The statue didn't move.
Squalo slowly let the cards fall to the floor. This was fucking ridiculous.
He had believed in his boss. His blind loyalty was going to be the end of him, he knew. He'd gone in, brazen with his trusty sword, ambitious beyond reason. He could take over the bloody world, but he couldn't save his boss from his ironic fate.
Squalo sighed, shifting his eyes to the frozen face of Xanxus. What had it been, 2 years, 4 years, 10 years? He'd lost count. Xanxus's face remained the same as always, cold as steel but eyes ablaze with anger that set Squalo's skin on fire. It had been so long since he'd felt those large dark hands on his soft white skin, eons since he'd felt his bed full and warm.
Squalo stood up angrily and threw the table in front of him, smashing it into thousands of pieces. His skin was itching for a touch it couldn't have. He felt his rage grow and burst, his body shaking in frustration. How could he just let this happen?
"If only..." he whispered under his breath, staring intently at Xanxus through crystal, "If only I were good enough."
Xanxus didn't reply.
The feeling in the pit of Squalo's stomach intensified as he stepped closer to his frozen lover. He splayed long gloved fingers out over the glacier, not able to feel its icy bite, trying so hard to touch the man beneath.
Squalo rested his head against the impenetrable barrier, his throat feeling tense and aching. It was like he couldn't breath anymore, and he choked on air. He tightened his hands into fists and banged on the glassy texture as hard as he could, feeling his eyes burn and his throat constrict to the point of pain.
"Squalo, how long are you going to be cooped up in there? Come see my new toy!"
"No!" he screamed, "Get the fuck out of this fucking house, you stupid brat!"
He was not going to deal with Bel today. Squalo felt sick to his stomach, head spinning. So this was what crying felt like.
"Come onnn, Squalo! Shi shi shi, I bet you're rubbing yourself all over boss, huh!"
Squalo bit back an angry protest. Don't respond, and he'll get bored and leave you alone.
"Okay, I'm coming in, ushi shi shi!"
And before Squalo could even open his mouth, the annoying 13 year old had burst open the door with the giant purple bazooka and aimed it right for the man's head. The last thing Squalo saw was the face-splitting grin of the boy, the glistening white teeth that he promised to break when he got back, if he got back.
The room spun, his headache and shivering body not helping. Pink smoke billowed about him, and he felt sicker than he had in years. When it filtered out, he was in a huge bed that was covered in red Egyptian silk sheets smelling vaguely of sex. Looking around the gloomy castle walls, it looked like Xanxus's old room except even more grandiose.
"Well shit, aren't you up early."
Squalo looked up to the voice.
The man with Xanxus's features hovered in the doorway for just a moment before striding over to the adjacent bathroom, his loose white button-up half open and his scarred hands fiddling with his tie. He had barely glanced at Squalo before fixing himself in the mirror.
"You usually sleep until the sun goes down, you little bitch. Fucking should not be that tiresome, even for you."
Squalo could not make time to blink, taking in as much of the moving, breathing, talking, older, taller, sexier Xanxus in front of him. But then he startled himself by realizing what was happening. The bazooka only lasted 5 minutes.
Throwing himself out of the bed, he raced over to Xanxus without the other man noticing.
"Was it too much for you? I know I'm good and all, but fuck, grow a spi-"
"No, no," Squalo whispered against the man's back, clutching desperately as he let tears trickle down his cheek. This was almost too much for him to handle all at once. Long since had he gone into withdrawals. "Don't make me go back."
Xanxus blinked back into the mirror, indifferently knotting his tie.
"Go back where, stupid. You're already home."
Gloved fingers held an iron grip, pressing as close as he could into his future lover. Xanxus sighed and turned around in the embrace, staring down at the past.
"It won't be long," he reassured quietly, sliding those familiarly large dark hands down smooth leather fingers. "You'll see me again soon."
Squalo knew the face he was making was disgusting, grimacing as tears continued to fall and he withheld sobs. This wasn't manly at all. But he was a mess without Xanxus.
