life so desperately… to be with him again.
"Sasuke" I whispered, "I'll join you."
Flashback- One Month Ago
A sixteen-year old me and my eleven-year old sister Hanabi each held flowers. Hanabi set her rose onto the wooden box.
I still clutched my lilac.
I stared down at the person inside of the half-open casket. He looked like he was just sleeping, as if he would wake up any minute and embrace me again. His dark, raven hair still rivaled the midnight sky. His pale skin that matched mine looked positively healthy. His expression was set in his infamous smirk.
No, he couldn't be dead.
I reached out to touch his lips. Cold.
I hastily pulled away and set the lilac on the casket. To everyone's surprise, I ran out of the church, away from the depressing piano songs, away from Mrs. Uchiha's wails, away from the only guy who has actually cared for me. Who was now dead.
I collapsed onto the sidewalk and wept. Pedestrians and drivers alike slowed down upon spotting me, studied my position, and hurriedly sped away.
"Don't cry," I heard a voice say.
It was Hanabi. She sat down next to me and gave me a sad smile.
"I'm sure he's an angel now! In heaven! With wings and songs and hearts!" she said.
I tried to stop sniffling. It didn't matter that I was a teenager, I was still a crybaby.
"I bet he's watching over us right now, especially you," Hanabi assured.
"H-hanabi," I hiccupped as I pulled her close to me.
We hugged for a long time. My whole body shook while I sobbed. I was so weak, especially now that Sasuke had passed away. Hanabi had been strong about the whole thing, even when she too witnessed his death.
I cringed when I remembered that it was all my fault:
Sasuke, Hanabi, and I were walking to our homes from the library. We were there earlier because I had to return an overdue book. I dragged Hanabi along so she could actually read something instead of preteen fashion magazines. Sasuke came to escort us just because he was my boyfriend and was very overprotective.
Then there was a drive-by shooting… And you can guess the rest.
I clutched the knife in my hands even harder. Why did I have to return that library book? I had enough money to pay the fine; I had more than enough.
Why did he have to die?
I started trembling and dropped the knife. It splashed when it hit my puddle of tears. Staring at the disturbed water, I thought of him.
Flashback- One Year Ago
Sasuke's slice of pizza remained untouched for twenty minutes. I looked at him inquisitively as I bit into one of the school's disgusting chicken nuggets. I spit it out immediately.
He shoved his plate over to me. I could tell that he was shaking.
"I wasn't asking for your slice," I said. "I was wondering why you've been acting so remote and distant lately."
"It's nothing," the raven-haired boy grunted.
I stared at his pizza and placed it back in front of him.
"Maybe eating will help you feel better," I suggested.
He glanced at me and then looked away. Something weird was going on.
"I-I never wanted…" he began, "to ruin our friendship."
I looked up at him while he continued to stare ahead.
"But I can't help it, sorry." Sasuke continued.
I stammered, "Y-you don't want t-to be f-friends anymo-"
"Let me finish," he interrupted.
He breathed deeply.
"I-I want to be a little more than friends." he rushed out.
I didn't say anything; after all, I didn't have to. My hug told him the answer that he wanted.
"Thank you, Hinata," he whispered.
I only had fifteen more minutes left before my dad would come home from work. In other words, I had a quarter of an hour left to decide if I was really going to follow through with my suicide.
Sure, I would kill myself physically, but then I would be alive again once I reunited with Sasuke.
With that thought in my head, I decided what to do. With one quick slash, everything was over.
With fifteen minutes to spare, I was finally with him.