"Come on, don't be such a fucking baby," his boss whispered, taking hold of his chin with utmost care despite his vocabulary. "You've had worse."
Squalo drew in a sharp breath and voiced the beginning of a "no", but broke off in a stream of whimpers.
He'd give anything for this. The Xanxus in the future knew that better than anyone else. Then again, this Xanxus had known him for even longer than Squalo himself did.
"Come here," he breathed, pulling Squalo's hands from around his waist to lead him back into the bedroom. All the while, the longhaired swordsman wiped fruitlessly at his sopping eyes, only resulting in wet gloves and a burning face.
"Stop that," his boss commanded. Squalo choked on his sobs, but stopped rubbing at his face. Rough calloused fingers replaced his own, swiping away relentless tears as softly as his hands would allow. Squalo had to kiss him, kiss him now.
He was hungry. Squalo bit and licked and tasted all that was before him, so much so he could remember the sensation for days. Xanxus let him do as he wished, kissing back at moments.
"Fucking god dammit, Xanxus," Squalo squeaked, tears still rolling down his cheeks.
"There's no fucking time," he whispered to the man above him. Xanxus didn't say anything. But his eyes were alive and ablaze, and that was enough for Squalo. He held back his pitiful cries as he wrapped his arms around his boss and embraced him as if he were to die.
"I'll make time," Xanxus said suddenly. With an agile and experienced swiftness, Squalo was devoid of clothes. Fingers swept across his wet cheek to collect tears, and were quickly pressed down low. Squalo moaned quietly as a finger breeched him, impatience evident.
"Fuck me like you used to," he commanded. It wasn't uncommon for Xanxus to completely forgo the preparation step, and Squalo didn't mind. It reminded him that he was good enough as he was. Xanxus couldn't argue with that.
"If you say so," he murmured in his ear, large burnt hands gripping his hips like a vice. He pushed in with a tight groan, and Squalo howled, overriding the ripping pain with devotion and the former loneliness. He thrust his hips up, his abs brushing against Xanxus's own, arching his body perfectly. He tilted his head to the side as his hair splayed out on the silk, mouth open in astonishment. Xanxus from the future grinned.
"You never change," he whispered, leaning down to press his forehead to Squalo's, pumping quickly in and out. His hands slid up white thighs to take hold of his knees, thrusting wildly. Squalo appreciated it, and showed it, crying out as loud as he could. He had missed this, god, he had.
"T-Then wha...Ah! Wh-What about y-you?" he managed to moan, curving with every brutal snap. Xanxus thrust even harder at that, curling his strong hands around his twitching arousal. Squalo screamed, shuddering violently. So close, so close!
"You'll see, now won't you?" and that was all he said. Pink smoke blew up in Xanxus's face, and the pitiful little body beneath him changed to muscles and maturity. Longer hair and longer limbs came forth, and they locked eyes. The future Squalo said nothing, as his mouth was a fine white line, teeth clenched tightly behind it. His hands twitched nervously, his whole body shaking. Xanxus didn't comment. He knew what was wrong.
Trembling arms embraced him securely, pulling Xanxus down onto him. Gloved fingers smoothed over wild black hair, caressing like he would soft fur. His breath came out wavering, and his body was something of its own, but Xanxus was there. He was there.
"Don't you ever," he threatened under his breath, grip tightening until he could feel the very blood under his fingertips. Xanxus merely breathed into his ear softly, because he knew he was there as well.
"Yeah," he whispered.
The Squalo from the past was not as lucky as his counterpart, who lived in a time where his boss was there. He was alone.
The smoke cleared, and he was in front of his frozen boss. He was naked and crying and in pain, but that was nothing compared to the aching in his chest. That glimmer of hope had done wonders to him, and he wasn't ever going to forget. He would remember how his boss would look in the future, how he would still be there.
He'd wait. He'd wait for ten years, if that were what it took. As long as Xanxus was still in his future, he couldn't care less. He'd do everything in his power to keep it like that.
He just had to make sure not to screw it up.